John Calley Puns

Definitive Murdaugh Mystery Timeline: 2015-2022. Final Update.

Original Timeline - https://www.reddit.com/r/MurdaughFamilyMurders/comments/qpmq0c/the_definitive_murdaugh_mystery_timeline/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Notes: * Edit from original Timeline. # New entry. [] indicate my comments. Hampton Probate Court has no online records.

Indictments:

AM & CES 4 November 2021 - https://www.scag.gov/about-the-office/news/ag-alan-wilson-announces-hampton-county-grand-jury-has-indicted-alex-murdaugh-and-curtis-smith/

AM - 19 November 2021 - https://www.scag.gov/about-the-office/news/state-grand-jury-issues-indictments-against-richard-alexander-murdaugh-for-breach-of-trust-obtaining-property-by-false-pretenses-money-laundering-computer-crimes-and-forgery/

AM - 9 December 2021 - https://www.scag.gov/about-the-office/news/ag-wilson-announces-state-grand-jury-issues-a-new-round-of-indictments-against-alex-murdaugh/ SC Courts Search: https://www.sccourts.org/caseSearch/

People:

SS - Stephen Smith (aged 19, found dead on country road, friend of 'Buster' Murdaugh. Mother Sandy, twin sister Stephanie, father Joel Fred Smith who died few months later)

GS - Gloria Sattersfield (aged 57, Murdaugh house keeper, died after fall at 'Moselle', sons - Tony Satterfield and Brian Harriot)*

AM - Richard Alexander Murdaugh Sr (aged 52, middle son of RM III, ex-lawyer, PMPED)

MM - Margaret Murdaugh, AM spouse (Maggie, age 52, murdered at 'Moselle'. b. 15 September 1968, d. 7 June 2021)*

BM - Richard Alexander “Buster” Murdaugh Jr (aged 26, eldest son of AM & MM).

PM - Paul Terry Murdaugh aka "Timmy" (youngest son of AM & MM, murdered age 22, at' Moselle'. b. 14 April 1999, d. 7 June 2021)

RM IV - Randolph Murdaugh

I'd learned one very simple trick: say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on "The Producers," said, "The curly-haired guy—he's funny looking. Fire him." He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, "Yes, he's gone. I'm firing him." I never did. But he forgot. After the screening of "Blazing Saddles," the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager's office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed "Blazing Saddles" from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, "No farting." I said, "It's out."

Interviewer: That's probably the most famous scene in the movie, the campfire scene.

I know. He said, "You can't punch a horse." I said, "You'll never see it again." I kept saying, "You're absolutely right. It's out!" Then, when he left, I crumpled up all his notes, and I tossed it in the wastepaper basket. And John Calley, who was running [production at] Warner Bros. at the time, said, "Good filing." That was the end of it. You say yes, and you never do it.

-from Mel Brooks writes it all down

Inspired by another post. Here's the names of the second graders at my son's school (aftercare too!)

