Hot Day Puns

He had a liquidation sale.

But I got a lukewarm response

A bit tepid, if you ask me

To be honest, she kinda gave me the cold shoulder

Both are 90 degrees.

I'm guessing he doesn't like that season.

People at the dog park kept calling it "animal cruelty".

Best barber-queue I’ve ever been too

I’m bacon out here!

My wife, without missing a beat, says "Please, Mr. Fan is my father."

our conversation turned into a heated conversation

Me, being fed up with him always boasting, I asked," How could you even do that?"

With a smug smile plastered on his face, he replied," Thermal Signature."

Mice cream cones.

They have a Cold War

Get it? Met-a-four?

But I guess you could always say, beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

“It’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

“Ya see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

The pigs were bacon

I said "whatever blows your hair back"

Popsicles.

Probably won't have it again. It was just a novelty

“Make me one with everything”

Because she put her hair in a bun.

'Would it be cool if I turned on this fan?'

So we were at the local Renaissance festival on labor day and temps were getting up to the 90s. I see a guy carrying ice to one of the shops. Slyly I lean over to the wife and say: " Look honey, that guy has the coolest job."

Consider this one of my finest dad moment.

And I was driving with my dad and my brother, and my brother asked him, "When you go to the store can you get me some flavored water." and my dad replied, "There's already some in the back." So my brother went to the the back of the car and looked and he said, "Dad this is regular water." And my dad replied, " Yah its water flavored water." Cheapskate

I'm bacon

A mice cream cone