Received a cassette of these two recordings from a friend a long time ago. One of my favorite tapes to listen to on snowy days. Did a search of a few subreddits, and didn't find any posts, so thought I would share.
Chromometrophonia
#[Liga MX - 2021/2022] #FT: 90' Santos Laguna 1-1 Atlas
Match Info:
Date: August 19, 2021
Time: 00:00 (UTC)
Venue: Estadio Nuevo Corona
Recent form
Santos Laguna: DDW
Atlas: WWD
Lineups:
Santos Laguna - 5-3-2
Starting XI: Carlos Acevedo, Carlos Orrantia, Hugo Rodriguez, Félix Torres, Dória, David Andrade, Ronaldo Prieto, Alan Cervantes, Jose Avila, Jesús Ocejo, Juan Otero
Substitutes: Gibran Lajud, Jonathan Díaz, Ismael Govea, Edgar Games, Fernando Gorriarán, Andrés Ibargüen, Jesús Isijara, Diego Valdés, Jordan Carillo Rodriguez, Ignacio Jeraldino
Coach: G. Almada
Atlas - 4-2-3-1
Starting XI: Camilo Vargas, Diego Barbosa, Anderson Santamaría, Hugo Nervo, Jesús Angulo, Ángel Márquez, Aldo Rocha, Jairo Torres, Julián Quiñones, Luis Reyes, Julio Furch
Substitutes: José Hernández, José Abella, Gaddi Aguirre, Edgar Zaldívar, Bryan Garnica, Pablo González, Gonzalo Maroni, Franco Troyansky, Jonathan Herrera, Christopher Trejo
Coach: D. Cocca
Match Stats:
| Santos Laguna | 1 - 1 | Atlas |
|---|---|---|
| 58% | Ball Possession | 42% |
| 13 | Total Shots | 11 |
| 4 | Shots On Target | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Off Target | 7 |
| 4 | Blocked Shots | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Inside Box | 6 |
| 8 | Shots Outside Box | 5 |
| 4 | Corner Kicks | 5 |
| 2 | Offsides | 0 |
| 14 | Fouls | 13 |
| 0 | Yellow Cards | 0 |
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 |
| 1 | Goalkeeper Saves | 3 |
| 431 | Passes | 297 |
| 324 (75%) | Accurate Passes | 199 (67%) |
Match events
0' KICKOFF!
25' GOAL! Scored by J. Quiñones (Atlas)
46' Substitution: A. Cervantes for D. Valdés (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: J. Ávila for F. Gorriarán (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: H. Rodríguez for J. Carrillo (Santos Laguna)
60' Substitution: J. Ocejo for A. Ibargüen (Santos Laguna)
65' Substitution: J. Quiñones for J. Herrera (Atlas)
68' GOAL! Scored by F. Torres (Santos Laguna)
73' Substitution: J. Furch (Atlas)
77' Substitution: R. Prieto for I. Jeraldino (Santos Laguna)
84' Substitution: Jesús Alberto Angulo for F. Troyansky (Atlas)
90' Match whistled off
—
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Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
It really does, I swear!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
[Liga MX - 2021/2022]
#Santos Laguna 1-1 Atlas
Match Info:
Lineups:
Santos Laguna - 5-3-2
Starting XI: Carlos Acevedo, Carlos Orrantia, Hugo Rodriguez, Félix Torres, Dória, David Andrade, Ronaldo Prieto, Alan Cervantes, Jose Avila, Jesús Ocejo, Juan Otero
Substitutes: Gibran Lajud, Jonathan Díaz, Ismael Govea, Edgar Games, Fernando Gorriarán, Andrés Ibargüen, Jesús Isijara, Diego Valdés, Jordan Carillo Rodriguez, Ignacio Jeraldino
Coach: G. Almada
Atlas - 4-2-3-1
Starting XI: Camilo Vargas, Diego Barbosa, Anderson Santamaría, Hugo Nervo, Jesús Angulo, Ángel Márquez, Aldo Rocha, Jairo Torres, Julián Quiñones, Luis Reyes, Julio Furch
Substitutes: José Hernández, José Abella, Gaddi Aguirre, Edgar Zaldívar, Bryan Garnica, Pablo González, Gonzalo Maroni, Franco Troyansky, Jonathan Herrera, Christopher Trejo
Coach: D. Cocca
Match Stats:
| Santos Laguna | 1 - 1 | Atlas |
|---|---|---|
| 58% | Ball Possession | 42% |
| 13 | Total Shots | 11 |
| 4 | Shots On Target | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Off Target | 7 |
| 4 | Blocked Shots | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Inside Box | 6 |
| 8 | Shots Outside Box | 5 |
| 4 | Corner Kicks | 5 |
| 2 | Offsides | 0 |
| 14 | Fouls | 13 |
| 0 | Yellow Cards | 0 |
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 |
| 1 | Goalkeeper Saves | 3 |
| 431 | Passes | 297 |
| 324 (75%) | Accurate Passes | 199 (67%) |
Match events
0' KICKOFF!
