I Can't Wait Puns

I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”

So on January 1st I can say “I guess hindsight is 2020!”

.. last year I raked it in.

I know for sure that i will get leid upon arrival

It's a play on words.

Everyone will be wearing masks!

I hear his sound is very Seoulful and reminiscent of the 70’s.

I’ll finally have that hot smoking bod I always wanted

I'll really be in my prime.

It's about time.

Then, hindsight will be 2020.

Fast10: Your Seat Belts

So I can say to them

“YOU GIVE THAT BACK!”

No hesitation I say, “Tulips”

I have a pre-planned response of, "You're kidding me!".

"Who's Budapest?"

"That's my stomach's name, because it's the capital of HUNGRY."

I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.

And as the groans begin, I'll screech, "The letter G!"

...to become WASWAS

At that point, I'm just always going to talk about the child in her.

It'll change everything!

"Dad, I'm hungry" "Hi hungry I'm dad"

"Dad do u wanna play soccer with me" "I would love to but it's not allowed to kick your kids"

When checking out at the grocery store if toilet paper is one of the items purchased they will always ask the clerk: "Do you think this is enough toilet paper for this much food?"

When anyone is eating something spicy: "Better get some ice cream next, because in a few hours you're gonna be in the bathroom screaming COME ON ICE CREAM"

Me: Dad, I bumped my head! Dad: Does your face hurt? Me: No... Dad: 'cause it's killin' me!

I miss Dad jokes. This subreddit makes me happy when I miss my Dad, because he would have loved these. :)

I'm not saying I'll watch it. But there's been wurst casting.

I was walking past the open bathroom door, and my dad was just inspecting his shaving job. As he rubbed his cheek, he said "I can't wait for tomorrow."

Why's that dad?

"Cuz I get better looking every day."

" 'Cause I get better lookin' everyday!" Hahah I love him.

Works best out loud..

"You know how at most schools student who reach certain GPA's are awarded either Magna cum Laude or Summa Cum Laude or something along those lines? What do the students who get 2.0's get?

Thank the Laude!"

My girlfriend is marinating chicken in a bowl in the morning for our dinner.

GF: Can you shake the chicken for me?

Me: Yeah, sure.

(I shake it up good)

Me: Hey honey, the chicken might need some help.

GF: Why?

Me: Because it's pretty shaken up.

GF: ...

I'm all about the bass the bass the bass No treble (hook)

For instance, a friend of mine said his phone died, so I responded "Well don't grieve too much, after all it was never really alive"

Is 2020

Then I can say “hindsight’s 2020”.

Because hindsight is 2020

I can't wait for Christmas to be present day.