oof.
oof!
I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing
Why didn't we just zip it in a folder to make it smaller?
Does that make them a “Flo-rida”?
It seriously blows
Would you please just let everything blow over first..
Edit/update:
First let me say that we fortunately weathered the storm well, some damage, not major.
I grew up with a humorous dad, and I appreciate how humor can alleviate stress. Most of you "got it", some of you didn't, some (few) were offended.
I grew up with a dad who taught me the appreciation of MAS*H where Hawkeye Pierce made jokes and quips in a horrible environment (war).
My dad even joked when he got Covid-19, a serious issue at his age, he first told me saying "I tested positive.. I'm pregnant"
That said I want to say Thank You to those that got it.
Riding out a hurricane is a scary and anxiety ridden experience. Each time you commented you made me smile, chuckle and sometimes laugh. It brought a bright spot to an otherwise scary night, if only for a moment it would take my mind off of the raging wind and rain at my door each of the hundreds of times my phone notification went off as this post "blew" up! I can only hope it did the same for others who appreciate humor the way that my dad taught me to.
Thanks r/dadjokes
Godspeed to those still battling this storm and those that will battle the results in the days and weeks to come.
As Jimmy Buffet once said "If we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane"
Whats A tooth fairys favorite movie? Jaws
What kind of animal does a tooth fairy have? A canine
Where does the tooth fairy get her magic? Its just incisor
What a Tooth fairys favorite animal? A Molar bear
What's a tooth fairys favorite element? Tungsten
Whats a Tooth fairys favorite fairy tale? Tonsil and gretle
Whats a tooth fairys favorite dance? The floss
How does the tooth fairy survive a hurricane? She braces for it
Why doesn't the tooth fairy like dental instruments? She finds them obtooth
My wife and I welcomed our new daughter this week. The wife wanted some classic rock while she was pushing. We were all there, the doctor, the main nurse (with whom we were joking all day long) and a few other nurses. This was the moment of truth.
Suddenly, the Scorpions' "Rock you like a hurricane" comes on, and my wife exclaims: "This is exactly what I need to pump me up!! She is going to be a Scorpion!"
To which I replied "Actually, she'll be a Sagittarius"
The nurse looked at me surprised, cracked up, the wife rolled her eyes, and a few breaths later my daughter was born.
I have never been prouder to be a dad.
I guess you could say they were kinda salty!
Her and I always exchange dad jokes. We've been impacted by hurricane Michael and have been away from home for over a week. She looked up a bunch of dad jokes to tell me since I've been busy getting our stuff figured out and been in meetings to get work/job operational once the building/power/water is available.
There was a bad hurricane coming and the farmer gathered all the cows to put in the barn. The young bull refused to go, and the farmer was forced to leave him in the field. The hurricane came and the bull just leaned into the wind and weaved around. The storm mercifully let up after some damage to the barn and other buildings. The cows were very concerned for the young bull and ran out to the field to check on him. One of the older cows asked the young bull why he stayed outside in the storm weaving etc? "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down" was the reply.
I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.
So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.
My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.
I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
I'm a great dad.
My daughter said her class raised a bunch of money for hurricane Harvey. I said, “Why would you that? It’s just going to blow it!”
(While we are watching Old Faithful)
Dad: Did you know each eruption of Old Faithful gets a name?
Me: Like hurricanes? No I didn't
Dad: Yeah, except they all have German names. I think it's because Old Faithful was discovered by Germans.
Me: That's really interesting. What's this one called?
Dad: Geyser Wilhelm.
So I woke up my son by shaking his bed and calling it an earthquake. He did not get up. Then I got a cup of water and sprinkled some in him and said its a flood. Still did not get up. Then I blew in his face and called it a hurricane. Finally I threw his blanket off him and called it a tornado. That worked. He got up. Later I was explaining it to my wife and said he was woken up by some disasters. He chimed in. "More like Dad-sasters".
