Kala Tour Puns

Hi guys, I’m curious how would you define rich people? Kasi lately narerealize ko na magka-iba pa rin ang may-kaya sa mayaman at sa ultra rich.

Disclaimer: Baka lang may mapulot kang aral or pwede kang magshare din ng sarili mong input 😊 kung kontento ko na sa life mo, that's great 😊

A little backstory..

I’m currently working for a small manufacturing company and I’m so impressed sa owner at sa family nya kasi sobrang down to earth pa rin nila kahit sobrang yaman. Rags to Riches. 2 years nakong admin staff at nagrereport ako directly sa owner at sa wife nya at dahil dyan, unti2 kong nabuo yung sariling definition ko ng mayaman.

For your reference, 7 years palang yung business ng boss ko as in from 10m net worth to more than 200million ang net worth nila. Yung business ng Boss ko is may kinalaman sa organic materials. He loss his father at 9 kaya nangakal at naging boy sya to help her Nanay and his 3 siblings. He didnt finish school. Naging OFW din sya pero sapat lang, nagtry din ng ibang mga businesses bago nakahit ng jackpot. At yung products nya I can honestly say na di naman unique, sila lang siguro ang naunang makapagmass produce. Yung unang kinita talaga is nakainvest sa business kaya nakapagpagawa sya ng factory, well sa tulong na din ng bank loans.

Dati kasi ang alam ko lang sa mayayaman is marami silang pera, properties etc. O kaya sinuwerte, tagapagmana lang, corruption (sorrynotsorry) May prejudice pa nga tayo na matapobre sila at mayayabang (Parasite ba to? haha), mga di na kelangan magwork 9-5 o kaya maraming sasakyan at di napapagod sa pagcocommute. Sa bahay may mga yaya at puro karne lang ang kinakain. In some cases these are true naman, pero dahil sa boss ko nagkaroon ako ng deeper meaning and mindset. So here are my thoughts:

1. Gano karami ang marami sa “marami silang pera”? 10 million? 20 million? Para sa akin atleast 100 million cash and liquid assets, madalas talaga hindi pa kasama yung properties at businesses sa computation sa 100m na yan. Mahirap yumaman yung katulad natin na umaasa sa sweldo, need mo pa maging top executive para kumita ng 6digits. Yung boss ko na puro businesses (oo dapat marami source of income), kumikita ng 5million a month o more or less 200k a day. At magreretire na raw sya kung kumikita na sya ng 10million a month. Mam,Ser ampunin nyo na po ako. hihi

2. Lalo lumaki ang net worth nila dahil sa pagbili ng properties hindi ng sports car o anumang luho. Kung meron man silang luxury car, barya na lang

Hai, semua!

Berhubung gw susah tidur malem ini jadi ya dibikin sekarang aja deh. Gw udah jalan 2 tahun jadi driver Gojek dan sempet ambil tawaran jadi kurir paket Shopee juga di akhir taun kemarin karena pascapandemi semua tampak suram di sisi gw. Sekarang keadaan gw perlahan membaik dan karena itulah gw memutuskan untuk ngadain sesi AMA ini karena kalo yang dari gw liat masih pada banyak yang penasaran sama sistem orderan Gojek dan rutinitas driver di kala senggangnya. So ask away!

I will start responding to the questions at 9AM or when I woke up later today.

Proof:

Me holding the sign.

Application.

Post edit thanks to /u/gatelgatelbentol

FAQ:

1. No, siskaeee isn't real. Yes there's a bokep with ojol fucking her. But its as real as "tante mirna diewe sama pak RT". It's not tante, it's not mirna, and the guy it's not pak RT.
2. No, you don't need to tips. Except: it's raining hard, traffic are very bad, you stop more than once, the driver wait for you for more than 10 minutes, you're being asshole, you're in a rush and driver up the speed, you bring lots of things, you bring a kid with you.
3. If you order from CBD area or known to have parking, just add 1rb. Even if drivers are parked outside of mall/on trotoar. If you're entering protected parking area while riding, add for parking. You don't know how many minutes already passed, or if driver it's already outside grace period, or if outgate is jam packed.
4. Yes, rating is very important. B5 is preferred. If youre not feeling to give B5, just leave no rating. If driver are being asshole and you think he deserve B1, go ahead.

Edit 1: I am awake and gotta start answering your questions. Goddamn that's a lot of questions.

Edit 2: Entar gw lanjut lagi. Lupa mau sarapan, lol.

Edit 3: Alright, I'm back.

Edit 4: I'm gonna wrap this AMA now. It's been a lot of fun answering your questions and I hope to see you guys in future AMA if possible. In case you wanted to support me financially I have Saweria account which I will use anything inside there to fund my Tour-de-Java trip. Just DM me for the link. Anyway, see you guys later and if you have any further question just find me on /r/indonesia's telegram group. I'll be there often. Goodbye!

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

I would have a daughter

But Bill kept the Windows

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

You officially hit rock bottom

And then you will all be sorry.

No it doesn't.

Now it’s syncing.

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

I will find you. You have my Word.

“thank you for your cervix.”

...sails are going through the roof.

Made me smile

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

A taxi

But now I stand corrected.

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

Wookie mistake.

Theoretical Fizz-ics

Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark

I said, “That makes two of us.”

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.

An assassin

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?

He's currently assembling his cabinet.