Found this in my moms garage. I give you: The Bottle Popener
When in the Middle East, I found out that Google alters your search results depending on where you are.
I also found out how to make a bath bomb that will absolutely blow you away!
I found out today you should never brush your teeth using your right hand.
It works much better if you use a toothbrush
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
I found a website to see how weak you are
I was going to tell you a joke about a calculator I lost and never found.
But the details just didn't add up.
I found that if you gaze long enough into an abyss...
...They'll ask you to leave.
I found a cave filled with gold on my property, but you can’t have any.
Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.
You just have to listen varicosely.
I found out a way to make money in the summertime. When you go to bed, you turn off all electronics except for one......
I just found out you can’t run through a campground
You have to ran…because it’s past tents.
I met a couple of bugs who were so disgusted by the city's infrastructure they decided to found a company that repairs alternative routes. I asked "what are you going to call this service?"
I lost my watch at a party. I found it but some guy was standing on it and arguing with his girlfriend. Next thing you know he punches her so I knocked him out.
Nobody hits a girl.....not on my watch.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? I found out why it happened.
He couldn’t see that well.
Found at my local Trader Joe’s.... I mean come on... you laughed... Right?!
I found this funny, what do you sphinx?
I recently found some videos on YouTube by this guy who went travelling between Dover and Calais, Portsmouth and Caen, Poole and Cherbourg and Plymouth and Roscoff.
It wasn't a very good channel.
A gem I found in the YouTube comment section
Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
I just found out you should never put sanitizer in the dishwasher.
I found a cool rock in my father-in-law's yard. FIL- Oh that's a native American fertility stone. Me- Really! How can you tell? FIL- ....
I found a phone number where if you call it, it gives you a famous movie line
So call this number, and get your free quote today
Found this old image on my phone, I thought you guys would appreciate it
You know where I should put those sea shells I found at the beach?
Survey found doctors aren't always honest with their patients. I could have told you that
They always seem to keep a skeleton in their closet
I just found out I am going to be a dad so I need to be prepared. Which are the best dad jokes you know?
Pun book I found by art moger ask if you want to see more puns from this
Thought you might enjoy this one i found
My theory as to why USA and Cuba had their dispute was because of oil. Evidence you say. I just found Fidels Castrol
Second joke my dad ever told me, which I later found out he stole from Carlin: you know how you can tell when a moth farts?
It flies in a straight line.
I just hired a full time valet, and I found that people really treat you differently.
He has opened a lot of doors for me.
When I found out a coworker has four step kids and one biological kid, I said "Hats off to you" . . . .
He replied, "No. Hats on. Hats on now."
I found a bunch of old jokes I made if you want to read them.
What do you call a boat that can sell you something. A sails man.
My friend asked for something to write with, I said “pen or pencil”. He said it depens.
I went to a fan contest. The winner blew away the competition.
My friend got married to a torch. You could say she was the light of his life.
After going through these jokes I now hate myself.
I found out today you can hold air in your hands...
I've just clicked on a link about Tyrion Lannister. You won't believe what I found out
Found out I can't have donuts without you...
You would loaf being yourself if you found out you were inbread, am I rye?
You know what I found odd?
Numbers not divisible by 2.
I found a line of coke in the bathroom! (I'm a dad, can you tell?)
So I just found out that Pythons actually squeeze your heart into stopping before you suffocate in their wrap.
I guess that's a little disheartening...
Did I ever tell you the one about the guy who cracked the egg and found two lines of hairs inside? No?
Well, upon further consideration, maybe that yolk's two eyebrow.
Found in /r/firstworldanarchists and i thought you guys would enjoy
I found a brightly coloured feather on the ground, picked it up and put it in my hat band and said "Hey, do you guys know what this is?" "No, what?"
"Macaroni."
Groans all around.
I found a great bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing it.
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t need to get your hands messy by mixing the flour.
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
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