Johnny Jeter Puns

Timothy Tubow

what's going on everyone. hope ya'll are doing well. i have been working on this Packer all time team for quite some time and tweaking things here and there. i think it is finally time to display what i think, is the greatest Packer all time team conceivable. before you take a peak, a few things i need to clarify.

1. you'll notice guys like Hornung and Taylor are FBs. most people nowadays would say they would be a RB in a modern NFL offense but i was technical about it and put them at FB. further down the depth chart you might notice similar instance with other guys like John Brockington etc. i had a tough time pinning down some guys exact position so most of the time, i would put them at the position PFR had them at
2. similarly to point one, my all time team runs a 4-3 defense so some guys who usually play ILB, are lined up at MLB. i figured this wouldn't be a big deal. also, some FSs may be at SSs and some LCBs may be at RCB etc. i tried to be as accurate as possible, but some guys might not be at their actual position in the secondary or in the linebacker corp. sorry about that
3. i based these rankings off of a lot of things such as, accolades, stats, impact with the packers, dominance during their era of football ( you might see smaller o-line men sneak onto the list but they dominated their era) longevity of their time with the packers etc. you wont see guys who had one great season with GB make it onto the team or guys who balled out for other teams after or before their time with GB make it either. all in all, i tried to give credit to everyone who's deserving and has suited up for the 100+ years the Pack has been around.
4. this is all just my opinion. not tryna argue or anything such as that with anyone as these rankings/ this team was made by me and i tried to give credit to the best of the best, but at the end of the day i know not everyone will agree.
5. this point only really applies to one player, but once a player makes an appearance at one position, they can't also be put at another position. so Don Hutson is ONLY at WR and not at DB. i know he was a spectacular defender and pass catcher in his day, but i decided to keep things simple and only have him at WR.

EDIT :

1. put Linsley at C4 and took Bowman out 2 put Sean Jones in at RE4 and Pickett out
2. put Hawk in at MLB4 and took Noble out 4 put LeRoy at SS2 and Tramon at RCB3, took out Cecil
3. took Canadeo out at RB4 and put in Jonesy
4. took Kramer out at TE4 and put in Ed West
5. t

ANIMALS

Dogs and Cats

• 3-Dog (Willie Davis) AKA Comet
• Action Dog (Dave Cash)
• Big Cat (Johnny Mize) HOF
• Big Puma (Lance Berkman)
• The Cat (Harry Brecheen)
• Bird Dog (Corey Knebel)
• Bulldog (Orel Hershiser, Jim Bouton)
• Crime Dog (Fred McGriff)
• Doggie (Tony Perez) AKA Big Dog
• El Gatito (Félix Millán)
• El Gato (Andres Galarraga)
• Kitty (William Bransfield)
• Mad Dog (Greg Maddux) HOF
• Mr. Tiger (Al Kaline) HOF
• O-Dog (Orlando Hudson)
• One Dog (Lance Johnson)
• Red Dog (Mike Redmond)
• Rem Dawg (Jerry Remy)
• Tony the Tiger (Tony Phillips)
• Wonder Dog (Rex Hudler)

Bears and Horses

• Bear (Kyle Barraclough)
• The Big Bear (Marcell Ozuna, Mike Garcia)
• Big Donkey (Adam Dunn)
• El Caballo (Carlos Lee)
• El Caballo Loco (Angel Pagan)
• El Oso Blanco (Evan Gattis)
• Harry the Horse Anderson
• Ice Horse (Michael Chavis)
• Iron Horse (Lou Gehrig) HOF AKA Biscuit Pants
• Iron Pony (Sandy Alomar, Sr)
• Mule (Milt Watson)
• Panda (Pablo Sandoval)
• The Polar Bear (Pete Alonso)
• Pony (Jimmy Ryan)
• Sugar Bear (Larvell Blanks)
• Wild Horse (Yasiel Puig)
• Wild Horse of the Osage (Pepper Martin)

Other Land Animals

• Ape (Kevin Appier)
• The Bison (Matt Kemp)
• Baby Bull (Orlando Cepeda) HOF
• Baby Giraffe (Brandon Belt)
• Big Groundhog (Orval Overall)
• The Buffalo (Wilson Ramos)
• The Bull (Greg Luzinski)
• Coyote (Don Wert)
• Deer Foot (Harry Bay)
• El Toro (Fernando Valenzuela, Pedro Alvarez)
• Happy Rabbit (Stan Rojek)
• Jackrabbit (Jack Gilbert)
• Kangaroo (Davy Jones)
• Monkey (Pete Hotaling)
• Moose (Mike Mussina) HOF
• Mouse (Ed Lyons)
• The Old Fox (Clark Griffith) HOF
• Pig (Frank House)
• Porky (Hal Reniff)
• Rabbit Maranville HOF
• The Rat (Gary Gaetti)
• Reindeer (Rick Auerbach)
• Reindeer Bill (Bill Killefer)
• Rhino (Ryan Klesko)
• Squirrel (Jeff McNeil) AKA Flying Squirrel
• The Wild Elk of the Wasatch (Ed Heusser)
• Wonder Hamster (Matt Stairs)

