What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The Jungle was filled with diverse but selfish animals.

it was a vibrant egosystem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mansheep_
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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Why didn't any of the animals believe the hunter when he said he was the king of the jungle?

Because he was a lion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soulburn85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Open the door

Put the elephant in

Close the door.

How do you put a lion in a refrigerator?

Open the door

Remove the elephant

put the lion in

Close the door

There was a meeting of all of the animals in the jungle. Who didn't show up?

The lion. He was still in the refrigerator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Wife got me with a jungle themed joke (Long-ish)

So we’ve got this FisherPrice Projector Mobile thing that projects a rotating imaging onto the ceiling. (Very nice little thing, highly suggest for babies)

Anyways... We’ve got it set up in the living room and Wife, Son, and I are laying on the ground in the dark watching it go round and round. It’s Jungle Themed, so a lion, elephant giraffe, tiger, a few monkeys, and so on...

We’re pointing out the different animals to Son and he’s repeating a few words here and there... When he starts waving and saying β€œHi” as a new animal rotates in.

So Wife goes, β€œHere comes the Lion. Can you say Hi to the Lion?”

And Son waves and says β€œHi!” and giggles.

Wife: β€œAnd there’s an Elephant! Can you Hi to the Elephant?”

Son: β€œHi... toots”

Wife: β€œYes! Toots! And here’s the next animal. Can you wave to the tiger?”

Son: β€œHi!”

Wife: β€œThat’s the β€˜Hi of the Tiger’”

Me: β€œ... πŸ’€ πŸ’€ πŸ’€β€

Wife: β€œYou love me... Look Son! A Zebra!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desdomen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
500 bricks on an airplane and one falls off. How many are left?

((To be played back and forth with a friend as questions and answers))

[499.]

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Put elephant in. 3. Close door.]

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Put giraffe in. 4. Close door.]

All the animals attend a birthday party for the king of the jungle, except one. Who didn’t attend? [The giraffe. He’s still in the refrigerator.]

A girl swims across an alligator infested river, but safely makes it to the other side. How was that possible? [All the alligators were at the birthday party.]

The girls still dies though, how come? [The one brick from the airplane fell on her head.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaShMa_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My uncle told me this one

Two men are walking in the jungle when suddenly one has to poop. He tells his friend and the friend says he has to go too. Of course there are many dangerous animals in the jungle so they are scared of going alone. Then the first man suggests that they get some leaves and squat back to back so they can keep an eye out. The second man agrees with him. While they are pooping a lion's roar erupts from the trees. The first man speaks

"You're sacred aren't you"

The a a second man not wanting to seem like a coward says no.

The first man says

"Then would you mind wiping your own ass"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolAsACucumber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Step-dad joked just now

Whole fam sitting at the table playing Pictureka having a blast. My mom gets a card where she needs to find a jungle animal and points out a rhino.

Me: Mom, rhinos don't live in the jungle, they live in plains.

Step-dad: Ben, they're too heavy to live in a plane.

My laughs ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benso411
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2014
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle??

A polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 483
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tempsilon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FishFettish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdlyons81
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the stupidest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorp1a
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
what is the dumbest animal in the jungle?

the polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuczkowski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The Polar Bear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
🚨︎ report

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