I’d really love to tell a dad joke.
But without any children myself, I’d also hate to commit a faux pa.
I love melons so much I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
I went to Wimbledon today and was advised not to fall in love with a tennis player..
Because 'Love' means nothing to them.
I would love to tell you my secret recipe for my famous Indian flatbread, but first:
I'll need you to sign a naan-disclosure agreement.
I love carbonated drinks. But I really hate having to crush the empty cans afterward.
I sent a love letter to my girlfriend, but she said the format is not romantic
So I re-typed the letter with Times New Romance
My mom bought my wife Minnie mouse pj's for her birthday. She wore them last night for the first time. My daughter came in to our room this morning and said "Mom, I love your Minnie pajamas!"
I responded, "Actually they're full size."
I used to love spinning around metal blades really fast,
My wife and I own a dog that we love dearly. She sheds so much hair that I couldn’t stand it anymore. Had to eventually get rid of her.
It was a tough decision, but my dog and I are so much happier now.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t
As we were eating our melons, I started crying uncontrollably. Startled and concerned, my son asked if I was ok. "They were madly in love and all they wanted to do was run away and secretly get married, but they couldn't!"
Confused, he asked me what I was talking about.
"The melons! They couldn't be together because they cantaloupe!"
I would love to write poetry
as beautiful as the prose.
I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said: "Turn left here."
Twizzler needs to get into the alcohol edibles market, I know I would love to get drunk off their twists.
The best part is, it can still be called Licorice.
Child to Parent - If you didn’t see me for 10 mins would you remember me? Parent - Of course! Child - How about 10 hours, days, weeks, months, years? Parent - I will love and remember you for ever!
Child - Knock knock
Parent - Who’s there?
Child - You’ve forgotten me already!
I used to absolutely love Tractors
I don’t anymore though
Now I’m an extractor fan
So I heard people are claiming NFTs are a great way to cultivate a love of French impressionist art
But I think they're just in it for the Monet.
I would love to tell you a joke about unemployed people…
Sadly none of them work 😔
I would love to get paid to sleep.
Went out to dinner yesterday and I said to the waiter, "Budapest is going to love this".
Waiter: confused face
I said, "I named my stomach Budapest 'cause it's the capital of Hungary".
Waiter then makes post on /r/antiwork about his terrible work environment.
I love 90’s rock; I was listening to some Pearl Jam and realized
that it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.
I’m so sorry, I’d love to help, but my hands are running a 5K.
I explained to my son, "You order one pizza and you love it. Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread. Before you know it, you're eating pizzas for every meal and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one."
"That's the Domino effect!"
I heard a bit of lore once that vampires love to count things so I’ve gotta ask, would they make good tellers?
Not a joke, I just wanted to say that I love this sub!
My wife groans at most of the jokes, but she also laughs. The way I see it the jokes may be kind of dumb, but they are totally worth it if they make you smile.
I was trying to build a table but the instructions led me astray. I’d love to talk with the person who wrote them…
But I don’t think we share a common language.
I have a friend who's a koala, named Kerry. She really loves her tea. One time, she told me "I love to climb mountains, but I'd really love to drink my tea on Everest of all of them." when I asked why, she replied,
"then it would be the highest koala tea!"
I used to love my job checking out boreholes
Capitalization makes the whole difference in a sentence. For example: I love to eat candy
I love to eat capitalization.
See... They're like two completely different sentences.
Everybody seems to love Thanksgiving now days, but I’ll be honest…
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
I’d love to share a Vlasic, I dare say legendary, pickle joke…
But I don’t want to go Claussen a commotion, so dill with it.
Have you heard about the tea that only grows on the tallest mountains? I’d love to try it…
But the price is too steep.
This is a great sub to discover because I love telling Dad jokes.
Sometimes he even laughs.
I once fell in love with a melon farmer’s daughter. But when I asked if she wanted to run away and get married in secret, she turned me down.
She told me she cantaloupe.
Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
My 2.5 year old daughter says to me from the love seat: “Hi Daddy, I’m Anna.”
I would love to become a horticulturist...
...But I couldn’t get into the field
I love doing labrynths, they're awesome right? To sum it up in a word...
I once made love to a girl in an apple orchard...
I love melons so much I wanted to marry one
But the judge says we cant-elope
I love melons so much that I wanted to marry one…
But it turns out we cantaloupe
I love melons so much I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
I love melons so much that I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
I was in a taxi today and the driver said, "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do." Then I said...
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