I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
TSPDT 7223, highest ranking 5115 in 2015; TSZDT 233, highest ranking 213 in 2018; Director: Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr.; Writer: Theodore Simonson, Kay Linaker, Irvine H. Millgate (original idea); Watched February 25th on the Criterion Channel IMDB
82 minutes. No one can tell the story or important themes from The Blob better than Matthew Van Winkle in his 1990 classic “Ice, ice baby”. Let’s take a deep dive into what Mr. Van Winkle has really been trying to say all along.
“Ice, ice baby
Ice, ice baby”
He starts with a bit of a spoiler but must have been motivated by the property of water that can save us all. We all have blobs in our life, whether it be threats of a pervasive perverse political ideology, depression, addiction or any number of pernicious poisons that invade our minds and look to consume us. His anthem is a reminder that when the going gets tough, try icing it. Let’s see how he plays out this scenario below in the first verse.
“Alright stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights, and I'll glow”
That damn blob grabs a hold of its victim tightly and just grows and grows, fueled by fear. He starts this section by reminding us that we don’t have to tackle the blob by itself. We win together, not on an island.
“To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance, go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom”
He’s suggesting that he himself may be a leader in this fight against the blobs we all have in our lives. Especially with his publicly documented personal struggles, it’s become clear that he was motivated by The Blob to become a public force for good. He’s playful with the last phrase, saying that he is going to be so effective as a leader that his rhymes and wisdom will invade your brain with the same strength as the titular blob. If you listen to his advice you’ll find yourself dancing with your newfound mental and emotional freedom.
“Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, you better gangway
You better hit bull's eye, the kid don't play
If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it”
Just a bit of bragging and chest-beating here whic
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
For me, I'd go with Irvin Yeaworth's 'The 4D Man'. If you aren't familiar with this movie, here's the plot: A scientist discovers a formula enabling him to pass through solid matter but he loses his life-force and rapidly ages which forces him to kill humans in order to reverse the aging process by absorbing his victims' energies.
I feel that it could be on par with Leigh Whannell's rendition of 'The Invisible Man', if given the proper direction. I'd like to see this film be helmed by Ari Aster, I feel that he would definitely make it his own. As for the main cast, I'd like to see Matthew McConaughey as Dr. Scott Nelson, Hugh Jackman as Dr. Tony Nelson, and Cate Blanchett as Linda Davis.
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
