Jeff Doucette Puns

Why is coach Greg always after Jeff Cavaliere? I get it when he calls out the BS in fitness industry but it seems like he's obsessed in putting down Jeff lately. It's starting to get annoying.

Side-by-side before and after pics

I am 27 years old and 6'4"

I bulked from 194 (skinny fat, regularly lifted for about a year) to 225 (fat) in 9 months. I was eating pretty “clean”, but just a lot of food. I sporadically tracked my calorie intake and I was eating close to 4,000 calories a day with 300g+ protein. I was gaining about 1-2lbs a week towards the end of the bulk. My training program was 7 days a week weight training (split: back and bicep, chest and tricep, legs, shoulders). Also, every other day 30-40 minutes MISS cardio (10 mile stationary bike, hill training mode). I was not logging my workouts but I was getting stronger and bigger (mostly fat). I decided to get serious with my diet and exercise routine and that’s when I noticed rapid progress.

I began a cut and my goal was to get to sub-10% bodyfat in 4-6 months for beach vacations this summer. I used this video by Jeremy Ethier to as a guide for how to plan my diet. I used this video by Jeff Nippard as a guideline for how to eat. For the entire diet I was eating 220g+ protein and 20-30% calories from fat, the rest was carbs. I shot for 1-2lb fat loss per week and when I reached a plateau I either 1: Reduced my daily calorie intake by 50-100, usually from carbs. OR 2: Increased my daily activity level by adding a small amount of LISS cardio. I weighed and cooked 95% of my food, and logged 100% of my food in MyFitnessPal. I weighed myself every morning and tracked my average weekly weight to see through daily fluctuations. I also stopped drinking alcohol completely during this cut.

I began a 6 day PPL routine and began logging my workouts to track my progress and ensure I was progressively overloading my lifts. I designed my own programs that looked like this and took deload weeks every 8-12 weeks and switched up the exercises afterwards. I was doing tons of volume in my routine, 20 sets per body part per week minimum. I would do 6-8 exercises per session and do the compounds first, doing 4 sets in the 8-10 rep range. Isolations came next with 3 sets in the 10-15 rep range. I would progressively overload by adding 1 or 2 reps each session until I reached the rep range ceiling. Then, up the weight and start at the bottom of the rep range. For example, a bench press one session would go Set

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Herman Cain Freedom Award current status of nominees and winners as of 11 Aug 2021.

The doctor says it terminal.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

I saw this video from the Barbell Medicine guys, and thought I would post it here for the users that need a valuable dose of reality.

[Insert pause for you to watch.]

Over the last year or so, the "maingaining" meme has really crept in and took hold on /r/gainit -- strange, because it's a subreddit specifically for people trying to build muscle and gain weight. This is a simple re-brand of the maintenance "recomp" idea that's been around for years.

YouTube "fitness personalities," led by people like Greg Doucette, but also including Jeff Cavaliere (Athlean X) and others, have pushed this hard. This is just the latest attempt to sell you an idea: That you can gain muscle and lose fat at the same time, never lose your abs, and build the body of your dreams without ever having a moment of discomfort.

It's wrong. It's a lie -- and remember, for the most part these people are trying to sell you something. A program, a cookbook, coaching -- or even just an idea. And it's a super appealing idea.

But don't be mistaken: Gaining weight, if you want to build any significant amount of muscle, is an unavoidable reality. A route you're going to have to take. So embrace it.

When myself and other regulars tell beginners not to "maingain" or "recomp," don't make the mistake of believing we're saying it's literally impossible for people to build muscle and lose fat at the same time. We acknowledge that it's possible in some cases. But even though it's possible for some, at some times, it's still the worst option for most people at most times.

I've been around this subreddit for a long time. The vast majority of users who are looking for help are skinny beginners who have had trouble gaining muscle. Most of the time we're talking a BMI of 22 or less, and/or like 160lb and under. And I get it: You've never been big. You've always been relatively lean. Or, if you're "skinny-fat," you're afraid of becoming just fat-fat. I get it.

But you are not going to "maingain" your way to being the most lean, ripped 160lb guy on the planet. And even if somehow you did, you're still going to be skinny! If you want to be muscular, you eventually need to add some size -- and to do that you need to bulk.

