Hms Venerable Puns

Author's Note: If anyone wants to record this for their YouTube channel or something, feel free, all I ask is that you credit me for it (obviously), and send me a message with the link. :)

T-minus 6 days, 14 hours, 33 minutes

Crath swore briefly at the smoking console, before pointing the - vastly more effective - fire extinguisher at it. He really shouldn't have skipped the last maintenance cycle, and now he was going to pay for his lapse in judgement. Navigation was out, controls were mostly shot, and he was rapidly - too rapidly - approaching the atmosphere of a dead world. The only things still working were... well, comms were still operational, and the emergency signal was bleating like frightened livestock.

"This is the Terran cargo hauler Australia receiving your emergency signal, please confirm and identify?"

Crath scrambled for the communications console, "This is the Ruthlegan cargo freighter Lithe Songbird, I've lost navigation and most of my controls due to maintenance failure, and need help rather urgently. Currently on approach vector toward Rethis III. Can you provide assistance?"

A pause, "That's a bit out of our way, we're headed the opposite... please hold..."

Crath frowned. He had heard humans were usually ready to go through hell to save a lost ship, but if they were headed the opposite direction, a course change would cost... "Lithe Songbird, are you still there?"

Crath exhaled slowly, "Still here, Australia, though time is passing... do you have some good news for me?"

"Yes and no, we're already coming about to Rethis, but between course corrections and gravity wells, we're five to six standard days away from Rethis III. Do you think you can maintain orbit until then?"

Crath looked at the viewscreen, and the myriad of blackened, dead keys on the consoles, "Not really, I'll be lucky to not break up on impact with the atmosphere..."

A small pause again, "Understood, Lithe Songbird. We'll be there as soon as the drive can handle it, and hope to find you alive. We'll make sure to bring you home, one way or another."

Crath nodded slowly, "I'll try to land at least somewhat intact... she's built for re-entry, but the angle isn't good. Lithe Songbird, out, and I hope to see you in five to six..."

"Australia, out. Good luck."

---

T-minus 6 days, 14 hours, 22 minutes

Crath cast a quick glance in a mirror, and plucked out a few singed hairs from when the console exploded, when the comms console

> Lalalaaa… gaaateee… lalaaa… paaaraaagaateeee! Happyyy… parasomegateeeee… bodhi svahaaaaa!

Xuanzang Sanzang was a Buddhist priest that traveled the Silk Road in search of scriptures. Along with her conglomeration of disciples, she faced outer and inner demons on the path to enlightenment.

In the Camelot Singularity, Sanzang appeared within the desert of Ozymandias by accident, and traveled the land in search of… nothing, really. She was just happy to be there. She stayed with the pharaohs as well as the Lion King, being the only one allowed to leave the Holy City after entering. However, after meeting Ritsuka Fujimaru and Mash Kyrielight, she decided to lend them her aid, even if she agreed with the Lion King's aim.

Thanks to u/Cleverly_Clearly and u/Wapulatus for helping go through material. Thanks to u/virlex15 for providing Grand Order profile scans.

#Key

#Strength

• Blasts through an Enforcement Knight^WA
• Blocks an attack from (Saber) Lancelot^PA
• Knocks Mordred backward despite her attempt to block^PA
• Breaks rocks burying Fujimaru^GO

#Durability

• Gets caught in Mordred's energy sword^PA

#Speed

• Dodges a slash from (Saber) Lancelot^PA
• Runs faster than an army, but slower than cavalry^PA
• Spins her staff to deflect arrows^PA

#Skill

Class Skills

Territory Creation (A+): One can create a “Workshop”, which is an advantageous position for themselves as a mage. Because Xuanzang Sanzang possesses Rank A in this, it is possible to create a “Temple”, which is superior to a “Workshop”. (Strictly speaking, because the orientation of her school of Magecraft is different, the territory created by Xuanzang Sanzang is not designated as a “Workshop”. Also, it excels in timeliness in regard to its creation, so the practicality of cr

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Raw

Translation

The raws + quick translations will be typed here after the raws are released.

Mangadex replacement for newest episodes (temporary):

https://cubari.moe/read/gist/JYZQw/

(we uploaded the special hiatus episodes + everything from 3-161 onwards)

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Translator(s):

Tierra, Mendota

Typing helper:

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------------------------translations start below this line ------------------------------

[] indicates sura speech

- in the king's chamber, people talking -

?: 이쯤이면 마성마법공격에 대한

소식이 신계에 도달했겠군.

The news about a fiendish magic attack

must have reached the god realm by now.

그 기사단의 후예도

경기장에 와 있습니다.

The descendants of the knight order are also coming to the stadium. (?)

The descendants of the knight order/knightage have also arrived in the stadium.

그럼 이제 시작인가?

우린 자리를 피하도록 하지.

Is this the beginning?

Let's try to not get involved.

Is it starting now?

We'll take our leave now

앞으로는 네가 마음먹기에 달렸다.

열여섯 번 째 다크샤(Daksha)여.

