I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They were cooked in Greece.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
This is a time and a space for mourning. To mourn everyone that has been taken from us. Every love, every passion, every piece of art and every ounce of joy that has been stolen from our future. This is what we are mourning.
In memory of:
Nathalia Leticia Barbosa da Fonseca (“Bia"). Gretell Ceballos Ramírez. Felycya Harris. Michelle Ramos Alarcón ("Brenda"). Antonella R.G. Erick Deseano. Marcos. Paolla Bueno. Adrianinha Paris. Brooklyn DeShauna Smith. An unidentified woman from Santa Rosa Mexico. Susana Silvestre. Selin Aynaci. Sara Blackwood. An unidentified woman from Chicoloapan, Mexico. Viktoria Basakovskaya (Vika). Mickerlange François. Aitiana Valeria Ramírez. An unidentified woman from Tlajomulco De Zúñiga Mexico. Violeta Ramírez Pérez. Sangeetha. Gabriela Ramirez. Bruna Marins de Oliveira. Emy Yruma. Barbara Valencia. Natasha Nascimento. Joana Domingos. Angel Haynes 'Angel Unique'. Juliana Piropo. Arsalan. Vicente González. Cristina Rodríguez. Samylla Marry Windson. Barbie Girl. Sandy da Silva Gomes. Skylar Heath. Alejandra Estefanía Benítez. Mia Zabala. An unidentified woman from Chilpancingo, Mexico. Ester Vogue. An Unidentified person from Manaus, Brazil. Soledad Rojas Paúcar. Fendi Mon'ezah Armstrong 'Peaches'. Daniela Ramos. Juana Criollo Cabascango. Paquita Brasil. Yunieski Carey Herrera 'Yuni’. Sheila de Oliveira. Asia Jynaé Foster. Kimberly Susan Fia. Chae’Meshia Simms 'ChaeChae’. Bianca Pereira. Cristina Hernández Castillo. Laura. Micaeli Monteverde / Mikaely Campion. Jhennyfer. Giovanna Angulo Ramos. Rayssa Eloá Menezes. Natasha Liverman. Sherlyn Scarleth Villarreal. Johana Morena Mayor. G. Rocha Silva. Tati Quirós. An unidentified woman from Chilpancingo, Mexico.. Alejandra Salazar Villa. Bruna Tenório. Titi Davila. Vicenta de Loris. An unidentified man from Serra, Brazil. Karen Cristina. Juliana da Cruz Costa. Paula Brandão. Sudarshan Suryavanshi. Nataly Lily. Duda. Jaheim Pugh Jaheim Barbie. Maria. Yaelin Maydana Olmedo. An unidentified person from Natal, Brazil. An unidentified girl from Boituva, Brazil. An unidentified person from Panaji, Goa, India. Oreinha. Wanessa Sampaio. Alejandra Salazar. Marcela Estella Vieira. Iratxe Otero. Courtney 'Eshay' Key. Alexandria Winchester. La Tigra Ramirez. Nelly Garcia. Erika. Four Unidentified people from Myanmar. Sapa. Thaw Thaw. Andressa das Chagas. Samantha Riaño Morales. Keron Ravach. Duda Laif/ Eduarda Scarton. Tyianna 'Davarea' Alexander. Lupita da Silva. An unidentified woman from Acap
... keep reading on reddit ➡Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
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Chemical Fate and Tr
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
