Idk I'm too single to understand
πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m still single on Star Wars Day...

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/e3-po
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.

And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My Music Pun of the Week. I have to change it Every. Single. Week. I'm running out of ideas.
πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/melissaanne7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a single dad and a fast walker

I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/revoltinglemur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a single dad looking after two kids, a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old...

They're my 9 to 5.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.

In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, you have to talk normal and stop speaking in single letters. Can’t you see I’m going crazy?!

O I C U R

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shimmywaffles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My trainer asked if I’m engaging my abs when I use the ab roller. I told him they’re not engaged, they’re single
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SnippityPippity
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m known for two thingsβ€” being single, and having terrible penmanship.

I’m the most illegible bachelor in town.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Every single time I wake up later than 9 A.M.

Dad: "He's alive!!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BanjoStory
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
🚨︎ report
I'm single because my jokes are cheesy.

I guess you could call me the provolone.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastaSaurizard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to analyze why I’m still single.

So I divided the data according to the ex-axis and the why-axis.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
This Christmas, we were talking about older puns and I said: You can’t say I’m single..

because I HAVE dated references.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepicklebarrel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I like both boys and girls, but I'm still single.

I guess I am meant to be bi-myself.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/da_video_live
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Best of Reddit puns: " I've never regretted a single moment of my wedding day up until I read the words "Yes, I didgeridoo, m8". I'm gonna have to remarry my missus. " ... " Didgeridoo your wedding yet? " reddit.com/r/worldnews/co…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BothBawlz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
🚨︎ report
When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs

It's the best place to pick up chicks.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3Dbabble
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Thanks for reminding me that I'm single
πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TravisJason
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
As an Android user, I finally gave in and bought my first Apple device. I have to say I'm impressed, even if it only has a single-core processor

Pic of my new device here - http://i.imgur.com/UwQ8ZUE.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/borick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Every single time I'm in a clothes store with my Dad...

...he'll deliberately go to the lingerie section and make any calls he needs to, just so he can say over the phone that he's "standing in women's underwear".

πŸ‘︎ 63
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cuttlefish_Go
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report
I'm surprised I'm not single yet

A little backstory: my girlfriend has had a small lizard living in her house recently. She's likened him to the mascot of a specific insurance company. Today, she found him looking rather ill and decided to release him outside.

Cue to me leaving her house tonight. As I walked out the door:

Me - "goodnight!"

Her - "Wait!"

Me - "Geez. You scared me. I thought I was stepping on something."

Her - "No, I just forgot to give you something. Oh no! The poor lizard! That would've been terrible!"

Me - " I know!! ... ... He would've never been able to achieve his Olympic dreams as a Gecko roman wrestler."

Her - "Go. Now."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/triculous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Why I'm still a single dad

why I'm still single http://imgur.com/gallery/usvxttd

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_Berg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2015
🚨︎ report
I’m still single on Star Wars Day...

Apparently I’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SyncingShiip
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Every single time I say, "I'm tired..."

Dad: "I'm Ken."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.