I hate people who use physically impossible metaphors
I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything.
I hate it when people call me a windmill.
I hate when people say they are speaking on behalf on everyone
And I’m sure everybody agrees with me
I hate it when I find beetles in my bed
I hate Russian dolls
They’re full of themselves
My teenager at brunch this morning: “I hate chickpeas”
Me: “how do you feel about dude peas?”
She and her mom laughed for about 10 seconds before they told me what an awful dad joke that was. Mission accomplished!
I hate it when people say men can't multi-task
Every time I hear it I have to stop what I'm doing so I can get angry.
I need help there’s a dad joke forming inside me but it’s incomplete, it starts out that for some reason I hate Roman numerals
And then ends with “ not on my watch” help should I try to abandon this one ?
I used to hate skin cancer
But it's starting to grow on me.
I hate jokes about Germany
I hate people who always use big words
They just want to make themselves look perspicacious.
If I hate people with no feet, would that make me
I really hate elevator music.
The melody sucks on so many levels.
I hate it when I receive a birth announcement card which starts with: "Hello, I'm here! My parents are happy to ..."
I'm jealous.
My son couldn't write his own card when he was born!
I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day
I hate toilets
They are always talking shit
I really hate puns about elements in the periodic table...
I hate making spelling mistakes when posting a joke.
Because all you have to do is mix up a few letters and your whole joke is urined.
I used to really hate facial hair
I hate those insects that always swarm and bite me whenever I’m cooking BBQ.
I hate two kinds of people the most
The first kind is those who always leave their sayings unfinished.
I hate standing in line
Just as much as the next guy.
I hate myself for using the phrase "I wish I had a nickel..." so often.
I hate playing cards with 2 decks of different sizes
Do you know what I hate about beavers?
I hate playing mini-golf
Those tooth-pick size clubs hurt my fingers
I hate math
I know decimals have a point
But fractions is where I draw the line
I hate jokes about unemployed people
I don't love or hate goats
I hate daylight savings time.
I hate people who do acupuncture
I hate when people say “go figure”
Math is bad enough without you being bossy about it.
I made this up today and my wife didn't appreciate it. A pigeon and a chicken started a right-wing supremacist hate group...
... They called it the coo clucks clan
I hate the wind.
It just blows me away with how rude it can be
i hate that my brain thought of this
I hate my job. All I do all day, every day is crush cans
I used to hate facial hair
But then it started growing on me
I hate elevator music
It sucks at so many levels
I hate jokes about sausages
I used to hate math…
but then I realised that decimals had a point.
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