Im Fine Puns

But on the other hand im fine

The circumstances for this joke were so specific I don't think it will ever be repeated.

Yesterday morning I stopped by my parent's house and my mom had just made coffee. She buys "raw unfiltered honey" from a local farmers market to sweeten the coffee. First she handed my dad his cup, then she was about to put a spoonful of honey in mine when she stopped and said "there's something in this honey!"

I looked at it and it was literally a bee's hairy little leg. I looked in the jar and found one more. I said "its no big deal, im sure its fine", then I picked out the legs. Just then my dad takes a big sip and makes an "Ahhh" sound like he's satisfied. He then holds up the cup and smiles at us like he's in a 1950's Folgers commercial and says "This coffee is the BEE'S KNEES!"

It was epic.

Went to Disney for our Honeymoon last week.. We went into the Presidents Hall, and on the floor in the middle of the room is The Great Seal of The United States I take one glance at my new wife... "That's not a seal, that's an eagle!" I got a few groans and a couple of laughs from dads around the room. Im not a dad yet... But I think Ill do just fine.

Edit: http://imgur.com/dV5hb71 is a picture of the actual seal from Disneyworld

An old friend i havent heard from in over a year messages me.

Me: what have you been up to?

Her: ive been good being a G

Me: you should try being a person instead of letter

Badum tsss!!

She said shes embarrassed to know me. Im fine with that as i laugh about this.

So my brother and I have this app called duolingo. Its an app for learning different languages. Im learning spanish and hes learning french.

So one fine day, this is our conversation...

Me: Oh man, I gotta practice my spanish!

Him: Oh yea, I gotta practice my french too.

Me: Just watch your profanity.

He took a second to laugh but eventually got it.