-Ship: A Visual Poem, Terrance Day, 2020
5 Fingers, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1952
After Migration: Calabria, Walé Oyéjidé and Jake Saner, 2019
All About Eve, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950
Alphaville, Jean-Luc Godard, 1965
Antarctica: A Year on Ice, Anthony Powell, 2013
Appropriate Behavior, Desiree Akhavan, 2014
The Asphalt Jungle, John Huston, 1950**
Band of Outsiders, Jean-Luc Godard, 1964**
Battered, Lee Grant, 1989
Brother’s Keeper, Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky, 1992
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Ken Hughes, 1968
Cleopatra, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1963
Color Adjustment, Marlon Riggs, 1991
Crime of Passion, Gerd Oswald, 1957
Crime Wave, André De Toth, 1953
Danzón, Maria Novaro, 1991
Day for Night, François Truffaut, 1973
Delicatessen, Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro, 1991
Denver & Rio Grande, Byron Haskin, 1952
Down and Out in America, Lee Grant, 1986
Down Argentine Way, Irving Cummings, 1940
Dragonwyck, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1946
Edward II, Derek Jarman, 1991
The Eternal Sea, John H. Auer, 1955
The Fever, Maya Da-Rin, 2019
Gas Food Lodging, Allison Anders, 1992
Get on the Bus, Spike Lee, 1996
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1947
Guys and Dolls, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1955**
Harvey, Henry Koster, 1950
Holiday Affair, Don Hartman, 1949
The Hours and Times, Christopher Münch, 1991
House of Strangers, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1949
I Am Afraid to Forget Your Face, Sameh Alaa, 2020
In the Soup, Alexandre Rockwell, 1992
Incident at Oglala, Michael Apted, 1992
Intimate Stranger, Alan Berliner, 1991
Johnny Guitar, Nicholas Ray, 1954
Johnny Suede, Tom DiCillo, 1991**
The Killing, Stanley Kubrick, 1956
Lands, Maya Da-Rin, 2009
The Last Command, Frank Lloyd, 1955
The Last Days of Disco, Whit Stillman, 1998
Les Vampires, Louis Feuillade, 1915
Light Sleeper, Paul Schrader, 1992
The Living End, Gregg Araki, 1992
The Load, Ognjen Glavonić, 2018
Man in the Saddle, André De Toth, 1951
The Man from Laramie, Anthony Mann, 1955
Margin, Maya Da-Rin, 2007
Matador, Pedro Almodovar, 1986**
The Nun, Jacques Rivette, 1966
The Quiet American, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1958
People Will Talk, Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1951
Pharos of Chaos, Wolf-Eckart Bühler and Manfred Blank, 1983**
Poison Ivy, Katt Shea, 1992
Radio On, Christopher Petit, 1979
Roger and Me, Michael Moore, 1989
She Runs, Qiu Yang, 2019
Some Divine Wind, Roddy Bogawa, 1992
Stormy Weather, Andrew L

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

This is part one of this list. This list is based off of accomplishments in the NBA (or ABA), not college or international leagues. Please let me know of any mistakes or if I missed something.

---

Key:

AS - All-Star

AN - All-NBA, All-ABA, All-BAA

AD - All-Defensive

AR - All-Rookie

MVP - Most Valuable Player

FMVP- Finals Most Valuable Player

DPOY - Defensive Player of the Year

6MOY - Sixth Man of the Year

MIP- Most Improved Player

COTY - Coach of the Year

EOTY- Executive of the Year

ScrC - Points Leader

AstC - Assists Leader

RebC - Rebounds Leader

StlC - Steals Leader

BlkC - Blocks Leader

---

Acadia University (1): Brian Heaney (1969-70) - 2.0/0.3/0.4 - 14 G

—

Akron (4): Bill Turner (1967-1973) - 5.4/3.5/0.6 - 294 G

—

Alabama (32): Latrell Sprewell (1992-2005) - 18.3/4.1/4.0 - 913 G - 4x AS, 1x AN, 1x AD, AR