25' GOAL! Scored by J. Quiñones (Atlas)
46' Substitution: A. Cervantes for D. Valdés (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: J. Ávila for F. Gorriarán (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: H. Rodríguez for J. Carrillo (Santos Laguna)
60' Substitution: J. Ocejo for A. Ibargüen (Santos Laguna)
65' Substitution: J. Quiñones for J. Herrera (Atlas)
68' GOAL! Scored by F. Torres (Santos Laguna)
73' Substitution: J. Furch (Atlas)
77' Substitution: R. Prieto for I. Jeraldino (Santos Laguna)
84' Substitution: Jesús Alberto Angulo for F. Troyansky (Atlas)
90' Match whistled off
Player Match Stats
Santos Laguna
| Player | Rating | Mins | Shots | Tackles | Passes | Duels | Dribbles |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Félix Torres | 8 | 94 | 1 | 0 | 46 | 14 | 0 |
| Diego Valdés | 7 | 49 | 2 | 0 | 34 | 13 | 2 |
| Dória | 6.9 | 94 | 2 | 2 | 33 | 7 | 0 |
| David Andrade | 6.9 | 94 | 1 | 0 | 31 | 5 | 2 |
| Ronaldo Prieto | 6.9 | 78 | 0 | 2 | 46 | 9 | 0 |
| Jose Avila | 6.7 | 45 | 0 | 2 | 18 | 6 | 1 |
| Ignacio Jeraldino | 6.7 | 16 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 0 |
| Juan Otero | 6.6 | 94 | 1 | 1 | 29 | 14 | 4 |
| Carlos Acevedo | 6.5 | 94 | 0 | 0 | 26 | 0 | 0 |
| Carlos Orrantia | 6.5 | 94 | 1 | 3 | 27 | 10 | 1 |
| Alan C |
[Liga MX - 2021/2022]
#Santos Laguna 1-1 Atlas
Match Info:
Lineups:
Santos Laguna - 5-3-2
Starting XI: Carlos Acevedo, Carlos Orrantia, Hugo Rodriguez, Félix Torres, Dória, David Andrade, Ronaldo Prieto, Alan Cervantes, Jose Avila, Jesús Ocejo, Juan Otero
Substitutes: Gibran Lajud, Jonathan Díaz, Ismael Govea, Edgar Games, Fernando Gorriarán, Andrés Ibargüen, Jesús Isijara, Diego Valdés, Jordan Carillo Rodriguez, Ignacio Jeraldino
Coach: G. Almada
Atlas - 4-2-3-1
Starting XI: Camilo Vargas, Diego Barbosa, Anderson Santamaría, Hugo Nervo, Jesús Angulo, Ángel Márquez, Aldo Rocha, Jairo Torres, Julián Quiñones, Luis Reyes, Julio Furch
Substitutes: José Hernández, José Abella, Gaddi Aguirre, Edgar Zaldívar, Bryan Garnica, Pablo González, Gonzalo Maroni, Franco Troyansky, Jonathan Herrera, Christopher Trejo
Coach: D. Cocca
Match Stats:
| Santos Laguna | 1 - 1 | Atlas |
|---|---|---|
| 58% | Ball Possession | 42% |
| 13 | Total Shots | 11 |
| 4 | Shots On Target | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Off Target | 7 |
| 4 | Blocked Shots | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Inside Box | 6 |
| 8 | Shots Outside Box | 5 |
| 4 | Corner Kicks | 5 |
| 2 | Offsides | 0 |
| 14 | Fouls | 13 |
| 0 | Yellow Cards | 0 |
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 |
| 1 | Goalkeeper Saves | 3 |
| 431 | Passes | 297 |
| 324 (75%) | Accurate Passes | 199 (67%) |
Match events
0' KICKOFF!
