Jewelled Nights Puns

My dad likes to toss things in the house. Ask him for a soda? Catch! Need mayo on your sandwich? Heads up! You get the idea.

Last night the family was in a rush to get dinner on the table, so needless to say food was flying. My younger brother was at the table catching things and putting them on the table while my dad stood at the fridge throwin' shit. I guess my dad threw the barbecue sauce to early because my brother wasn't ready and it made impact right in the family jewels.

Brother (on the floor): Dad, you got me right in the balls!

Dad: Oh I did?

Bro is now doing that thing where you're in pain and you're talking while gritting your teeth/ holding your breath.

Brother: Yes! The barbecue sauce. Right on the dick.

Dad: Well which was it, did I hit your balls or your dick?

Brother: Same difference!!

Dad: No no no, there's a vas deferens between the two.

Me: God damnit dad, that's perfect. I'm using that.

So here I am, using it.