Up-to-date as of July 3, 2021

July 2, 2021

The Forever Purge (Horror/With: Will Patton, Ana de la Reguera, Josh Lucas, Cassidy Freeman/1 hr 43 min/Universal Pictures/R/d: Everardo Gout/Wide)

The Boss Baby: Family Business (Animation/With: Alec Baldwin, Amy Sedaris, James Marsden, Jeff Goldblum/1 hr 47 min/Universal Pictures/PG/d: Tom McGrath/Wide)

The Phantom (Documentary/Greenwich Entertainment/Limited)

The God Committee (Thriller/With Kelsey Grammar, Janeane Garofalo, Julia Stiles//1 hr 38 min/Vertical Entertainment/d: Austin Stark/Limited)

Secret Agent Dingledorf and His Trusty Dog Splat (Family/With Loki, Darcy Donavan, Paul Johansson/1 hr 29 min/Integrity Releasing/PG/d: Billy Dickson/Limited)

Summer of Soul (...Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised) (Documentary/With: Lin-Manuel Miranda, Chris Rock, Stevie Wonder, Sly and the Family Stone/1 hr 57 min/Searchlight Pictures/PG-13/d: Questlove/Limited)

July 9, 2021

Black Widow (Fantasy/With: Scarlett Johansson, Florence Pugh, David Harbour, Rachel Weisz/2 hr 13 min/Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures/PG-13/d: Cate Shortland/Wide)

Summertime (Comedy/With: Austin Antoine, Marquesha Babers, Bryce Banks, Bene't Benton/1 hr 35 min/Good Deed Entertainment/R/d: Carlos López Estrada/Limited)

Meander (Horror/With Gaia Weiss, Peter Franzen, Romane Libert/1 hr. 27 min/Gravitas Ventures/d: Mathieu Turi/Limited)

July 14, 2021

Casanova, Last Love (History/With: Vincent Lindon, Stacy Martin, Valeria Golino, Julia Roy/1 hr 38 min/Cohen Media Group/d: Benoît Jacquot/Limited)

July 16, 2021

Escape Room: Tournament Of Champions (Horror/With: Taylor Russell, Logan Miller, Thomas Cocquerel, Holland Roden/1 hr 27 min/Sony Pictures Entertainment (SPE)/PG-13/d. Adam Robitel/Wide)

Space Jam: A New Legacy (Live Action-Animation/With: LeBron James, Zendaya, Don Cheadle, Sonequa Martin-Green/Warner Bros./PG/d: Malcolm D. Lee/Wide)

Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain (Documentary/Focus Features/1 hr 58 min/d: Morgan Neville/Limited)

How To Deter A Robber (Crime/With Vanessa Marano, Benjamin Papac, Abbie Cobb,

The following is a list of the longest-running SNL cast members by most regular episodes. The tally does not include specials, returning guest appearances, or time spent as a writer/crew member). Each count applies from the beginning to the end of each person's tenure and does not account for episodes where the players were absent (i.e. maternity leave, filming other projects, not getting in any sketches), except for cases like Franken and Parnell where players left and then came back. And the numbers for current cast members do include this season's finale, so no need to change them after tonight's over. Without further ado, here are the longest-running SNL cast members to span 100 episodes or more:

(Format is as follows – ranking ##. Cast Member: ## of regular episodes)

