what do you have after milking the holy cow?

legendairy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naked_guy47
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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Holy Cow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doge_For_Bones
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Holy cow, 420K members!! This sub is Dope.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Holy cow!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MHHZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Holy Cow it’s a Holy Cow!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pale_Society
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Holy cow!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fwipojr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2017
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Throwback to my Halloween costume 2 years ago. Oh Deer and Holy Cow imgur.com/JOW7HG2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungryhufflepuffs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Our punny Halloween costumes: Oh Dear and Holy Cow! imgur.com/gallery/h0UKwkb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungryhufflepuffs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
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Holy Cow (x-post from r/pics)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inb4takenusername
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2013
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Holy cow!

http://imgur.com/9lgosM8

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuddyGoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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Holy Cow

So we're on vacation in Florida at Silver Springs (this is a kind of zoo amusement park place). I'm walking around with my dad and we see this massive turtle. I look at the turtle and say "Holy cow!" My dad turns to me and says loud enough for everyone around us to hear: "No Sam, that's a turtle."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steven_scramkos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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Two muffins were in an oven...

One muffin says to the other, "it's really hot in here."

The other one responded with, "holy cow, a talking muffin!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/devildocjames
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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What is the most common exclamation in India?

Holy cow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edward_Williams
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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[On an aeroplane] Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet in the air.

Me, to my wife: Holy cow! There’s no way this plane has 15,000 people!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What do you call a cow with a halo

Holy cow!!

Tell me your best holy cow jokes.πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizard360
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter.

How dairy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditjwh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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A Dad joke planted as a seed, which took 17 years to flower.

Not quite as tragic, but it manifested into something which has haunted me at my job for years.

When I was a little kid learning about the world around me, my dad was naturally the font of all knowledge for me, He would answer all of little snippersmith's questions with his own unique insights and anecdotes teaching me of my surroundings with varying degrees of accuracy.

One day In a picture book, I encountered a photo of one of natures most bizarre creatures, the mighty duck billed platypus. Filled with curiosity of this bizarre creature and an Inability to read a young snippersmith asked his father what this creature was called, To which his father replied,

That's a Quackopotamous.....

As is a highly likely situation in day to day life the Platypus (or indeed the Quackopotamous), did not come into conversation for another 17 years, Until of course the Platypus came into conversation around the lunch table at a now grown up snippersmith's full time place of work.

I have not been allowed to forget I thought the Platypus was called a Quackopotamous, Indeed I am reminded on a daily basis by my colleagues, by my nickname Quackopotamous .

Thanks Dad.

EDIT 1: Holy Cow this took off! Gold! thank you so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snippersmith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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I saw someone eating a burger in church the other day...

Holy Cow!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Belly Jons." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teachdis
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Dad joked the wife

Me: Tom's baby weighed in the 100th percentile. Wife: Holy cow! Me: Don't call him that.

And the crowd went wild.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttsucker4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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A man threw some steak into a church.

Everyone exclaimed, "holy cow!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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My Mom just got me...

We were talking about jam that I made 11 years ago. I didn't dissolve the sugar properly, so Mom froze it, and will cook it down a bit before eating it.

She just found a jar that didn't need to be cooked down, and let me know. I replied "Holy cow! That's nuts!"

Her response? "No, it's not nuts! It's strawberry!! You must be thinking about peanut butter! lol"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Pilot : Ladies and Gentlemen, we are 30,000 feet in the air

Me to my wife : Holy Cow ! There's no way this plane has 15,000 !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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What do you call a cow full of bullets?

Holy Cow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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What type of dairy cattle do they get milk for Swiss cheese?

Holy cow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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