I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
I love you
At least... that’s a joke my dad told me all the time
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
Son, I love you, and I think you rock
But I promise I will never take you for Granite again
In France, They don’t say “I love you”
Because they don’t speak english there.
In the store I saw some brightly coloured greeting cards that said, "I will always love only you "
They sold them in packs of 12.
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
I asked my friend, “Have you ever met someone online first and then fall in love with them?”
He said, “Does my girlfriend count?”
I said, “Not sure. If she knows basic math, she should be able to.”
You know, I really do love bad puns.
I love Kirby. You could even say I’m a- Kirby fan
Do you know why I love rocks?
They’re very sedimental to me.
Do you want to know why I love this floor?
It's always been so supportive.
I know you wood love this.
Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!
Me : but that’s where I draw the line
GF: I love you
Me: I love the sequel
GF: .......
Me: I love you 2
cue groans
I would love to help you out, but...
I don't know which way you came in.
How do you get a woman to say I love you on the first date?
You take a dog with you :)
I looked at my wife and proclaimed, "I promise to love you 24/7!!"
She looked lovingly at me, eyes welling with tears as I continued, "And today is the day!"
Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, "I love you."
She asked: "Is that you or the beer talking?"
I said: "It's just me talking to the beer."
I love Afghanistani cooking (and I'm sure you know why)...
Even when they have nothing ready, they can always Kabul up something.
Dad I love you
Well I love myself as well, thanks
I would really love if my dad was like you
I think I'm in love with you cuz
I love peanuts... But it’s hard for a peanut to love you back when it’s been asalted all its life.
I love math, you could call it an addiction
I tried the “If you love something, set it free” thing.
But my kids are still here.
I don’t know about you but I love to tell dad jokes
My wife and I love to go on dates, but we always do what she wants. Today she asked me, ‘If you had to pick any date, what would it be?’
I love you, Cassidy McDonald
I love the fleeting second of shock you get when you stumble over an extension cord.
Seriously, what a power trip.
I was on a date and said to the waiter “I would love the bo-log-nayz and a white wine.” Laughing my date said “I didn’t know you spoke another language.”
I replied, “yeah, I’m trylingual.”
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip?
It's okay, Seven. I still love you.
https://imgur.com/gallery/Nvr2WAX
My wife tricked me into watching “P.S. I love you” on Netflix.
Turns out it is not about a dude who marries his PlayStation.
You know what I love about living in a house of smokers?
Everything smells like meat.
Wife of Neil Degrasse Tyson: I love you, Honey.
Neil Degrasse Tyson: Your presence makes my dopamine and oxytocin levels higher too.
"I love you son, and I will never leave you"
I tried the “If you love something, set it free” thing.
But my kids are still here.
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