1. Kenan Thompson: 364
2. Darrell Hammond: 272
3. Seth Meyers: 253
4. Fred Armisen: 220
5. Al Franken: 201
6. Bobby Moynihan: 193
7. Kate McKinnon: 190
8. Tim Meadows: 188
9. Aidy Bryant, Cecily Strong: 185
10. Kevin Nealon: 173
11. Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney: 164
12. Jason Sudeikis: 163
13. Bill Hader: 160
14. Horatio Sanz: 158
15. Will Forte: 155
16. Phil Hartman: 153
17. Colin Jost: 151
18. Vanessa Bayer: 149
19. Chris Parnell, Maya Rudolph: 146
20. Chris Kattan: 145
21. Michael Che, Pete Davidson: 143
22. Amy Poehler: 142
23. Will Ferrell, Tracy Morgan, Andy Samberg: 139
24. Rachel Dratch: 137
25. Kristen Wiig: 135
26. Taran Killam, Jay Pharoah: 128
27. Dana Carvey: 125
28. Mike Myers: 122
29. Ana Gasteyer, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey: 119
30. Molly Shannon: 118
31. David Spade: 116
32. Victoria Jackson: 113
33. Dennis Miller: 111
34. Nasim Pedrad: 108
35. Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Laraine Newman, Gilda Radner: 106
36. Leslie Jones: 102
37. Mikey Day, Alex Moffat, Melissa Villaseñor: 101
38. Chris Farley: 100

There you have it, every SNL player who's lasted 100+ episodes or more! Feel free to let me know of any changes I need to make. Thanks!

San Franscisco 49ers

Division: NFC West

Record: 6-10 (3-3 in division, 4th place finish). Missed Playoffs.

General Manager: John Lynch (now a Hall of Famer)

Head Coach: Kyle Shanahan

Introduction

Hi, I’m N7_Anonymous_Guy, your favorite writer on this thread, and today’s 32Teams/32Days post is: the San Francisco 49ers.

I grew up a Niners fan in Southern California, born just a few months after Steve Young led the team to it’s 5th Super Bowl victory in SB XXIX. We haven’t won one since, so I’m sorry for whatever curse I brought upon the team, my bad. In more uplifting news, we’ll be taking a look at the disastrous mess that was our 2020 season. Before we proceed I would like to acknowledge u/Palikir, u/breezoop, and u/Zockman175 for their assistance and contributions to this review, thank you. Now let’s get to it!

2020 Season Statistics

Draft Picks

The 49IRs. A one-word summary of 2020 for the Niners.  The one category we won 1st place in the NFL? Most players on the Injured Reserve of course. Per Spotrac.com, the 49ers finished the season with 19 players on IR- $78,230,423 or 37.09% of the salary cap. Throughout the season we had a total of 54 players hurt (keep in mind an NFL roster is 53 men).  At some point in the season (and often for numerous games) we were missing our: QB1, WR1, WR2, RB1, RB2, TE1, TE2, LT, C, RG, CB1, CB2, SS, FS, DE1, DE2, their backups, and the damn water boy. I’m pretty sure I even sustained a high ankle sprain getting off the couch one game. You think I’m exaggerating the injuries? It got so bad that even the team’s MRI truck broke down.  Not to make excuses, but how does a team even attempt to compete with such adversity?

Yet, take a look at those statistics again – not too bad for a hollow shell of a team. On the season we were only outscored by 14 points (opponents scored 28 points on INT/FUM returned for TDs, more on that later). The defense, though missing Nick Bosa and Richard Sherman, ranked 5th in total yds and 17th in points allowed (tied 10t

