Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
I heard that 23% of the crew of Christopher Columbus' Santa Maria were named Juan
Which means there was a three to Juan ratio
I've got a joke about Elton John.
I once asked Tom Jones if he ever forgets the lyrics....
He said, it’s not unusual.
What’s Indiana Jones’s favorite rock band?
How come there are so many people named “Smith” and “Jones” in the phone book?
Because they all have phones.
I recently met a man with one leg named John.
He never told me the name of his other leg.
When did Christopher Columbus arrive in the USA?
John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon.
He thought we'd all die in the long run.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Christopher Nolan, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together
Nolan says he will direct.
DiCaprio says he will act.
And McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"
What did Casey Jones girlfriend say after she kissed Donatello
“Christopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth - and won a toaster.
I’ve been watching the John Wayne Gacy documentary series on Peacock. Really creepy and fascinating. Surprisingly, despite being a cannibal murderer, he was a stickler for etiquette.
Anyone who arrived late to one of his dinner parties received a cold shoulder.
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
John-Paul, Georgian Ringo.
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
Did you hear Christopher Cross retired as a musician to make time for his new business venture?
John Travolta tested negative for covid last night.
turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever!
What do the Equalizer and John Wick have in common?
Both like schooling bad people (One with a pencil, one with a book)
What's the difference between Christopher Reeve and Christopher Walken?
One is Walken the other one isn't
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
John felt like the odd one out at the Mohawk convention, maybe because of the language barrier?!
He’s not a native speaker after all
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....
"It's a little bit runny".
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce
He’s more of a Rocket Man.
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
When I was little my mom told me I could be anything I want to be...
Turns out identity theft is a crime.
Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:
So I just got back from watching the new Christopher Nolan movie. Here's my short review..
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
“It’s a little fit bunny.”
Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.....
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
