Imgur Dad Puns

http://imgur.com/gallery/hAwRk5u

http://imgur.com/gallery/Wnu4S

http://imgur.com/SBWr70N

Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.

https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv

Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U

Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.

Carved Tree

I called it GandOwlF

I delivered it on a dad joke platter

http://imgur.com/a/98MD4lO

And here they are

In case this is your first time here (I haven't posted in a while), I find jokes here and elsewhere on the internet (and now my friends have started sending me jokes), and I text them to my daughter. I then capture her reactions for those sweet, sweet internet points.

Thanks very much to the original joke submitters. You dads are alright. If you missed any of the previous episodes:

Vol. 1

Vol. 2

Vol. 3

Vol. 4

EDIT: Since this is blowing up, I may as well mention that the young lady in question just passed her driver's license test this morning! Everyone congratulate her!

Also, thanks for the gold.

Google Assistant with the dad joke:

https://i.imgur.com/EUQ7TTF.jpg

This

As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!

I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.

Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!

My dad, sister and I were driving in the car when she pointed out a construction site.

Her: "They're putting in a Duck Donuts over there." Me: "Oh. I heard they're not going to take credit cards." H: "What? Why not?" M: "I don't know, but they'll only take bills."

Took her a few seconds to get it. Dad just looked at me and nodded.

I texted my Dad a link to the initial headline. His response is in the link below.

http://imgur.com/gallery/cAM4mhO

https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg

I can’t imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.

An inspiration to us all.

This might be the most "dad" thing I've done

http://imgur.com/bWMi1Rp

dad stahp you're embarrassing me

There are now over a million subs for this silly, corny, beautiful feed of dad jokes.

Link to PROOF: http://imgur.com/ksprvA1

A million subs is a big number.

If we put a million subs end to end, we'd be able to reach a very small part of the way around the Earth... Double that if they were foot long subs, and we'd make it all the way around and more if they were the kind of subs that go under water.

That's why I'm amazed.

Well done everyone on being amazing dads with amazing dad jokes. No matter what kind of dad you are - inside or outside expected dad norms - keep the world laughing and shaking their head.

(I'll keep this stickied for a short period of communal celebration and then go back to the shadows as normal. Keep doing you, dads.)

I'll be sitting in the passenger seat. Perhaps on my phone. My dad will point out to the street and say 'Hey'. Naturally this gets my attention. I usually respond with 'What?' He wont answer. I'll look over and he'll be pointing at a Truck transporting a large number of bales of hay. I look at him. Smuggest look of satisfaction on his face.

Edit: I can't spell. I'm like a clam Edit 2:http://i.imgur.com/mTme2Jo.jpg

You can see a little bit of her dad in her eyes.

This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.

Photos here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3

Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!

https://imgur.com/a/vYT7ZBx

She's 3. "Dad...that's...a pea. Not...pee."

"That's what I said. Pea!'

ಠಿ_ಠ

When the world hands you a dad joke https://i.imgur.com/0EiZwIt.jpg

He took this out of his wallet. Apparently he's been caring it around since the 80s: http://imgur.com/ri2NcWR. Making dad jokes before he was even a dad!

To you Dad!

Dad: How'd you sleep??

Everyone: Good, and you?

Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

Not my dad but I saw this and automatically thought of dad jokes.. http://imgur.com/eZSMsbq

Dad: What's it like watching 4/5ths of a TV?

Actually happened: https://imgur.com/a/BYheXrR

Was headed home from work to wall mount my TV, wanted to swing by my parents to get my dads stud finder. His reply is priceless.

http://imgur.com/9M4dGnO

My dad is notoriously bad with electronics. I have no idea how he did this but nonetheless, it made me sigh.

Daughter was born at 8:08am yesterday. 7lbs, 1oz, 20" long. Dad, Mom and baby are doing great! Image

Edit - link formatting
Edit - My wife thinks the pic makes it look like she gave birth to Mother Teresa

https://i.imgur.com/lhwU9ee.jpg

Not quite a dad joke, but I think it still qualifies. Feel free to remove it if not.

Our 5 year old was a witch for Halloween and asked dad to be a "man witch" to match her costume. And so begins the dad joke costume: https://i.imgur.com/1qLrHEE.jpg

(I posted this on the Halloween contest in r/pics and was told to share it here.)

And my dad had this to say about the event.

I was joking that my probable cause of death was going to be strangulation by my fiance from excessive dad jokes. This was her reply to it, so I had to do it. When they find my body, tell them it was suicide :P

Her: Come hear so I can strangle you

Me: [ear emoji] Ear you go

https://imgur.com/MUuFq4o

not a joke per se but seems like a pretty Dad'ish plan to surprise his friends with such a devious ticket! 😲

I told my family via our family Whatsapp chat group that I had just found out that one of my wisdom teeth had decided to grow horizontally into the root of the next tooth requiring both teeth to be extracted. My Dad replies with this.... https://imgur.com/a/XbGg5KB

Sorry, I mean 4 and 6.

Saw Andy Zaltzman last night and he dropped that quality dad joke.

On vacation with my girlfriend and my mom set up an easy dad joke. I laughed and laughed

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/iwg553o

I told my dad we were studying the periodic table in chemistry he sent me this

Picture a road like this, covered in traffic cones and traffic slowed to a crawl.

Dad: An ice cream van crashed here this morning.

Me: Really?

Dad: Yeah, look at all the cones on the road.

*slaps steering wheel in delight

Put a post on Facebook for my mom, but dad struck first.....

Came through on my facebook... I apologize if it's a repost (I did a quick search and didnt see it)

THE WALKING DAD

Part 3.

Credit to the original submitters where applicable. Thanks, dads. Credit to my daughter for being amazing.

Part 1 and part 2

The fourth album is often the best.

Credit to the original submitters. Thanks for keeping me funny, dads.

EDIT: Black Sabbath, Paranoid, Master of Reality