I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
I'll never forget the day I got married....
I've tried everything.....Alcohol. Drugs, even Hypnosis.
I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me..
"Would you stop shaking the fucking ladder?!"
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
I’ll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.
The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, he’s lucky there was a pane of glass between us.
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
I’ll never forget what I said to the water buffalo I treated like my child when I had to let him go,
I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
I’ll never forget my 6th, 13th, 18th, 21st, 23rd, and 27th birthdays, they were great
Some of them were even prime!
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
I'll never forget my dad's last words...
Are you sure it's loaded with blanks?
I’ll never forget my first visit to the rodeo.
Gimme some sweet karma for an account I'll never use again
I’ll never forget the moment my doctor told me That I was deaf
It was really hard to hear.
Dad: Son, I’ll never forget where I was when I heard the news that JFK was shot.
It was my sixth grade American history class.
One thing I'll never do is tell dad jokes
I'll never forget what my mom said about my dead beat of a dad from Australia..
I’ll never date an apostrophe again!
The last one was too possessive.
I'll never forget the day I was born. All those flashing lights and unfamiliar faces.
I don't think my parents should've taken me to a nightclub at that age.
Was checking my son's essay about the countryside and saw he kept writing the word 'hll'. So I told him to never forget...
(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit--
I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit--
Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
I'll never forget when the doctors put me under...
They really wanted me to win the limbo competition.
I'll never vaccinate my kids, that's stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous.
I'd get the doctor to do it.
What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?
I just went to get my glasses fixed and you’ll never guess who I ran into when I was there!
That’s right!
.... Everyone.
I never knew what happiness was until I got married....
...and then, it was too late.
I never thought about what to do with a telescope if I got one.
I guess I should look into it.
My Dad got me with this one a few years back and I'll never forget it
Dad: Hey did you hear that famous actress was murdered yesterday?!
Me: No way which one??
Dad: Uhhh, Reese...Reese...Reese...
Me: Reese Witherspoon?!?
Dad: No with a knife!!!!!!
I'll never walk down the hall, outside the church, near the courtyard...
I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Take Beethoven for example. They told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf!"
Went to go pick my glasses up from SpecSavers today and you’ll never guess who I bumped into!
You'll never guess what happened to the Italian Chef!
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
I told my wife I'll never vaccinate our kids
She freaked out and shouted "What?!!! Why??!!!"
I told her:
"I would rather have a doctor do that"
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll never forget what my dad told me right before he kicked the bucket
He said "son, how far do you think I can kick this?"
I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll never forget what my dad said right before he kicked the bucket.
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I’ll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said
“Son”... “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I'll never forget what my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket.
I’ll never forget my grandpa’s last words before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?”
I’ll never forget my grandpa’s last words before he kicked the bucket.
“Hey, you guys wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?”
I'll never forget the last words my dad said before he kicked the bucket..."son, look how far i can kick this bucket"
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket...
I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket...
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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