Justin Welch Puns

New episode with Matt Welch of Reason magazine where we discuss whether Kmele Foster would be Justin's VP and how Justin's entry into the LP field changes things.

https://oembed.libsyn.com/embed?item_id=14277215

It sucks to have this conversation already, but we may as well jump into the off-season. I see Bozeman and Ricard as the two UFA's the Ravens should try to keep (as long as the price is right, of course), but otherwise I don't see any who are anywhere close to must-haves. Losing L.J. Fort last year hurt tremendously on defense, but Bynes and Board are probably cheaper and, regardless, no point in making a decision on this position until after the draft. Elliott was a beast when he was on the field, but his injury history gives me pause about signing him for much money or a three-or-more year deal.

I don't even recognize the RFA's, so I don't see them getting tendered.

On the ERFA's, I can see Westry, Stone, and probably Colon-Castillo given the offensive struggles. At least he didn't shit himself when he went in for Bozeman last Sunday.

Unrestricted free agents are:

C: Bradley Bozeman

WR: Sammy Watkins

RB: Latavius Murray, Devonta Freeman

FB: Patrick Ricard

OLB: Pernell McPhee

LB: Chris Board

ILB: L.J. Fort

DT: Brandon Williams, Jutain Ellis

DE: Calais Campbell, Justin Houston

CB: Jimmy Smith, Anthony Averette

S: Deshon Elliott

Restricted Free Agents are:

G: Brandon Knight

ILB: Otaro Alaka

Exclusive Rights Free Agents are:

C: Trystan Colon-Castillo

DT: Aaron Crawford

LB: Kristian Welch

LS: Nick Moore

CB: Chris Westry, Khalil Dorsey

S: Geno Stone

https://www.spotrac.com/nfl/free-agents/baltimore-ravens/

I was curious to see who was the best player born on each day of the year. It turned out to be a bit more of a struggle than I thought it was going to be, so I decided to simply sort it by WAR. Does that mean that sometimes a better player got left off the list for a player who simply had a longer career? Absolutely. But WAR is a nice simple stat. So, here's the list!

January

• 1 – Tim Keefe
• 2 – Edgar Martinez
• 3 – A.J. Burnett
• 4 – Kris Bryant
• 5 – Bill Dahlen
• 6 – Early Wynn
• 7 – Johnny Mize
• 8 – Jason Giambi
• 9 – Stan Javier
• 10 – Willie McCovey
• 11 – Max Carey
• 12 – Bill Madlock
• 13 – Kevin Mitchell
• 14 – Sonny Siebert
• 15 – Bobby Grich
• 16 – Albert Pujols
• 17 – Darrell Porter
• 18 – Curt Flood
• 19 – John Matlack
• 20 – Brian Giles
• 21 – Mike Tiernan
• 22 – Amos Strunk
• 23 – Red Donahue
• 24 – José Quintana
• 25 – Danny Richardson
• 26 – George Blaeholder
• 27 – Bibb Falk
• 28 – Magglio Ordóñez
• 29 – Jason Schmidt
• 30 – Tony Mullane
• 31 – Nolan Ryan

February

• 1 – Paul Blair
• 2 – Wes Ferrell
• 3 – Fred Lynn
• 4 – Doug Fister
• 5 – Hank Aaron
• 6 – Babe Ruth
• 7 – Carney Lansford
• 8 – Dobie Moore
• 9 – Vladimir Guerrero
• 10 – Lance Berkman
• 11 – Jimmy Ryan
• 12 – Chet Lemon
• 13 – Sal Bando
• 14 – Pretzels Getzien
• 15 – Billy Hamilton
• 16 – Ben Sanders
• 17 – Wally Pipp
• 18 – Joe Gordon
• 19 – Dave Stewart
• 20 – Justin Verlander
• 21 – Alan Trammell
• 22 – Clarence Mitchell
• 23 – Ray Brown
• 24 – Honus Wagner
• 25 – Ron Santo
• 26 – Pete Alexander
• 27 – Johnny Pesky
• 28 – Terry Turner
• 29 – Al Rosen

March

• 1 – Paul Hines
• 2 – Mel Ott
• 3 – John Ward
• 4 – Dazzy Vance
• 5 – Sam Thompson
• 6 – Lefty Grove
• 7 – Jeff Kent
• 8 – Dick Allen
• 9 – Arky Vaughan
• 10 – John Briggs
• 11 – Bobby Abreu
• 12 – Jim Wynn
• 13 – Home Run Baker
• 14 – Kevin Brown
• 15 – Bobby Bonds
• 16 – Buddy Myer
• 17 – Charlie Root
• 18 – Dwayne Murphy
• 19 – Clayton Kershaw
• 20 – Joe McGinnity
• 21 – Manny Sanguillén
• 22 – Billy Goodman
• 23 – Mark Buehrle
• 24 – George Sisler
• 25 – Tom Glavine
• 26 – Kevin Seitzer
• 27 – Buster Posey
• 28 – Lon Warneke
• 29 – Cy Young
• 30 – Chris Sale
• 31 – Jack Stivetts

