Hotter Than Puns

They have more degrees!

Guys reply: that’s because his house is closer to the sun

Dad: that’s odd, it felt hotter than that.

Any hotter than that is uncomfortable

But now they're just super fit and hotter than ever

At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.

To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.

Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.

OF COURSE I DID!!!

He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.

One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:

>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"

I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:

>"No, I'm half left.

I told my wife that the earth's core is hotter than the surface of the sun. She replied 'oh. that's why my feet are always sweaty'.

Him: Yeah the hot wings we have are hotter than Buffalo Wild Wings blazin wings Me: How do you guys make them? Him: We usually just wing it

Because they have more degrees.