Wanna know how I welcome birds to my home?

Microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I don't trust stairs?

They're always up to something...

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lahkli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?

It really takes the hedge off!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Probcauz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna know how I escaped Iraq?

Iran

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/im_the_clone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanna know where that bar is.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KrissiKross
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
You wanna know what I don't like about babies?

They're all born with da fetus attitudes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna know where I stole all my dad jokes?

A dad-a-base

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
wanna know why I like forks?

because spoons are pointless

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCommonersLife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna know what I did when I got the draft letter for WWIII on Iran?

I ran.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I prefer to ride the elevator alone?

I can’t take the stares.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicmanst90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know how much I love onions?

Shallot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarsRoadster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I can't be buried in a cemetery?

I'm still alive

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?

H2Oww

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JayBoy1879
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know how I burned 2014 calories in just an hour?

I left my frozen pizza in the oven for too long

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/subhi2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I bought nine rackets?

Cause tennis too many.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CulturedGrass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A train just went by here, wanna know how I know?

It left its tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JLECVICTORY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?

I felt like it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I don't drink water?

It's because I'm a man of taste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leecy1320
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna know how I slept?

With my eyes closed

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what I wanna do once I graduate from nursing school?

Be a midhusband

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anxiouscuke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
"You wanna know something? You are really really ugly," I said to the pack of bin bags.

"Have you lost your mind?" asked the woman next to me.

"No," I said, "Look on the label. It says they're degradable."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna know why I like mushrooms so much?

Because they’re fun guys

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cloudsarehats
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I don’t like sausages?

Because they are the wurst...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TruDood
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
You wanna know how I got through Middle East really fast?

Iran.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drkaczur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Wanna know why I use a camo print dildo?

So they'll never see me cumming

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/junppu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Told my daughter "No" to something, she replies with "but daaaaadddd I wanna know whyyyyy!"

My response: "Well I want to know W, but we can't meet all the letters we want now can we?"

Daughter: (angry and annoyed tone) "That's NOT funny dad...."

My wife got a chuckle out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xanaoded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
🚨︎ report
I don’t trust stairs... you wanna know why?

Because they’re always up to something!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masodilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna know how I escaped ISIS?

Iran

πŸ‘︎ 518
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamgej
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know how I got from Pakistan to Iraq?

Iran.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JTR_finn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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