25' GOAL! Scored by J. Quiñones (Atlas)
46' Substitution: A. Cervantes for D. Valdés (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: J. Ávila for F. Gorriarán (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: H. Rodríguez for J. Carrillo (Santos Laguna)
60' Substitution: J. Ocejo for A. Ibargüen (Santos Laguna)
65' Substitution: J. Quiñones for J. Herrera (Atlas)
68' GOAL! Scored by F. Torres (Santos Laguna)
73' Substitution: J. Furch (Atlas)
77' Substitution: R. Prieto for I. Jeraldino (Santos Laguna)
84' Substitution: Jesús Alberto Angulo for F. Troyansky (Atlas)
90' Match whistled off
Player Match Stats
Santos Laguna
| Player | Rating | Mins | Shots | Tackles | Passes | Duels | Dribbles |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Félix Torres | 8.2 | 98 | 1 | 0 | 49 | 15 | 0 |
| Dória | 6.9 | 98 | 2 | 2 | 35 | 8 | 0 |
| David Andrade | 6.9 | 98 | 1 | 0 | 32 | 5 | 2 |
| Ronaldo Prieto | 6.9 | 78 | 0 | 2 | 46 | 9 | 0 |
| Diego Valdés | 6.9 | 53 | 2 | 0 | 36 | 14 | 2 |
| Jose Avila | 6.7 | 45 | 0 | 2 | 18 | 6 | 1 |
| Ignacio Jeraldino | 6.7 | 20 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 0 |
| Juan Otero | 6.6 | 98 | 1 | 1 | 29 | 15 | 4 |
| Carlos Orrantia | 6.5 | 98 | 1 | 3 | 28 | 10 | 1 |
| Alan Cervantes | 6.5 | 45 | 0 | 0 | 31 | 7 | 1 |
| Fe |
#[Liga MX - 2021/2022] #FT: 90' Santos Laguna 1-1 Atlas
Match Info:
Date: August 18, 2021
Time: 19:00 (US/Central)
Venue: Estadio Nuevo Corona
Recent form
Santos Laguna: DDW
Atlas: WWD
Lineups:
Santos Laguna - 5-3-2
Starting XI: Carlos Acevedo, Carlos Orrantia, Hugo Rodriguez, Félix Torres, Dória, David Andrade, Ronaldo Prieto, Alan Cervantes, Jose Avila, Jesús Ocejo, Juan Otero
Substitutes: Gibran Lajud, Jonathan Díaz, Ismael Govea, Edgar Games, Fernando Gorriarán, Andrés Ibargüen, Jesús Isijara, Diego Valdés, Jordan Carillo Rodriguez, Ignacio Jeraldino
Coach: G. Almada
Atlas - 4-2-3-1
Starting XI: Camilo Vargas, Diego Barbosa, Anderson Santamaría, Hugo Nervo, Jesús Angulo, Ángel Márquez, Aldo Rocha, Jairo Torres, Julián Quiñones, Luis Reyes, Julio Furch
Substitutes: José Hernández, José Abella, Gaddi Aguirre, Edgar Zaldívar, Bryan Garnica, Pablo González, Gonzalo Maroni, Franco Troyansky, Jonathan Herrera, Christopher Trejo
Coach: D. Cocca
Match Stats:
| Santos Laguna | 1 - 1 | Atlas |
|---|---|---|
| 58% | Ball Possession | 42% |
| 13 | Total Shots | 11 |
| 4 | Shots On Target | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Off Target | 7 |
| 4 | Blocked Shots | 2 |
| 5 | Shots Inside Box | 6 |
| 8 | Shots Outside Box | 5 |
| 4 | Corner Kicks | 5 |
| 2 | Offsides | 0 |
| 14 | Fouls | 13 |
| 0 | Yellow Cards | 0 |
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 |
| 1 | Goalkeeper Saves | 3 |
| 431 | Passes | 297 |
| 324 (75%) | Accurate Passes | 199 (67%) |
Match events
0' KICKOFF!
25' GOAL! Scored by J. Quiñones (Atlas)
46' Substitution: A. Cervantes for D. Valdés (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: J. Ávila for F. Gorriarán (Santos Laguna)
46' Substitution: H. Rodríguez for J. Carrillo (Santos Laguna)
60' Substitution: J. Ocejo for A. Ibargüen (Santos Laguna)
65' Substitution: J. Quiñones for J. Herrera (Atlas)
68' GOAL! Scored by F. Torres (Santos Laguna)
73' Substitution: J. Furch (Atlas)
77' Substitution: R. Prieto for I. Jeraldino (Santos Laguna)
84' Substitution: Jesús Alberto Angulo for F. Troyansky (Atlas)
90' Match whistled off
—
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