But I can Samurais
He didn't get it though, so he just said "NaNi?!"
The examples are exactly as cringe-worthy as you'd expect.
Electile dysfunction
A hundred dollar bill.
This is my dad's favorite joke.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
Konichihuahua
Cyan-aura.
Tony
EDIT: Alternate Ending
I asked him if he had a 123.
Confused, he looked at me and asked what I meant.
I stared back and said, you have an ichi ni san.
My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.
I said, "Sure I can."
They relax in the Yakuzzi.
Walked into the kitchen to hear my dad talking to himself. Realized I caught him mid conversation with a carton of soy milk.
Soy Milk: nothing it's soy milk.
Dad: Hola milk. ¡Soy Dad!
My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan and came in the mid 80's. We've always owned restaurants (currently have a Japanese steak house this is important for later) so their English isn't all that bad and has improved over time. I've never gotten a single dad joke from him. Ever.
Que yesterday we are driving home from a family dinner to celebrate his birthday. We all get into the vehicle and my mom says in Chinese "You've got something hanging onto your shirt, it looks stringy. Is that a spider web?"
I respond, "What? That's his pet, he can't raise a pet spider?"
Dad says, "Yeah I raise them really big and fat so we can make spider rolls at the restaurant." (Spider roll is typically softshell crab in a roll with other stuffs for the non-sushi fans out there)
I groaned, chuckled, then reveled in all that was my first dad joke. It was awesome. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it's so long.
I was looking forward to all the dad jokes at Benihana last night, and I was not disappointed! (Also, epic onion volcano!)
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Our chef says "Who wants egg roll?" and then rolls an egg across the cooking surface.
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When the chef added butter to the cooking vegetables, he threw his bowl of butter into the air a couple times and said "Look! Butterfly!"
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While prepping the shrimp, he put all the tails on his spatula and asked the 6-year-old at the table "You ordered just tail, right?"
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He put one sesame seed on his spatula, showed it to the 6-year-old and said "Japanese diet!"
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Our chef checks with everyone who ordered steak to see how they want it cooked, then says to the people who ordered chicken "For chicken, everyone want rare?" and then he laughed when one of the girls at the table got really confused.
I'm sure there were more that I can't remember once the sake kicked in.
My parents and I are just finishing up some Fringe on TV and my mom says, "You know that song 'I think I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so?'" And I say, "Yeah, I think that band is called The Vacuums or something."My dad says: "Yeah, that band really sucks." I look it up online and it turns out that band is actually named The Vapors. I tell my parents that, being a good guy and all, and totally willing to admit when I'm wrong, and my dad says, "Oh, that band? They really stink." I cannot wait. I CANNOT WAIT to be a Dad and tell Dad jokes.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