Birds

• Arkansas Hummingbird (Lon Warneke)
• Bald Eagle (Frank Isbell)
• The Bird (Mark Fidrych)
• Chicken (Craig Counsell) AKA The Chicken Man
• The Condor (Chris Sale, Michael Saunders)
• The Crow (Frankie Crosetti)
• Cuckoo (Charlie Jamieson)
• Ducky (Joe Medwick) HOF
• The Florida Flamingo (Red Causey)
• Goose (Rich) Gossage HOF
• The Gray Eagle (Tris Speaker) HOF
• The Grey Flamingo (Tom Brennan)
• Hawk (Andre Dawson) HOF
• Muddy Chicken (Dustin Pedroia)
• Parakeet (Tito Fuentes)
• Penguin (Ron Cey)
• Road Runner

Yesterday's Standout Hitters

^stats ^for ^games ^since ^04/30/2021

 

AAA Standouts

Wander Franco 1/3 BB -- [SS, 20, AAA E - TB] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Wander Franco)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Wander Franco&l=en)]
.314 BA .369 OBP .237 ISO 118 AB 5 HR 4 SB 7 BB% 10 K%

Tucupita Marcano 2/5 2B 3B BB K -- [LF, 21, AAA W - SD] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Tucupita Marcano)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Tucupita Marcano&l=en)]
.173 BA .279 OBP .154 ISO 52 AB 13 BB% 13 K%

Ryan Vilade 2/4 2B HR K -- [LF, 22, AAA W - COL] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Ryan Vilade)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Ryan Vilade&l=en)]
.289 BA .352 OBP .140 ISO 114 AB 2 HR 4 SB 8 BB% 15 K%

Luis Campusano 3/4 2B HR BB -- [C, 22, AAA W - SD] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Luis Campusano)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Luis Campusano&l=en)]
.237 BA .324 OBP .144 ISO 97 AB 2 HR 10 BB% 20 K%

Jonathan Arauz 2/4 HR BB K -- [2B, 22, AAA E - BOS] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Jonathan Arauz)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Jonathan Arauz&l=en)]
.183 BA .277 OBP .127 ISO 71 AB 2 HR 1 SB 12 BB% 22 K%

Jeter Downs 1/5 BB 2K SB -- [SS, 22, AAA E - BOS] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Jeter Downs)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Jeter Downs&l=en)]
.241 BA .337 OBP .133 ISO 83 AB 3 HR 8 SB 10 BB% 35 K%

Keibert Ruiz 1/3 2BB -- [C, 22, AAA W - LAD] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Keibert Ruiz)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Keibert Ruiz&l=en)]
.290 BA .353 OBP .290 ISO 62 AB 3 HR 8 BB% 11 K%

Nolan Jones 3/5 3 2B -- [3B, 23, AAA E - CLE] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Nolan Jones)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Nolan Jones&l=en)]
.194 BA .322 OBP .122 ISO 98 AB 1 HR 2 SB 14 BB% 37 K%

Jahmai Jones 1/3 BB SB -- [2B, 23, AAA E - BAL] - [[F](http://www.fangraphs.com/players.aspx?lastname=Jahmai Jones)] [[T](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q=Jahmai Jones&l=en)]
.303 BA .400 OBP .333 ISO 33 AB 2 HR 1 SB 12 BB% 12 K%

Joey Bart 2/4 HR B

Arizona Diamondbacks:

• 20 - Luis Gonzalez, LF (2010)

• 51 - Randy Johnson, P (2015)

Atlanta Braves:

• 3 - Dale Murphy, OF (1994)

• 6 - Bobby Cox, Mgr (2011)

• 10 - Chipper Jones, 3B (2013)

• 21 - Warren Spahn, P (1965)

• 29 - John Smoltz, P (2012)

• 31 - Greg Maddux, P (2009)

• 35 - Phil Niekro, P (1984)

• 41 - Eddie Mathews, 3B (1969)

• 44 - Hank Aaron, RF (1977)