April

• 1 – Phil Niekro
• 2 – Luke Appling
• 3 – Guy Hecker
• 4 – Tris Speaker
• 5 – Bill Dinneen
• 6 – Bert Blyleven
• 7 – Adrián Beltré
• 8 – Gary Carter
• 9 – Doc White
• 10 – Ken Griffey Sr.
• 11 – Bret Saberhagen
• 12 – Vic Willis
• 13 – Lorenzo Cain
• 14 – Greg Maddux
• 15 – Willie Davis
• 16 – Paul Waner

Scream:

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Joaquin Phoenix

Breckin Meyer

Jason Lee

Melissa Joan Hart

Brittany Murphy

Alicia Witt

Melanie Lynskey

Melinda Clarke

Reese Witherspoon

Ben Affleck

Brooke Shields

Janeane Garofalo

Justin Whalin

Elizabeth Berkley

A. J. Langer

Charlotte Ayanna

Michael Landes

Chloë Sevigny

Seth Green

Molly Ringwald

Scream 2:

Alicia Silverstone

Eric Mabius

Natasha Gregson Wagner

Paula Marshall

Liv Tyler

Denise Richards

Tobey Maguire

Casey Affleck

Scream 3:

Kate Hudson

Jamie Lee Curtis

Téa Leoni

David Boreanaz

Steve Austin

Kate Winslet

Shannen Doherty

Charisma Carpenter

Christopher Walken

Paul Walker

Josh Hartnett

James Van Der Beek

Johnathon L. Jackson

Jennifer Connelly

Rachel True

Keri Russell

Alyssa Milano

Claire Danes

Christie Clark

Alyson Hannigan

Kellie Martin

Eliza Dushku

Tara Reid

Monica

Ali Larter

Benicio Del Toro

Teri Hatcher

Heather Locklear

Fairuza Balk

Glenn Quinn

Charlie O'Connell

Greg Sestero

Janet Jackson

Scream 4:

Lauren Graham

Lake Bell

Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan

Ashley Greene

Scout Taylor-Compton

Shane Dawson

Selena Gomez

Jenna Coleman

Hilary Duff

Rutina Wesley

Charlyne Yi

Kevin Pennington

Christina Ricci

Aubrey Plaza

Alia Shawkat

Amanda Bynes

Gabrielle Union

Scream 5:

Samara Weaving

Jocelyn Hudon

Iyana Halley

Crystal Lowe

Ellery Sprayberry

Lauren Balone

Cole Sprouse

Lili Reinhart

Taylor Swift

Ally Beardsley

Olivia Scott Welch

Fred Hechinger

(If mods want to use this thread to track movements and such, I'll update it when news are coming out, just let me know)

Lots of important players hitting free agency plus other important moves that could be done, such as extensions or releases. Just wanted to have a place to talk about how everyone is feeling, predictions and such. Im using overthecap for the numbers, so it may not be 100% reliable. Im not going to include Street Free Agents (SFA) which are players that were cut by the team but no other team has picked them up. For some reason, overthecap have them as our free agents, but they can sign with anyone anytime, unlike Unrestricted Free Agents which cant sign with anyone until March, 16th.

OL Patrick Mekari signed to a 3 year, $15,450,000 extension on 12/30/2021.

Ravens signed 8 to future deals on 01/10/22 (DB Robert Jackson, OT Jaryd Jones-Smith, G/DT Khalil McKenzie, WR Jaylon Moore, C James Murray, TE Tony Poljan, DB Kevin Toliver, WR Binjimen Victor). They dont count against the cap until the start of the new league year (March 16th at 16:00 EST).

Ravens currently are $20,032,682 under the salary cap, which is set at $208.2M.

Ravens currently have $760,660 in dead money.

Ravens currently have 40 players under contract for 2022, without counting the 8 players that were signed to future deals.