None of us are telling you to get fat. Follow the advice here and don't exceed a 500 Calorie surplus most of the time, and you shouldn't gain an excessive amount of fat. As you get more experienced you'll start to see dimi

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

But let me give it a shot.

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

Just because I know some people are very new to fitness I’ve created a very simple and short list of youtubers/influencers (for lack of better terms) that are actually worth their salt.

I’ll explain what they’re the most credible for, if they’re credible overall they’ll be listed as general. This list is a mixture of those who rely on wisdom and some knowledge and those who primarily rely on science. Most if not all focus on hypertrophy or strength as their specialization.

The criteria for selection was based on several factors: past experience, level of education, current training quality, athletes trained, tendency of click bait videos, current physique, and whether they teach current credible information or how much information the give that is similar to previous selection. But was also not limited to things such as tendency to have to recant statements, drama in the fitness realm, and general personality that lends to being credible.

• Mike Israetel/ Renaissance periodization— general *see note in the comment section section about the experience level.
• Jeff Nippard - general (relatively)
• Gshred aka Greg Doucette — hard like it is truths, nutrition older videos only, more recent ones are mainly for clickbait and contradict his more credible information from the past when he wasn’t focused on views watch with caution double check information before implementation ⚠️
• John meadows—technique, old school wisdom (RIP John).
• Derek from More Plates More Dates— science and results of PED use and supplement use.
• Charles Glass: recent find for me as well, he was an OG (literally holds the title of "godfather of bodybuilding") bodybuilder and now trains a lot of the big name bodybuilders and celebrities—old school training and technique but requires you to actually analyze and watch long format docu style videos.
• Stronger by Science — general
• Eric helms — general
• Dorian Hamilton —technique, currently trains big name winning bodybuilders
• Jonni Shreve — technique and PEDS, friends with Greg Doucette proceed with caution ⚠️
• Athlean X — technique, older videos more credible than recent ones, proceed with caution ⚠️
• Nick Strength and Power— general knowledge about bodybuilding as a sport.

This list isn’t exhaustive There are others—a lot of good others in fact but I kept it mainly to these for beginners to start. There is a wealth of information in these individuals that can help optimize your training in just about every regard.

Any experts, feel free to add some other important things, but these are just the basics. And correct me if I said anything wrong, because even though I’m 5 months in, I’m still fairly new.

1. Nutrition- whatever your goal may be when it comes to weight loss, this is the MOST important thing you should really be focused on. I hope everybody already knows this, but it’s true. The most important thing about nutrition, is finding healthy, nutritious foods that you actually enjoy eating. If you don’t know what healthy foods are, do some research.

You need enough protein so you body doesn’t lose muscle in the process. 0.8-1.0g of protein per pound of body weight should do the trick.

Because no matter how much you do cardio or lift weights, you can never out work a bad diet. It could take some time, but once you find what you enjoy, you’re more likely to keep it as a long term plan, rather than just losing the weight & going back to a bad diet.

2. You Need To Be In A Calorie Deficit- Everyone has a certain amount of calories their body needs to support their energy expenditure, this is called calorie maintenance. If you’re unsure of what you’re caloric maintenance level is, there’s some free calculators online to help figure it out. Its not 100% accurate, but it’s a good start and you can work it out from there.

Lets just say your maintenance level is 2300 calories in a day. So if you eat 2300 calories, you neither gain, or lose weight. A pound of fat is 3500 calories, so to lose roughly a pound of fat a week, you would need to consume 500 less calories daily, putting the calories you consume at 1800.

Do keep in mind, if you’re at a higher weight than most people, this is something you will have to adjust over time since the more weight you lose, the fewer calories your body will need to support energy expenditure.

3. Drink Water- studies show you should drink anywhere from a half ounce to an ounce of water per pound of body weight. Personally, I think it’s best to aim for close to a gallon of water everyday to keep that water weight off, but if it seems too much, start trying to consume around 80oz of water and work up to it. If you’re consistently drinking water, your body could easily lose up to 5 pounds just in water weight.

4. EXERCISE- you don’t have to go all out with weight lifting right off the bat. If you’re new, try getting in some exercise maybe 3-4 times a week around 20-30 minutes as a start. Don’t over work yourself in the beg

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments