Hossein Amini Puns

Assadollah Alam, Minister of Court: “Your Majesty, please, the people won’t stand for this! You need to do something.”

 

The Shah: “Fine, Assadollah, see if I care. My dynasty is going up in flames, my closest friends have shamelessly betrayed me to the British, and you want to talk about my popularity.”

 

Alam: “Well… sir, the thing is, you have many supporters. People look to you as an icon of national resistance against imperialism, all you need to do is make your domestic policies tolerable to them.”

 

The Shah: “Ok, Assadollah, stop nagging me. I’ve got many strong women in my life already, and you know how I feel about that.”

 

Alam: “Right. Women are emotional creatures unfit for rule. Anyways, all I’m saying, and Ashraf - never mind. All I’m saying is that the people want more democracy and less military interference. You can keep your role in diplomacy and policy creation, I’m sure no one cares enough to risk a civil war over that.”

 

The Shah: “So that means… I would have the power to… erm…”

 

Alam: “Yes, your Majesty, you could keep your role in defense planning. Including weapons purchases, a-“

 

The Shah: “Ok.”

 

Alam: “I know you have an interest in the petro- ok?”

 

The Shah: “I said ok. Now go before I change my mind.”

 

Later

 

Alam: “No, I’m serious. I think he’s done some thinking about what makes him happy and he’s retrenched, so to speak. Honestly? Not such a bad choice on his part. Maybe not so good for the rest of us. Or you, really. I’ll be fine.”

 

Abdollah Riazi, Speaker of the Majis: “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

Hassan Ali Mansur, Former Prime Minister: “Are you sure His Majesty actually agreed to this?”

 

Hossein Ala, Former Prime Minister, Elder Statesman: “Assadollah, is this some kind of joke?”

 

Alam: “Would I lie to y-“

 

Riazi, Mansur, Ala: “Yes.”

 

Alam: “Ok, think about it this way then. Do you really want to risk this without knowing for sure whether the Shah will actually call up the troops to bail you out?”

 

 

> ### “Clientelism and the formation of the Central State in Iran,” Henderson, University of Chicago Press, 1961

 

> Historically, attempts at democratic representation in Iran were stymied by the simple

In the aftermath of the failed 21 Aban Coup attempt, life in Iran has seemingly slowed down. The government operates largely on autopilot - most of the Shah’s political figures are either in a state of paralysis as the Shah himself retreats into depression due to the betrayal of his close friends Fardoust and Khatami. As a result, the professional civil service, never entirely friendly with the Pahlavi regime even while they benefited financially and socially from it, has ended up largely controlling the workings of the state.

The Shah has not been seen in public for over a week, but he is reportedly “inconsolable.” None of his advisers can reach him for a decision on how to respond to the protests. Even his closest advisers, Court Minister Assadollah Alam and Imperial Guards commander Nematollah Nassiri, have come under great suspicion. Yet, with the Shah himself essentially disabled, what decision-making that does occur in the national security establishment he created is largely done by more moderate figures - hardliners are now distrusted by both the elite political establishment and the opposition, while the moderates are seen as at least usable albeit somewhat distasteful.

General Hassan Pakravan, commander of the Pasdaran paramilitary organization, has seen his credibility somewhat diminished by the role of the Pasdaran in the coup, but his record of humane treatment and his quick reaction to the crisis has led to most of the blame falling upon Artesh Chief of Staff Abdolhossein Hejazi and Defense Minister Reza Azimi, who somehow failed to notice almost an entire armored brigade leaving Khuzestan for Tehran.

 

Unknown Location, Tehran, Iran, 24 Aban, 1377, 5:54 Local Time

 

> Military Figures

> Abdolhossein Hejazi, Chief of the General Staff - Exiled

> Reza Azimi, War Minister - Dismissed

> Abdollah Hedayat, Commander of the Ground Forces - Exiled

> Hassan Alivikia, Chief of the Deuxieme Bureau - Arrested

> Nasser Moghaddam, Deputy Chief of the Imperial Inspectorate - Arrested

> Hasan Arfa, Former Chief of the General Staff - To be exiled

> Ahmad Vosuk, Colonel in the Imperial Guards - Dead

> Hossein Fardoust, Chief of the Imperial Inspectorate - At large, likely fled the country

> Bahram Aryana, Former Major General and Prime Minister - At large, likely fled the country

> Mustafa Amjadi, Colonel in Pasdaran - Arrested

> Hassan Akhavi, Deputy Chief of the General

After a number of assassinations against popular political figures like land reform advocate Hasan Arsanjani, Iran Party deputy leader Hossein Fatemi, and most recently another attempt on Prime Minister Ali Amini, the radical Islamist organization Fada'iyan-e Islam has been banned in Iran. Leader Navvab Safavi has been arrested and sentenced to life in prison for treason - the judge who handed down the sentence narrowly escaped an assassination attempt of his own.

Nationwide, the news has been met with silence from more moderate Islamic scholars such as Ayatollahs Shariatmadari, Behbahani, and Borujerdi (on his deathbed). Moderate scholars have been unanimous in condemning the Fada'iyan-e Islam assassination campaign, but are obviously more leery about openly supporting a campaign of state suppression against fellow believers. Most have simply retreated behind the guise of “political quietism.” One Ruhollah Khomeini has been particularly loud in condemning the move, however, and has drawn a large following of Fada'iyan-e Islam and Mohajedin-e Islam supporters. Similarly, Safavi’s mentor Kashani has continued his protests in Tehran and led riots against the government, which he accuses of being simply a continuation of the Shah’s strictly secular and dictatorial government.

However, most average people and especially members of the intelligentsia, civil service, bazaaris, and military have welcomed the move. Those particular classes were the main targets of the Islamist violence are are obviously happy to see the government acting on the threat. Without the intellectual and financial backing of most of the educated classes, antigovernment protests have noticeably declined. Even protestors opposed to the Amini ministry have been reluctant to ally with the Islamists. Instead, the middle classes and their representatives in the Toilers and Iran parties have informally allowed the Amini ministry to crack down on political Islamism.

While Islamism is no doubt distasteful for secular figures like Mossadegh and Maleki, another motive is undoubtedly the competition between Islamists and secular nationalists for the affections of the people. While their actual platforms are dramatically opposed, both were for a long time the only credible opposition to the Shah and as a result competed for the same support base. With the nationalists seemingly betting their chances on peaceful reconciliation and constitutional change, it seems natural that they seek to destroy th

Chaos on the streets of Tehran!

Former Interior Minister Jamshid Amouzegar, once considered a rising star in Iran's political scene, was assassinated last night. Amouzegar was widely held responsible for the violent actions of the secret police and Shahrbani in the months leading up to the Ordibehesht protests. A promising foreign-trained technocrat, Amouzegar had served in a number of minor posts in various coalition governments before being promoted to Interior Minister as a replacement for his military predecessor, who in turn had replaced Mohammad Mossadegh. Obviously unable to live up to the reputation of Mossadegh, who had done everything in his power to subvert royalist and military authority to promote civil liberties, Amouzegar quickly became despised for his failure to completely roll back the abuses of the 1954 military government.

He was shot from a passing car while entering his Tehran home at around midnight - the perpetrators were caught and are members of the radical Islamist party Fada'iyan-e Islam. Allegedly, Amouzegar's assassination was personally approved by Ayatollah Kashani and Navvab Safavi, the leader of Fada'iyan-e's armed wing.

Amouzegar is another in a string of victims of Islamist violence since Ordibehesht. Most recently, the controversial secularist Ahmad Kasravi was killed in broad daylight by a Fada'iyan-e gunman - once arrested he was nearly freed again by a mob of Islamists before the military intervened, killing an estimated 20 Fada'iyan-e supporters in the process. Former Royalist Court Ministers Hossein Ala and Manouchehr Eghbal, both respected "wise men" of the national political scene, have also experienced close brushes with death, Finance Minister Ali Amini, and Iran Party "Shadow Agriculture Minister" Hasan Arsanjani has been severely injured for his support of the confiscation of clerical properties.

While Amouzegar's death has been received with little grief from even his own compatriots and often even a little fanfare, the assassination attempts on Kasravi, Amini, and Arsanjani have been roundly denounced even by the opposition Iran Party. Furthermore, prominent clerics, including Hossein Borujerdi and Mohammad Kazem Shariatmadari, have also denounced the Fada'iyan-e assassination campaign.

However, it also appears as if the assassinations have been having their intended effect. Criticism of the protests and overt support of state secularism on the part of government figures has become far more muted, and

> Between 1946 and 1954, an unprecedented eight years, General Fazlollah Zahedi was the dominating force in Iranian political life. No Prime Minister during the tumultuous era of the occupation and the years immediately following it had even survived for a year. Even Zahedi's immediate successors, who inherited a stabilized political system and a Shah sometimes willing to make compromises with Parliamentary rule, rarely survived for more than two or three years. Zahedi's chief strength was his informal hold on the military, which the Shah relied upon to hold power. While he had such influence, the Shah was reluctant to curb his power. Furthermore, Zahedi was an opportunistic and unprincipled leader, willing to instate whatever policies the Shah requested. All this made for a long and productive, though not entirely friendly relationship between the Shah and his General, as they were commonly known in the foreign press.

> By the early 1950s, the Iranian Army had grown flush with oil revenues, and the ranks of the "Cossack clique" which had originally brought Reza Shah into power were rapidly diminishing as a result of retirements and combat losses in the Azeri conflict. A quick glance at the holders of various officers confirms this trend. Ahmad Amir-Ahmadi, a close associate of Reza Shah and a key figure in the pre-1941 military, departed after the 1949 elections on account of age. Jafar Shafagant, first commander of the Imperial Guards, was killed by an Azeri car bomb. Teymur Bakhtiar, thought to be a rising star in the military elite and a successor to Shafagant, was killed in the same attack. By 1952, the ranks of the army below Major General were almost entirely filled with "new men." These officers recruited in the Mohammad Reza Shah age generally attended foreign universities and received extensive American training. Officers from the Air Force began to rapidly rise in the ranks, many of whom trained directly with the USAF and received their wings in Colorado Springs.

> Unlike the young officers in Iraq, Syria, and Egypt, Iran's rising military class had few inclinations towards revolution. They largely originated from the same military families which had provided the core of the old elité, and their service abroad served only to embed them further into the rising professional upper-middle class. Future Air Force Chief of Staff Nader Jahanbani was born into a prominent aristocratic family and went to a foreign school. Even a relatively pro

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why