I told my boss, βSorry Iβm late. I was having computer issues.β
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. Itβs my laptop.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
I'm so sorry.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
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π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Prisoner: "I'm sorry I tried to escape. "
Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "
REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.
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π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Iβm sorry about posting another joke about Trumpβs hair
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π
︎ Jan 20 2021
I'm really sorry
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π
︎ Nov 18 2020
I just thought of this today as I was driving... Iβm sorry in advance π I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges
It was kinda pointless...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Dad: Sorry son Iβm all out of dad jokes
Son: I thought your name was dad?
Dad: Well played.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
I'm sorry, I couldn't get this out of my head
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Iβm sorry
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
"Sorry I'm late" said the broom
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
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π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Iβm sorry for such a miserable post
π︎ 57
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Man: Iβm so sorry Iβm late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I'm sorry to report that I lost both my feet to diabetes
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
I'm sorry
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
I'm sorry
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
π︎ 843
π
︎ May 13 2020
Iβm sorry
π︎ 115
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Iβm sorry.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
My maths book from high school... Iβm sorry
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Sorry if old, one of my favorites. I'm new. Be nice.
It is a well-known fact that William Tell and some members of his family were members of a bowling league. Unfortunately all the records from back then have disappeared so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I'm sorry
I once tried telling a chemistry joke
But i got no reaction
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
Iβm sorry I canβt stop making jokes about denim
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
I'm sorry
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
I'm sorry.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
I'm sorry, I just had to play with my food
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 20 2020
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
I'm so sorry
π︎ 42
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
I'm sorry man, I had to do it
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".
They ask "Was it arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".
Edit: holy shrimp! I got silver! Thanks for the reception!
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
i'm so sorry
Q: what did the scientist say when they found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
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π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Sorry Iβm late for cinco de Mayo. What do you call churros that have sat out on your counter all day?
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π
︎ May 08 2020
I'm sorry but you can't ride your pony today it has a throat infection.
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 31 2020
I'm sorry.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
Iβm sorry
π︎ 54
π
︎ Feb 10 2020
ME: *coughing* I'm sorry my voice is a little hoarse.
CHESS PLAYER: did.. did you just swallow my knight?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 15 2020
i just learn that sorry is improper grammar and that the correct way to say it is i'm sorry
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I'm sorry.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
I came home and saw a note from my wife stuck on the fridge: βIβm sorry. This isnβt working. You take things too literally. Goodbye.β
She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jul 28 2018
I'm sorry this is so "cheesy"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
Sorry guys but Iβm feeling a little bit puny today
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
I had to, I'm sorry
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
Son: Iβm sorry for being so grumpy. Iβm just hangry.
Dad: Here, have a happytizer.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
Sorry I'm late!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
Doctor: Iβm sorry but I had to remove a section of your colon.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
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