1. In "Gift Wrap," when a bunch of fake blood squirted into Leslie Jones' mouth during a sketch, and she almost threw up everywhere.
2. In "Uncle Ben," when Dave Chappelle broke the fourth wall and spoke directly to the camera, making Pete Davidson laugh so hard that his fake teeth came out.
3. In "Inside the Beltway," when Aidy Bryant's wardrobe person got the wrong cue and accidentally walked on in the middle of the live sketch, and Aidy couldn't keep it together.
4. In "Extremely Stupid," when Candice Bergen's character was supposed to be much smarter than Gilda Radner's, but Candice kept messing up, and it played perfectly into the script.
5. In "The Californians," when Fred Armisen delivered terrible news, but Bill Hader completely lost it and kept laughing throughout the six-minute sketch.
6. In "Close Encounter," when Kate McKinnon kept making Ryan Gosling break because of her absolutely wild alien abduction story.
7. In "New Orleans Vacation," when Heidi Gardner's ridiculous vacation story kept making James McAvoy crack up.
8. In "Van Down By the River," when Chris Farley dove onto the table and broke it, and no one could hold in their shock or laughter.
9. In "Cast List," when Will Ferrell played an inappropriate and overbearing drama teacher, but all of his students kept laughing at how ridiculous the whole thing was.
10. In "Super Showcase Spokesmodels," when Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph couldn't contain their laughter while they announced fake game show prizes.
11. In "Maine Justice," when Jason Sudeikis kept playing around with his character's Southern accent, and Jamie Foxx just couldn't take it anymore.
12. In "Corksoakers," when the whole sketch was a little NSFW, and Janet Jackson tried so hard to keep a straight face.
13. In "Dr. Beaman's Office: Test Results," when Tim Meadows unexpectedly came onstage, which made it impossible for Will Ferrell to deliver bad news to his patients with a straight face.
14. In "Smokery Farms," when Kate McKinnon and Aidy Bryant had to talk about raw meats for five minutes, but the terrible smell made them absolutely lose it.
15. In "Black Panther New Scene," when Kenan Thompson played a misfit uncle at the cookout in Djalia, but he kept making Leslie Jones and Sterling K. Brown crack up.
16. In "Escorts," when Emily Blunt had to hide under a lampshade because she couldn't say her "oopsie-doopsie" catchphrase without breaking character.
17. In "Diner Lobster," when Pete Davidson kept breaking during John M

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Going to start this off by thanking both /u/TrustyJAID and /u/TeroTheTerror. Tero for showing me how to use the NHL API, and Trusty for helping me fix my absolute garbage python code.

Penalty +/-

Shoutout to /u/TheFifthsWord, /u/ViceroyFizzlebottom, /u/_Axel and /u/damnatio_memoriae for the suggestions in the first penalties thread I made that lead to this. Penalty +/- as a stat is greatly affected by Major and Match penalties, but this is the top 15 and bottom 15 for the stat. This stat is simply PIM Drawn - PIM Taken. The first table is for 2017-2021, and the second is for this year alone.

Top and Bottom 15 for Penalty +/-, 2017-2021, Minimum 100 Games Played

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

Well, toucan play at that game.

Argon does not react.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

/r/Hockey NHL Power Rankings Week Feb 15, 2021 - Feb 21, 2021

Thank You

Thank you to all of the volunteers doing the power rankings. Each ranker has their own system and have their own reasonings and analyis. It truly is a lot of work.

Rankers

>!/u/admiralfartmore /u/hrint /u/offraindrop13 /u/hockeycross /u/sandman730 /u/mdvsronamisinfo /u/robtangle /u/driftshade1 /u/silkeystev /u/gleb2006 /u/nodessb /u/rasera /u/maxpowr9 /u/blueferret98 /u/steckums /u/philbob99 /u/dabz14 /u/suqqa_madiq /u/eqoisbae /u/goldwhale /u/tacotruckz /u/acescope !<

Organizers

>!/u/lang14 /u/keepitsteadyidiots!<

Visualization

The visualization contains historical data, so you can see how your team has done over time. Hopefully, we can run this for many years in hopes that we can see the rise and fall of teams by /r/hockey opinion.

It automatically updates so feel free to bookmark. You can find it here

Process

How does this work? Throughout the course of the week rankers are able to access an app that will allow them to rank teams. At the end of the period we calculate the average ranking for every team and collate all of the analysis provided by rankers.

The app then generates a post that is first proofread and then posted to /r/hockey!

Rankings

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

San Franscisco 49ers

Division: NFC West

Record: 6-10 (3-3 in division, 4th place finish). Missed Playoffs.

General Manager: John Lynch (now a Hall of Famer)

Head Coach: Kyle Shanahan

Introduction

Hi, I’m N7_Anonymous_Guy, your favorite mod on the sub, and today’s 32Teams/32Days post is: the San Francisco 49ers.