Aaron

Abdallah

Abigail x2

Adilynn

Addisyn

Aiden

Ainsley

Aldrick

Alexander

Amanda

Amelia

Anabel

Annabelle

Axel

Baker

Bella

Benedict

Benjamin x2

Blaine

Blessing

Blessy

Broderick

Brooke

Bryden

Bryson

Caroline

Calley

Chloe x2

Cindy

Conser

Cora

Corrine

Damien

Desmond

Dexter

Dhruv

Dominic

Dylan

Emersyn

Ethan

Evan

Everly

Gavin

Giana

Gianni

Gio'Ell

Harper x4

Haley

Haven x2

Henley

Henry

Ibrahim

Isaac

Isabella

Jace x2

Jacob

Jacqueline

Ja'Karyan

Jameson x2

Jazmin

Ja'Zmyn

Jemima

Jerimiah

Jesse

Joanna

John x2

Joseph

Julia

Kate

Kayla

Kaylee

Kennedy

Knox

Larry

Lawson

Leah x2

Lena

Levi

London x2

Londyn

Mackenzie x2

Madelyn x3

Maven

McKinley

McKinsey

Memphis

Miracle

Nadia

Nathanael

Natalie x2

Nehamiah

Nicole

Oliver

Omar

Owen

Penelope

Peyton

Prathana

Presley x3

Preston

Prestyn

Ramon

Reed

Riella

River

Robin

Rowan x3

Ruby

Sadie

Sanaya

Selah

Seraphine

Shepard

Sofie

Sophia x2

Taeyang

Teryn

Timothy

Tobenna

Tyler

Vivian

Yoel

Zachariah

Zechariah

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

The first week of August, after watching a couple movies that had been on my watchlist for a while but I hadn’t seen, I decided that, given how many streaming services I subscribe to and how many movies had been sitting on my watchlist for far too long, I would watch at least one movie I hadn’t seen before every single day until end of the month and rate/rank them. Full disclosure, I liked pretty much everything on my list besides the bottom 2 films. I didn’t seek out films I didn’t think I’d like. And, obviously, these rankings are just my personal opinions, which is why I separated my rating by personal feelings and filmmaking quality. Ranking is determined entirely by personal rating however.

In August, I watched…

Chinatown (1974) (8/7/21) Dir. Roman Polanski Jack Nicholson Faye Dunaway John Huston Screenplay by Robert Towne Produced by Robert Evans Distribution by Warner Bros. Personal Rating - 8.5/10 Filmmaking Quality - 9/10

The Exorcist (1973) (8/7/21) Dir. William Friedkin Ellen Burstyn Jason Miller Linda Blair Max Von Sydow Screenplay by William Peter Blatty Produced by William Peter Blatty Distribution by Warner Bros. Personal Rating - 8/10 Filmmaking Quality - 9.5/10

Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) (8/9/21) Dir. Blake Edwards Audrey Hepburn George Peppard Patricia Neal Martin Balsam Buddy Ebsen Mickey Rooney Screenplay by George Axelrod Produced by Richard Shepard & Martin Jurow Distribution by Paramount Pictures Personal Rating - 9/10 Filmmaking Quality - 8/10

The Big Lebowski (1998) (8/11/21) Dir. Joel Coen Jeff Bridges John Goodman David Hiddelston Julianne Moore Philip Seymour Hoffman Steve Buscemi Screenplay by Joel & Ethan Coen Produced by Ethan Coen Distribution by Gramercy Pictures Personal Rating - 9/10 Filmmaking Quality - 9/10

Bonnie & Clyde (1967) (8/12/21) Dir. Arthur Penn Faye Dunaway Warren Beatty Michael J. Pollan Gene Hackman Estelle Parsons Gene Wilder Screenplay by David Newman & Robert Benton Produced by Warren Beatty Distribution by Warner Bros. Personal Rating - 8/10 Filmmaking Quality - 8/10

The Graduate (1967) (8/13/21) Dir. Mike Nichols Dustin Hoffman Anne Bancroft Katharine Ross Screenplay by Buck Henry & Calder Willingham Produced by Lawrence Truman Distribution by Embassy Pictures Personal Rating - 9.5/10 Filmmaking Quality - 10/10

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967) (8/14/21) Dir. Stanley Kramer Spencer Tracy Sidney Poitier Katharine Hepburn Katharine Houghton Roy Gle

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

In response to:

Kubrick’s Human Comedy from the May 13, 2021 issue

To the Editors:

Andrew Delbanco, in his review of David Mikics’s Stanley Kubrick: American Filmmaker [NYR, May 13], makes reference to several obsessions of Kubrick which never became actual films. He states that Kubrick for years “prepared fanatically for a film on Napoleon,” only to reluctantly abandon the project. (In the book, Mikics does not expand on how the wily Kubrick dealt with this setback.) There is an intriguing backstory here which I can relate on good authority because in the mid-1970s I worked closely with John Calley, the Warner Bros. head of production. John was the most brilliant—and the funniest—studio executive I met in my twenty-year peregrination in that fascinating business. Following Kubrick’s curdled relationship with the MGM brass—despite the massive box office success of 2001—Stanley looked for and found a muy simpatico studio partner in Calley, then newly installed at Warner. The Kubrick/Calley relationship began in 1971 with A Clockwork Orange and remained unbroken through the release of Eyes Wide Shut in 1999, the year of Kubrick’s death. The bravura performance of Clockwork—critically and commercially (despite its X rating)—persuaded John and Warner Bros. to let Stanley make anything the maestro wanted—well, almost anything.