• 47 - Tom Glavine, P (2010)

Baltimore Orioles:

• 4 - Earl Weaver, Coach/Mgr (1982)

• 5 - Brooks Robinson, 3B (1978)

• 8 - Cal Ripken, Jr., SS/3B (2001)

• 20 - Frank Robinson, RF/Coach/Mgr (1972)

• 22 - Jim Palmer, P (1985)

• 33 - Eddie Murray, 1B/DH (1998)

Boston Red Sox:

• 1 - Bobby Doerr, 2B/Coach (1988)

• 4 - Joe Cronin, SS/Mgr/GM (1984)

• 6 - Johnny Pesky, SS/3B/Mgr/Coach (2008)

• 8 - Carl Yastrzemski, LF/1B/Coach (1989)

• 9 - Ted Williams, LF (1984)

• 14 - Jim Rice, LF/DH/Coach (2009)

• 26 - Wade Boggs, 3B (2016)

• 27 - Carlton Fisk, C (2000)

• 34 - David Ortiz, DH/1B (2017)

• 45 - Pedro Martinez, RHP (2015)

Chicago Cubs:

• 10 - Ron Santo, 3B (2003)

• 14 - Ernie Banks, SS/1B (1982)

• 23 - Ryne Sandberg, 2B (2005)

• 26 - Billy Williams, LF (1987)

• 31 - Ferguson Jenkins, P (2009)

• 31 - Greg Maddux, P (2009)

Chicago White Sox:

• 2 - Nellie Fox, 2B (1976)

• 3 - Harold Baines, RF/DH/Coach (1989)

• 4 - Luke Appling, SS/Coach (1975)

• 9 - Minnie Miñoso, LF/Coach (1983)

• 11 - Luis Aparicio, SS (1984)

• 14 - Paul Konerko, 1B (2015)

• 16 - Ted Lyons, P/Manager (1987)

• 19 - Billy Pierce, P (1987)

• 35 - Frank Thomas, 1B/DH (2010)

• 56 - Mark Buehrle, P (2017)

• 72 - Carlton Fisk, C (1997)

Cincinnati Reds:

• 1 - Fred Hutchinson, Mgr (1964)

• 5 - Johnny Bench, C (1984)

• 8 - Joe Morgan, 2B (1998)

• 10 - Sparky Anderson, Mgr (2005)

• 11 - Barry Larkin, SS (2012)

• 13 - Dave Concepción, SS (2007)

• 14 - Pete Rose, OF/IF/Mgr (2016)

• 18 - Ted Kluszewski, 1B/Coach (1998)

• 20 - Frank Robinson, OF (1998)

• 24 - Tony Pérez, 1B/Mgr (2000)

Cleveland Indians:

• 3 - Earl Averill, CF (1975)

• 5 - Lou Boudreau, SS/Mgr (1970)

• 14 - Larry Doby, CF/Coach (1994)

• 18 - Mel Harder, SP/Coach (1990)

• 19 - Bob Feller, SP/Coach (1956)

• 20 - Frank Robinson, OF/Mgr (2017)

• 21 - Bob Lemon, P/Coach (1998)

• 25 - Jim Thome, 1B/DH/3B (2018)

• 455 - The Fans (2001)

Colorado Rockies:

• 17 - Todd Helton, 1B (2014)

• KSM - Keli McGregor, President (2010)

Detroit Tigers:

• Ty Cobb, CF/Mgr (2000)

• Mickey Cochra

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

Well, toucan play at that game.

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

Welcome all to the 2021 edition of the /r/BaseballHoF ballot. The /r/BaseballHof is a project started by /u/MyCousinVinny to make our own version of the Baseball Hall of Fame.

This year’s ballot will feature everyone who remained on the ballot after the 2020 election as well as number of new comers.

You may vote for as many or as few candidates as you wish, it is entirely up to you. There is an abstain option when voting and please feel free to use it.

OK, on with the candidates:

Players' Ballot

Bobby Abreu

Brian McCann

Carlos Delgado

Chase Utley

Cliff Lee

David Wright

Hideki Matsui

Ian Kinsler

Jamie Moyer

Jason Giambi

Jeff Kent

Jimmy Rollins

Johan Santana

John Olerud

Johnny Damon

Jorge Posada

Lance Berkman

Mark Buehrle

Mark Teixeira

Nomar Garciaparra

Omar Vizquel

Paul Konerko

Prince Fielder

Roy Oswalt

Ryan Howard

Sammy Sosa

Tim Hudson

Tim Wakefield

Torii Hunter

Troy Tulowitzki

Newly Eligible Players

Alex Gordon

Coco Crisp

Daniel Murphy

Dustin Pedroia

Endy Chavez

Fernando Rodney

Hunter Pence

Jose Cruz, Jr.