I grew up a Niners fan in Southern California, born just a few months after Steve Young led the team to it’s 5th Super Bowl victory in SB XXIX. We haven’t won one since, so I’m sorry for whatever curse I brought upon the team, my bad. In more uplifting news, we’ll be taking a look at the disastrous mess that was our 2020 season. Before we proceed I would like to acknowledge u/Palikir, u/breezoop, and u/Zockman175 for their assistance and contributions to this review, thank you. Now let’s get to it!

2020 Season Statistics

Draft Picks

The 49IRs. A one-word summary of 2020 for the Niners.  The one category we won 1st place in the NFL? Most players on the Injured Reserve of course. Per Spotrac.com, the 49ers finished the season with 19 players on IR- $78,230,423 or 37.09% of the salary cap. Throughout the season we had a total of 54 players hurt (keep in mind an NFL roster is 53 men).  At some point in the season (and often for numerous games) we were missing our: QB1, WR1, WR2, RB1, RB2, TE1, TE2, LT, C, RG, CB1, CB2, SS, FS, DE1, DE2, their backups, and the damn water boy. I’m pretty sure I even sustained a high ankle sprain getting off the couch one game. You think I’m exaggerating the injuries? It got so bad that even the team’s MRI truck broke down.  Not to make excuses, but how does a team even attempt to compete with such adversity?

Yet, take a look at those statistics again – not too bad for a hollow shell of a team. On the season we were only outscored by 14 points (opponents scored 28 points on INT/FUM returned for TDs, more on that later). The defense, though missing Nick Bosa and Richard Sherman, ranked 5th in total yds and 17th in points allowed (tied 10th if you adjust for t

Niners Defense (NFL Rank)

2019: 6

2020: 21

Niners Run Offense (NFL Rank)

2019: 2

2020: 15

Everyone remember when we destroyed GB in the 2019 NFC Championship while only throwing the ball 8 times?

I've been thinking a lot about how the 49ers can dominate again in 2021 if we start our No. 3 pick at QB week 1. Disclaimer: Not saying the best outcome is to trade/sit Jimmy, but the question remains, if it does happen, how do we win week-in and week-out with our rookie.

It seems to me that the answer is to reclaim our dominance on defense and in our run game. No aspect of football operates in a vacuum, but if our D and run O are dominant again in 2021, we won't have to rely so much on the rookie QB to win games. Bolstering our run O with better OL and skill position players will obviously help our pass O too.

Here's a strategy. What do you think?

1. Trade Jimmy. As a conservative measure, say we get a 2021 2nd round pick for him. Fairly conservative here given we turned down Pats' offer for the same already. This gives us an additional 2nd round pick and $23.6M to go towards bolstering our team around the rookie (emphasis on D & run O).

.

2. The Draft:

a. Use our 2 2nd round picks on best available boundary CB and IOL (could be tier 1 OT who can compete w/Brunskill @RG in Yr 1).

b. Use 3rd or 4th round pick on RB to make up for attrition in the backfield (i.e., Coleman and McKinnon).

Using a mid-round pick on an RB is not characteristic for Shanahan, but rn Mostert is our only proven RB1 and struggled with injury last year. Maybe Wilson and/or Hasty perf will explode this year or we uncover another hidden jem, but imo relying on either possibility isn't a great strategy. Suggestion: Chuba Hubbard (sleeper pick after rushing for over 2k in 2019 followed by nagging ankle injury in 2020).

c. Most people (including me) think they can run a draft simulator and consistently pick guys in the 4-7th round who they project could be solid contributors/starters in the NFL. For example, Kary Vincent Jr. is projected my most people to be available in the 4th, and I think he could be a solid NFL slot corner... But whatever. Given the crap shoot of late round picks (and tbh the whole draft), let's shelf late round draft strategy and say pick the best available.

.

3. Free Agency

We have about $23M in 2021 cap space rn. Assume we extend Warner (-$4M), and our top 5 draft picks make the 53 man roster (-$10M). That leaves us with about $9M, not inclu

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too