I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I've taken an interest recently into becoming a real estate agent, so I applied for an entry-level job with Berkshire Hathaway. I've worked in IT/data analytics and business-related jobs for just over a decade...looking for a change, want to work more with people, and I've been interested in and semi-involved with rentals in the past couple years (I don't own any myself).
So, i've been going through the interview process with an agent near me, and it's either very strange, or just different from what I'm used to...
Firstly, the first interview was not even an interview - they were just informing me of the costs for classes and licenses and so on. I read that this is typical, so that's fine.
But it was a rather annoying interview because this lady just talks and talks, and goes on and on about little details....this thing costs $25, that thing costs $75, and you'll have to move through this level and that level for like 20 min straight. She could have just told me the estimate honestly - like "people will pay between $1k and 2k in their first year, plus gas, transportation", within about 10 seconds. I'm fine with that, and i don't care about costs that much - I'm just saying she goes ON and ON and then she follows up her own statements with her own examples and then follows up her examples with re-iterating the concept again, then eventually asks me if i have any questions. It's mind-numbing, and by then I just want to get off the call. So, i hadn't really heard or interpreted ANYTHING she had said, so i took some notes and asked a couple basic questions to "pretend" i was listening, but i don't even know how to come up with a question because i still don't know what my expectations are.
So i ask her if she could send me that PowerPoint deck, and she said no, they're not allowed sending that out.
(So, they can share it with me, but not allowed to send it?) It's like they want to me to memorize all these numbers that she just lists out for half an hour at a time.
And i asked more about onboarding process...i will have a mentor and all that. Ok, and i get the structure is 1099 (I've done 1099 work in IT).
But in my second interview, she just kept throwing more numbers at me...commissions for this year are x, then if 3 transactions, new level of commission, etc. And then there was a second slide showing the sections within the study/license class. Again, i asked her to send me the slide, and she said no. But this time, she didn't just say "no, I'm n
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
It was about a weak back.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter pistol.