Mark Grace

Mark Reynolds

Ryan Braun

Scott Kazmir

Ubaldo Jimenez

Contributors' Ballot

Abe Isoo

Al Campanis

Al Munro Elias

Bob Murphy

Bowie Kuhn

Bruce Froemming

Buck Showalter

Bud Fowler

Carl Stotz

Cito Gaston

Davey Johnson

Doc Adams

Don Baylor

Don Zimmer

Dusty Baker

Ewing Kaufman

Fay Vincent

Felipe Alou

Gene Autry

Gene Michael

Harry Wendelstedt

Hawk Harrelson

Jack McKeon

Jacques Doucet

Jerry Colangelo

Jerry Howarth

Joe Black

Joe Brinkman

Mike Ilitch

O.P. Caylor

Paul Beeston

Rod Dedeaux

Roland Hemond

Ron Shelton

Terry Collins

Tom Cheek

Tom Grieve

William Wheaton

[2021 Ballot] (https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdHTXGJji7_sKvq42JSb_AMraJGh78rqcyaL1PYcXTYGOV6aQ/viewform?usp=sf_link) will be open until 4/8/2021.

[RESULTS SPREADSHEET] (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1N-Vp3YpV1Cw6KQ6Y38uMWUSIGxX_AleNZc-GSSeWgI4/edit?usp=sharing)

[HOF PLAYERS & CONTRIBUTORS] (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XJZLo767PsBOV0py34hRIzV6j0pK3bmN9U8M8UM5CAM/edit?usp=sharing)

Here is the positional breakdown of our HOF so far.

Total HOFers - 359

HOF Players - 260

Hitters - 184

Pitchers - 77

C - 20

1B - 26

2B - 20

3B - 23

SS - 20

LF - 23

CF - 24

RF - 24

DH - 4

SP - 70

RP - 7

Starting Pitcher 70 - Addie Joss (1924), Amos Rusie (1958), Bert Blyleven (1992), Bob Feller

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

Bring a snack, this'll take some time

Recently, I've been kind of obsessed with the MLB amateur draft. That led me to make this post about the players who were traded before they played for the team that drafted them. But that wasn't enough. My penance is not yet complete. So, now, we're taking a look at all the players each team has drafted, and are seeing how good those teams would be. This is essentially a test of each team's scouting ability, regardless of what they did with the players once they signed.

The MLB amateur draft began in 1965. Since then, 10 of the 30 teams in the MLB have been added to the league as expansions:

• The Royals, Padres, Brewers (Pilots), and Nationals (Expos) in 1969
• The Mariners and Blue Jays in 1977
• The Rockies and Marlins in 1993, and
• The Diamondbacks and Rays in 1998

As a result, the ranking will almost certainly be biased in favour of the other 20 teams. So, grain of salt taken, let's begin

The Rules

1. Each team gets 9 players: 1 from offensive position, and 1 starting pitcher
   1. I also recorded the best 4 remaining starters, but these players did not factor into the rankings or bWAR totals
2. The "best" player at each position will be determined by career bWAR
   1. In the event of a tie, the winner will be decided by career fWAR
3. In order to qualify, a batter must have 500 PAs, and a starter must have 25 starts, as of Feb 1, 2021. These standards were slightly altered from the requirements for a batter (502 PAs) or a pitcher (162 IP) to be "qualified"
4. ONLY the team that signed a player has claim to them. If the player was not signed, they cannot be on that team
5. Each player's defensive position is determined by his designation in the "Positions" field on their baseballreference page (just below their name)
   1. If a player is declared to be an "Outfielder", he is eligible for all 3 outfield positions
6. The player must have joined the team via the June amateur draft (primary or secondary phase), the January amateur draft (primary or secondary phase), or the August Legion Draft. No International Free Agents or Amateur Free Agents

The Rankings

The teams are ranked by the cumulative bWAR of the best player at each position, from least to most WAR generated. Below the 9 best players are the best 4 remaining starters, and their respective career bWAR totals (these pitchers are not factored into the

Once taken place in a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a not-so-big lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both awfully gay Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the United States of America aka: The U.S.A which is a pristine nation of beauty, opposing to a country as the country of Somalia and Belgium, a part of Europe, which doesn't even have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness Book of chimkin nungets World Records (though anti-American and pro-European, a place of pitty and despair as Somalia is) which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that ma

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.