32 Hilarious If I Can't Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

My friend knows a lot about Marx and I can't tell if he is a communist

or just well read.

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📅︎ Aug 16 2022

My wife said if I don't fix her a filet mignon tonight, she's leaving. I went to the store and they rearranged the meat market so everything is on the top shelf and I can't reach it.

The steaks have never been higher.

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👤︎ u/Belscnickle

📅︎ Aug 21 2022

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I'm getting old and I can't recall the other word for ninja star. I asked a friend if he thinks I could ever remember it.

He said... "sure you can."

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👤︎ u/jhn714

📅︎ Jul 15 2022

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I have seen a lot of NSFW jokes on this sub recently. If you can't tell a joke to your kids, it's not a "dad joke" it's just a pun.

They're also pun-ishingly bad! You should be pun-alized for it!

Edit: >!I normally don't do this but let me explain the joke/post. Please notice the pun-chline below the title.!<

>!The idea behind this post was to make a pun out of the controversial topic of this sub and nothing else.!<

>!I'm the "devil's advocate" when it comes to both sides. I love both SFW and NSFW dad jokes. Also, there are many prude cultures in the world where parents don't use NSFW jokes with their kids even as an adult so it makes sense why they won't think an NSFW joke is not a dad joke. Reddit is not limited to western culture.!<

Edit 2: A lot of people have been sharing links in this post. Don't click them. They might be scammers.

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👤︎ u/D0wnVoteMe_PLZ

📅︎ Aug 25 2021

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So what if I can't spell Armageddon...

Not as if it's the end of the world.

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👤︎ u/athei-nerd

📅︎ May 21 2022

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honestly can't remember if I saw this one here but... what do gangsters call those new Universal Serial Buses?

A USB, see?

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👤︎ u/iwasgeoff

📅︎ Apr 20 2022

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I bought a new castle that came with a guard out front that can't let me in if I lock myself out

It's equipped with keyless sentry

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👤︎ u/amishandroid

📅︎ Apr 16 2022

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If there is one place I can't stand....

Is an ice rink.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Jan 26 2022

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I can't tell whether my new car's suspension is amazing, or if im sociopath.

Either way when i ran over that pedestrian, i didn't feel a thing

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👤︎ u/tadashi4

📅︎ Nov 09 2021

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does anyone know the name of this hand movement asking if the person understood the pun? (I can't find many images/gifs of it)

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👤︎ u/superguri22

📅︎ Jun 06 2021

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My smartwatch can't tell me if I have a virus.

But it does tell me if I have ran somewhere.

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👤︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut

📅︎ Jan 17 2021

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Amazon delivered my new Ninja professional blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

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👤︎ u/Big_Green_Grill_Bro

📅︎ Nov 05 2020

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I can't decide if this joke is swede or sour.

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👤︎ u/Dankmonseiur69

📅︎ Jul 28 2018

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My doctor says I need an operation, but I can't afford it. I asked the doctor if it was something I could do on my own.

He said, "suture self."

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👤︎ u/RonPalancik

📅︎ Feb 08 2018

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Not sure if this was here before, but I can't ignore perfection

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👤︎ u/Asgore45

📅︎ Feb 20 2019

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I can't tell if my tea is too strong or too expensive

Either way, it's steep

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👤︎ u/dadlifememes

📅︎ Jan 12 2020

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I can't decide if I want to go sky diving

I'm still up in the air about it

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👤︎ u/Haydn_Seek

📅︎ Sep 28 2017

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I was at school today and they ask us if the bill of rights apply to us students i responded we can't bare shoulders never mind baring arms

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👤︎ u/gardnbra7

📅︎ Sep 03 2019

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I can't decide if I should cut the grass or update the bathroom

I guess I'll just start with Moen

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👤︎ u/JAAIA1999

📅︎ Jun 13 2019

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If I can't find a day care to take of my baby I'll send him to the army.

He can be apart of the infantry.

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👤︎ u/huffe

📅︎ Nov 26 2018

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So let me tell you a little about my situation. It's currently about -12°F outside and my HVAC just broke. So, I decided to build a fire, but it turns out I can't use my fireplace because it needs a new flue, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this

but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.

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👤︎ u/BuddyEndsleigh

📅︎ Jan 22 2016

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If there's one thing I can't stand

It's a folded piece of paper in a strong wind

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👤︎ u/jumperclown

📅︎ Sep 05 2017

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can't decide if i want to go to the Hives concert

don't want to make any rash decisions

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👤︎ u/relayrider

📅︎ Jul 02 2016

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I'm considering buying this photo, but I can't decide if that'd be exercising good Juddgment or not.

http://imgur.com/a/y0OeA

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👤︎ u/wuapinmon

📅︎ May 18 2017

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So what if I can't spell armagidan?

It's not the end of the world

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👤︎ u/Redylittle

📅︎ Aug 19 2021

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So what if I can't spell apocalipse"?

It's not like it's the end of the world.

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👤︎ u/Enrage

📅︎ Apr 04 2021

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So what if I can't spell armageddon?

It's not the end of the world.

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👤︎ u/EddieGrant

📅︎ Oct 30 2020

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So what if I can't spell armageddon?

It's not the end of the world.

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👤︎ u/the_houser

📅︎ Nov 11 2020

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So what if I can't spell 'Armageddon'

It's not the end of the world

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Jul 01 2020

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I can't tell if I like this blender

It keeps giving me mixed results.

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/drawsprocket

📅︎ Dec 23 2016

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I can't tell if I like my new blender

It keeps giving me mixed results.

👍︎ 85

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👤︎ u/straightouttaireland

📅︎ Mar 24 2019

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I can't decide if I want to go sky diving

I'm still up in the air about it

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👤︎ u/Haydn_Seek

📅︎ Sep 28 2017

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