I'm Sorry Puns

GF: What's that?

BF: Remorse code.

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

The Higgs-Boson then replies, "But without me, how will you have mass?"

It runs in your jeans

Me why?

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "

REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.

But he had hell toupee

It was kinda pointless...

Son: I thought your name was dad?

Dad: Well played.

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

"I over swept"

Boss: You mist the boat.

A time traveller walks into a bar.

I feel so defeeted.

It is a well-known fact that William Tell and some members of his family were members of a bowling league. Unfortunately all the records from back then have disappeared so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

I once tried telling a chemistry joke

But i got no reaction

It’s in my jenes

They ask "Was it arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".

Edit: holy shrimp! I got silver! Thanks for the reception!

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

Q: what did the scientist say when they found 2 isotopes of helium?

A: HeHe

She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.

Room tempera-churros.

It's a little hoarse.

Me; What?

Dad: Here, have a happytizer.

Me;