Honorable Mentions: Antonio McDyess, Robert Horry, Mo Williams, Gerald Wallace

Active: JaMychal Green, Collin Sexton, Kira Lewis Jr, Herb Jones, Joshua Primo

—

Alabama A&M (1): Mickell Gladness (2011-12) - 2.2/2.2/0.2 - 26 G

—

Alabama at Birmingham (11): Elijah Millsap (2015-2017) - 4.2/2.8/1.1 - 69 G

Active: Nate Darling

—

Alabama State (2): Kevin Loder (1981-84) - 5.9/2.3/1.2 - 148 G

—

Alabama-Huntsville (1): Josh Magette (2017-20) - 2.2/1.0/2.4 - 26 G

—

Albany State (5): Caldwell Jones (1973-1990) - 7.9/8.2/1.4 - 1299 G - 1x AS, 2x AD

Honorable Mention: Wil Jones

—

Albertson College of Idaho (1): Elgin Baylor (1958-72) - 27.4/13.5/4.3 - 846 G - HOF, 11x AS, 10x AN, ROY

—

Alcorn State (6): Lindsey Hunter (1993-2010) - 8.5/2.2/2.7 - 937 G - 2x Champ, AR

Honorable Mention: Larry Smith

—

Alliance College (1): Don Asmonga (1953-54) - 0.7/0.1/0.7 - 7 G

—

American (2): Kermit Washington (1973-82, 1987) - 9.2/8.3/1.4 - 507 G - 1x AS, 2x AD

Honorable Mention: Andre Ingram

—

American International (1): Mario Elie (1990-2001) - 8.6/2.8/2.6 - 732 G - 3x Champ

—

Appalachian State (1): Belus Smawley (1947-51) - 12.7/2.8/23 - 261 G

—

Arizona (60): Gilbert Arenas (2001-12) - 20.7/3.9/5.3 - 552 G - 3x AS, 3x AN, MIP

Honorable Mentions: Andre Iguodala, Jason Terry, Richard Jefferson, Mike Bibby, Damon Stoudamire, Steve Kerr

Active: Deandre Ayton, Aaron Gordon, Josh Green, Solomon Hill, Andre Iguodala, Stanley Johnson, Lauri Markkanean, TJ McConnell, Zeke Nnaji

—

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Amy

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

TL;DR

Made all-time hometown rosters with original 30 NBA teams + 25 new teams to split populated areas and big teams (spreadsheet + map)

Player Pool and Team Pool

I used the top 969 players who have at least 10000 minutes played in their career.

Why 10000 minutes played? Because that's the lower standard set by Basketball-Reference to get on their ABA career leaderboard (15000 MP for NBA). I added George Mikan, because even though he hasn't played enough minutes, he's featured in All-Time ESPN NBARank and Bill Simmons Hall of Fame Pyramid.

I started off with the current 30 teams. To split up the Lakers and Clippers, I gave the Clippers their proposed Inglewood site.

As I looked at the map of player hometowns, I realized that there were:

• some areas that had a lot of players, but few close NBA teams
• some areas that had bloated rosters with too many players

Based off city population and arena size, I added 25 new teams.

• I obviously had to give Seattle their team back
• Birmingham, North Little Rock and Shreveport helped to split up the South
• Pittsburgh and St. Louis were big cities without teams
• Berkeley added to siphon off San Francisco
  • if I add Oakland, it takes away too many players
• Anaheim and Westwood added in Southern California (Clippers & Lakers)
• Winston-Salem and Raleigh to pare down Charlotte
• Lansing to prune Detroit
• 2nd Atlanta team in suburb of College Park
• 2nd Washington team and Baltimore
• 2 more teams in Chicago (Rosemont and South Side) + a team in Gary
• 2nd Indiana team + Louisville & Lexington
• 2nd Philadelphia team in suburb of Wynnewood
• 3 more teams in the New York Area (Newark, Queens and Long Island)

The Method

I started off gathering hometowns due to this fantastic database by Reuben Fischer-Baum ([original article source here](https://deadspin.com/infographics-where-do-pro-basketball-players-come-from-5132615

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.