When Kubrick told his new partner that he wanted his follow-on film to Clockwork to be based on the life of Napoleon, John went on a lengthy campaign to dissuade him. Calley was convinced that, following memorable film portrayals by Rod Steiger, Charles Boyer, and Herbert Lom (twice), Napoleon would be hard to make truly interesting to modern audiences—even for Stanley. After almost a year of back-and-forth, Kubrick grumpily bowed to this judgment. Kubrick later called John to reveal his next project, based on a somewhat obscure Thackeray novella, Barry Lyndon. Reading the book, John immediately saw the cinematic potential of the story’s sweeping eighteenth-century canvas and gave his greenlight to it despite an enormous—for its day—budget of $13 million.

After more than two years in secretive and elaborate production, a nearly completed Barry Lyndon was screened in London for John and a few other top Warner honchos. The word came back to us lower-level execs in New York and Burbank that it was “the most beautiful film ever m

I got fed up with no timeline so created one at the weekend - it sort of snowballed and I went down the rabbit-hole. Not sure how this will come out. I don't have links to sources, but I can assure you all that the dates and comments are as correct as can be. If there are any corrections or additions required then please post in the comments and I'll try to amend. Hopefully this will go in the FAQs.

P.S. I'm British so use the dd/mm/yy format, but I've written it 'long-hand' so as not to cause any confusion and I think it's easier to follow anyway.

Abbreviations.

People.

SS - Stephen Smith (aged 19, found dead on country road, friend of 'Buster' Murdaugh.)

GS - Gloria Sattersfield (aged 57, Murdaugh house keeper, sons - Tony Satterfield and Brian Harriot.)

AM - Richard Alexander Murdaugh Sr (aged 52, middle son of RM III, ex-lawyer, PMPED.)

MM - Margaret Murdaugh, AM spouse (Maggie, age 52, murdered at Moselle, rumoured to be separated and saw divorce lawyer.)

BM - Richard Alexander “Buster” Murdaugh Jr (aged 26, eldest son of AM & MM)

PM - Paul Terry Murdaugh aka "Timmy" (youngest son of AM & MM, age 22, murdered at 4147 Moselle Rd - 'Moselle'.)

RM IV - Randolph Murdaugh IV (AM brother, eldest son of RM III, lawyer, PMPED, suing AM for $46,500)

JMM - John Marvin Murdaugh (AM brother, youngest son of RM III, farm equipment (rental?) business.)

MB - Mallory Beach (aged 19, killed in boating incident, Archers Creek around 2:20 a.m, mother, Renee S Beach filed law suits against AM, RM III & BM, Boat - AM's 2006 Sea Hunt)

CC - Connor Cook (Friend of PM, on boat, suing AM for trying to make him the fall guy for boat incident, AM recommended CF to CC)

CES - Curtis Eddie Smith aka "Fast Eddie" (age 62, acquaintance of AM, alleged suicide insurance fraud with AM)

JP - John E. Parker (President of PMPED law firm, suing AM for $477,000)

CF - Corey Fleming (Attorney for GS sons in suit against AM whom AM recommended. Formerly of Moss, Kuhn & Fleming PA. Law licence currently suspended. Made $1.435million in fees - $168,333 in the Lloyd's payout and $1.27million in the Nautilus payout)

CW - Chad Westendorf (Banker for Palmetto State Bank, acted as attorney for GS sons, paid $30,000 fee, fee since returned.)

CBR III - CB Rowe III (Caretaker/farm manager at Moselle. Allegedly had fight with AM when fired.)

BTB - Barrat T Boulware (co-owned a lot of property with AM, formerly owned 'Moselle')

DH - Dick Harpootlian (South Carolin