UFA:

• DL Calais Campbell
• DL Brandon Williams
• DL Justin Ellis
• LB Chris Board
• LB L. J. Fort
• LB Josh Bynes
• EDGE Justin Houston
• EDGE Pernell McPhee
• CB Jimmy Smith
• CB Anthony Averett
• CB Kevon Seymour
• S Anthony Levine
• S DeShon Elliot
• QB Josh Johnson
• WR Sammy Watkins
• TE Eric Tomlison
• FB Patrick Ricard
• RB Devonta Freeman
• RB Latavius Murray
• C Bradley Bozeman
• LT David Sharpe

RFA:

• LB Otaro Alaka
• CB Chris Westry

ERFA:

• LG Brandon Knight
• LT Kristian Welch
• C Trystan Colon-Castillo
• QB Tyler Huntley
• RB Ty Williams
• LS Nick Moore
• DL Aaron Crawford
• CB Khalil Dorsey
• S Geno Stone

Players who will not be available tonight: Lamar Jackson (injury), Tyler Huntley (covid), Chris Streveler (covid), JK Dobbins (injury), Gus Edwards (injury), Justise Hill (covid), Patrick Ricard (injury), Devin Duvernay (injury), Jaylon Moore (covid), Josh Oliver (covid), Ja'Wuan James (injury), Tyre Phillips (injury), Ben Powers (injury), David Sharpe (covid), Ronnie Stanley (injury), Aaron Crawford (injury), Xavier Kelly (injury), Justin Madubuike (covid), Derek Wolfe (injury), Otaro Alaka (injury), Chris Board (covid), L.J. Fort (injury), Daelin Hayes (injury), Justin Houston (covid), Pernell McPhee (covid), Kristian Welch (covid), Khalil Dorsey (injury), DeShon Elliott (injury), Marlon Humphrey (injury), Iman Marshall (injury), Marcus Peters (injury), Jimmy Smith (covid), Geno Stone (covid), Kevin Toliver (covid), Ar'Darius Washington (injury), Chris Westry (covid).

36 Players missing in total

15 Offensive players

21 Defensive players

15 from covid

21 from injury

Calais Campbell, Patrick Mekari, Odafe Oweh, and Brandon Stephens are good to go.

Welp.. seasons over and offseason has started. I'm sure players are bummed more than any single one of us but I can guarantee the FO is getting started this week on planning for offseason signings and the draft. This team has so much potential and I can not wait to start our 2022 Revenge tour next year. There has been A LOT of smack talk from other teams - ESPECIALLY IN THE DIVISION - and I cant wait to see us run it up on those that were talking shit just to make sure they feel it. I want stomping on logos - IG lives talking shit - I'm here for every last bit of the pettiness. That being said - some players are unfortunately not going to be around next year to experience it with us. I wanted to know who you guys think we should try and bring back, who we should let walk, and who we should cut for savings?

Free Agents

Calais Campbell

Brandon Williams

Sammy Watkins

Pat Ricard

Jimmy Smith

Justin Houston

Chris Board

Justin Ellis

LJ Fort

Lat Murray

Pernell McPhee

Devona Freeman

Anthony Averett

Trystan Colon-Castillo

Kristan Welch

Geno Stone

Nick Moore

Christ Westry

Aaron Crawford

Deshon Elliott

Bradley Bozeman

WHO WE CAN CUT AND SAVE MONEY

Marcus Peters ($10mill)

Tavon Young ($5.8mill)

Alejando Villanueva ($6mill)

Sam Koch ($2.1mill)

Miles Boykin ($2.5mill)

Ben Powers ($2.5mill)

Josh Oliver ($1mill)

Ja'Waun James ($3mill)

Da die Werkstudenten in unserem Büro in der Überzahl sind läuft meistens ein Radiosender ihrer Wahl. Als ich gestern zum zweiten Mal innerhalb einer Stunde 'Follow You' von der Band Imagine Dragons hören musste und mein Geduldsfaden extrem angespannt wurde, habe ich mir die Freiheit genommen zu überprüfen wie oft Lieder an einem Arbeitstag wiederholt werden.

Während meines Aufenthalts von 9 Stunden im Büro (Leben? Welches Leben?) wurden 23 Lieder doppelt gespielt, 5 Lieder drei mal, dann hätten wir noch 'Montero' von Lil Nas X und 'Ghost' von Justin Bieber, die wir gleich vier mal hören durften.

Mal abgesehen davon, dass so gut wie alles sich gleich (beschissen) anhört, es gibt doch Unmengen von Popmusik der letzten Jahre um zumindest etwas Vielfalt hineinzubringen. Werden Radiosender dafür bezahlt stupide immer das Gleiche auf und ab zu spielen?

This is my first topic starter on any Reddit board. I compiled a list of teams I consider to be each side in the NRL's best 17 over that period of time. I'm asking if there should be any changes to any of the teams and who would win a fictional competition? Who would play in a Grand Final ? or even a top 8 if you wanted, I have gone on a merit-based system so Thurston doesn't make the dogs' team over Sherwin etc.

