[Door opens]
Hi Kaise hai aap?
Please sit down.
Aap pura description bhar diya hai na is file mein? Lets see.
Oh!! aapko addiction ho gaya hai? [soft voice] '
Yaha pe toh sirf likha hai, yeh addiction aapko financial problems create kar raha hai.
Kaise?
You need to elaborate more. Can you please explain in detail.
See if you don't explain in detail how can I understand.
Don't worry, go ahead.
Ok...
Aha...
Hmm.. [giggles]
Samajh gayi. Yeh sab kaha se suru hua?
Acha!!! Porn. Porn Most of the time yahi hota hai. Sab ladke starting mein Porn dekna kitna dangerous hai, samajte nahi hai. Starting mein to boht maza aa jata hai, baad mein dheere dheere uske bina reh nahna mushkil ho jata hai.
Lekin bohot kuch free mein mil jata hai internet pe, yeh paise ka kya chakkar hai? mein kuch samjhi nahi.
Dekho! jab tak pura detail apni therepist ke saath share nahi karoge, mein kaise solution de sakti hun?
Acha,
Toh thodi din mein same porn bore hone laga. Ok.. phir
Aur yeh customized content lene keliye tum paisa dena start kar di. [Laughs]
Now i got where you concerns are coming from. [giggles]
Yeh sab online mein he hota hai aaj kal?
Un Ladkiya kya kya leti hai? amazon gifts, paytm, gpay? Acha.
And?
Tum un ladkiyon se sex chat karte ho. ok our kuch kuch customised videos kareedte ho.
Hmm..
Alright!! Yeh kitne din se chal raha hai?
Ek saal !!? [continue taking notes on the file]
Dekho yeh sab hota hai, aur waise bhi tum itna bhi zyada time se nahi kar rahe ho. tum iss se bahar aa sakte ho. I can help you.
What else? [Looks into the file]
Let me ask you. Ek saal mein kitna karcha kar diya hai in ladkiyon pe?
Han? [Surprised voice]
OMG! That's more than what i make being a therapist
Tum itna saara paisa sirf uske videos our audios pe de rahe ho? Aur tum sirf unko internet se jante ho?
Hmm [Thinking]
See, I will be very professional on this and i can really help you.
I have a therapy plan. Yeh normal therapy se thoda different hai, lekin, if you are willing to trust me, hum yeh kar sakte hai. You don't need to waste so much money on the internet. ok?
Mein ek chota sa hypnosis try karti hun. aur dekhte hai tum kaise respond karoge.
All you need to do is completely relax and trust me ok... [Starts speaking in Sexy Hypnotic Voice]
Take a few deep breaths...
Inhale...
Exhale...
[Crosses her legs and opens her hair]
Inhale... Har ek saans ke saath meri aawaj tumhari dil aur dimmag me
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
At work, I have a workstation.
edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard
