What do you call a Tony Stark Cosplay?
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Elton John rang me this morning & asked if I wanted to buy a Rolls Royce.
I asked what reg?
So he shouted DO YOU WANT TO BUY A ROLLS ROYCE?!
What would you call John Cleese juggling acorns?
Monty Python's flying quercus.
How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Stark’s parents?
If Tony Stark was born in ancient Italy
He would've called himself the Iron Roman.
I've got a joke about Elton John.
Jimmy Johns got my order wrong, I showed them the sandwich they gave me
I would date him in a heartbeat
Elton John wanted to fight me yesterday but I rescheduled to today.
Because Saturday night’s alright for fighting apparently.
What do you call a lizard that needs Tommy John surgery?
An Armisaur (Arm-is-sore)
What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?
What did Cynthia Lennon say when John remarried?
Ono!
What do a beach Port-a-John and Spongebob have in common?
I recently met a man with one leg named John.
He never told me the name of his other leg.
John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon.
He thought we'd all die in the long run.
Here's one I made up just now, in honour of Big John McCarthy
What do you call an entry in an arborists diary?
A log...
Did You Know That Dr. John Dolittle has a vegan brother named Jack?
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill
I’ve been watching the John Wayne Gacy documentary series on Peacock. Really creepy and fascinating. Surprisingly, despite being a cannibal murderer, he was a stickler for etiquette.
Anyone who arrived late to one of his dinner parties received a cold shoulder.
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
I've just been diagnosed with the dreaded peek-a-boo virus
I have been transferred to the ICU
Bran Stark sits down for breakfast and suddenly decides he no longer wants to be king.
In other words, bran flakes.
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
What do the Equalizer and John Wick have in common?
Both like schooling bad people (One with a pencil, one with a book)
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....
"It's a little bit runny".
What do you call a cheesy guy?
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce
He’s more of a Rocket Man.
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark’s family?
Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
“It’s a little fit bunny.”
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night
Turns out it was just saturday night fever
(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)
How much did it cost Hydra to kill Tony Stark's parents?
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.....
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