Brisbane Broncos

1. Darius Boyd

2. Lote Tuqiri

3. Justin Hodges

4. Israel Folau

5. Wendall Sailor

6. Darren Lockyer

7. Kevin Walters

8. Shane Webcke

9. Shaun Berrigan

10. Petero Civoniceva

11. Gorden Tallis

12. Sam Thaiday

13. Tonie Carroll

14. Karmichael Hunt

15. Payne Haas

16. Corey Parker

17. Brad Thorn

Canberra Raiders

1. Clinton Schifkofske

2. Jordan Rapana

3. Jarrod Croker

4. Joel Monaghan

5. Blake Ferguson

6. Jack Wighton

7. George Williams

8. Josh Papalii

9. Josh Hodgson

10. Ruben Wiki

11. Elliott Whitehead

12. Josh Bateman

13. Jason Croker

14. Mark McLinden

15. Luke Davico

16. David Shillington

17. Alan Tongue

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

1. Luke Patten

2. Hazem El-Masri

3. Nigel Vagana

4. Josh Morris

5. Matt Utai

6. Braith Anasta

7. Brent Sherwin

8. James Graham

9. Michael Ennis

10. Steve Price

11. Willie Mason

12. Andrew Ryan

13. Sonny-Bill Williams

14. Ben Barba

15. Mark O'Meley

16. Josh Jackson

17. Roy Asotasi

Cronulla Sharks

1. David Peachey

2. Mat Rogers

3. Jack Bird

4. Chris McKenna

5. Valentine Holmes

6. James Maloney

7. Brett Kimmorley

8. Jason Stevens

9. Michael Ennis

10. Andrew Fifita

11. Luke Lewis

12. Wade Graham

13. Paul Gallen

14. Preston Campbell

15. Matt Prior

16. Jayson Bukuya

17. Greg Bird

Gold Coast Titans

1. Will Zillman

2. Kevin Gordon

3. Mat Rogers

4. Brian Kelly

5. Anthony Don

6. AJ Brimson

7. Scott Prince

8. Luke Bailey

9. Nathan Friend

10. Ryan James

11. Nate Myles

12. David Fifita

13. Greg Bird

14. Preston Campbell

15. Anthony Laffranchi

16. Mark Minichello

17. Ashley Harrison

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

1. Brett Stewart

2. Tom Trbojevic

3. Steve Matai

4. Jamie Lyon

5. Rueben Garrick

6. Kieran Foran

7. Daly Cherry-Evans

8. Brent Kite

9. Matt Ballin

10. Addin Fonua-Blake

11. Glenn Stewart

12. Jack Trbojevic

13. Ben Kennedy

14. Michael Monaghan

15. Martin Taupau

16. Antony Watmough

17. Steve Menzies

Melbourne Storm

1. Billy Slater

2. Josh Addo-Carr

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

Guten Abend liebe Mitaffen!

https://preview.redd.it/8gtdrx2pmuv71.jpg?width=517&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40f98ee0804d2298b6f91374a231ce9e252256e1

Der heutige Handelstag brachte uns starke Schwankungen zwischen 172 und 185 USD. Letztlich konnte unsere Lieblingsaktie bei 177,91 mit 3,94 USD im Plus schließen.Das Handelsvolumen betrug 2,1 Mio Aktien, was im Vergleich zum Vortag eine Steigerung um etwa 700k bedeutet.

yahoo finance

Der Blick auf die Heatmap zeigt uns einen sehr durchmischten Tag. Auffallen sind vorallem unsere Problemkinder China und Brasilien, welche beinahe ausschließlich rot sind.

finviz.com

Auf den Kryptomärkten sind für den Tag vorwiegend Gewinner zu finden. Die meisten Kurse gewannen zwischen 1 und 3 %, wobei es auch Ausnahmen gab, die bis zu 20 % stiegen.

coin360.com

Das heutige RRP-Update zeigt uns einen Wert von 1.423,2 Mrd. USD mit 84 Gegenparteien. Im Vergleich zum Vortag bedeutet dies einen Anstieg um 10,1 Mrd.

Am meisten Upvotes gab es auf Superstonk seit gestern für einen Beitrag, der zeigt, wie ein Transporter, während der Gerichtsverhandlungen, vor dem SEC Hauptquartier geparkt wurde. Der Wagen verbreitete auf den Seiten der Ladefläche Botschaften wie den Hashtag #CITADELISNOTRETAIL.

Beliebt war auch das direkte Zitat von Richter Justin Walker, mit welchem er durchblicken ließ, dass er nicht hinter Citadels Position steht, da diese sich offenbar zum Sieg manipulieren wolle.

Anders als die bisher erwähnten Neuigkeiten, ist der nächste Punkt Tagesaktuell.Es verdichten sich die Hinweise, dass GameStop sich auf den Start seines NFT-Marktplatzes vorbereitet. In diesem Beitrag findet ihr mehrere Stellenausschreiben dazu verlinkt.Passend daz

And now I’m cannelloni