From now on, the future depends on your choice,

venerable 16th Daksha.

우리는 네게 강제하지 않는다.

그때도, 그리고 지금도,

We will not force/pressure you.

Back then, and right now, too,

We don't force/pressure you.

Back then, and right now, too

선택은 네가 하는 것이고,

책임도 네가 지는 것이지.

the choice is yours,

and the responsibility is also yours.

우리는 선대 왕들과의

약속에 따라 그대를

도운 것입니다.

We honored the promise/oath to the previous kings

and helped you.

살날이 얼마

남지 않은 그대는,

You have not many days left to live,

- the people around the king vanish in white light -

이제 조금이라도

죄업을 줄이는 길이

어느 쪽인지 잘 생각해

보아야 할 거예요.

and now you have to carefully think about

how to reduce your sins, even if only by a little bit.

and now you will have to-

King: .....

16대 다크샤 / 인간의 왕

16th Daksha / King of Humans

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Season 3 Episode 221

Ananta (10)

-----------------------------------------------

- view into the arena, people talking -

?: 뭐야 이게... 당일에

갑자기 취소라니.

What's with this...

Suddenly cancelling it on the same day.

짜증나. 신성마법사가

장악한 곳에서 좋은 대접

까진 기대도 안했지만

How annoying.

I didn't expect to be treated well

in a place controlled by divine magicians,

//최소한의 상식은

있어야지, 이거 대놓고

엿 먹이려는 거잖아.

but they should at least h

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

About a month ago I posted a post about 3 fanmade Venerables I came with on the go. After reading more RI I decided to flesh these characters out.

To preface I'm still not caught up to the latest ch I'm around 2020, but I like the world of RI and its fighting system so much that I just couldn't help myself from expanding on it.

In my headcount I place these venerable before the destruction of Fate gu and they are trying to revive now.

I know that some of this information might contradict the established canon, but please keep in mind, that's the point of a fanfic, some things in canon I deliberately changed to fit the narrative.

The first Venerable I want to flesh out is One Sovereign Demon Venerable.

Ambition: To become the ever ruling monarch of the 5 regions and 2 heavens

Gender: Male

Age: 10,000 years

Region of origin: Central Continent

Era: Late Antiquity Era, after Spectral Soul but before Paradise Earth

Main Path:

Sovereign Path - sovereign path is extremely unique, it is derived from human path (it has its unique dao marks) and heavily influenced by rule, soul, wisdom, enslavement, transformation and strength path. This is because the must dumbed down explanation of how Dao marks work is the following: There are always 2 sovereign dao marks that act as a pair. one remains on the Gu Immortal at is the "king" mark while the second invades the surrounding objects and acts as the "retainer" dao mark, so if it invades mountain that becomes the "domain" of the Gu immortal if it invades a human, they become "retainers". I think its obvious why human path is connected to sovereign path, but I want to mention how the previous six are connected.

1. Rule path, wisdom path and its concepts help a Sovereign path immortal "rule" his domain, establishing rules within a domain can become reality, forced by the sovereign path dao marks.
2. Soul path and enslavement path attainments helps with acquiring retainers be it humans, variant humans, beasts or plants.
3. Transformation path and strength path help strengthen and polish a Gu immortals body, another unique aspect about sovereign path dao marks is that they are more efficient and stronger the stronger the Immortal is.

One Sovereign's personality:

In short, he is extremely proud, angry at the world, skeptical and narcissistic. To put it into perspective, his wife is a female clone of himself, and all of his most trusted "retainers" are his clones.

Best quote to represent him:

“A king must be wise

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Air Force

1. Vickers has been privately developing a new light attack aircraft under the Supermarine brand, details of which are to be revealed in early 1964.

2. No.37, No.38, and No.224 maritime patrol squadrons have been placed on high alert.

3. Avro Vulcans from No.83 bomber squadron will be deployed to RAF Akrotiri for training exercises, alongside Bloodhound Surface to Air Missiles of No.112 squadron.

4. Hunter FGA.9s from no.1 and no.54 squadrons alongside Hunter F.6s from no.65 squadron will be deployed to RAF Nicosia.

5. The aerospace assets of Vickers, English Electric and Hunting Aircraft have been merged with Avro to form Avro-Vickers. Avro, Vickers, and English Electric each own 30% in this new merger, whilst Hunting Aircraft has a mere 10%.

6. Hawker-Siddeley has acquired the government shares of Short Brothers plc for a publicly undisclosed sum.

7. The first Hawker Hydra F.1s have entered service with the RAF, equipping no.93 squadron at RAF North Weald. A further seven squadrons will be equipped over the next three years.

8. Following talks with the United States in 1961, Britain has begun the installation of its new Nike Zeus A sites in Norfolk, Suffolk, Essex, & Lincolnshire, with the first site onlining in 1964. one-hundred-four 20-kiloton archangel warheads are to be constructed to equip these missiles at a rate of twenty-six per year.

9. A number of Hawker Hunter F.6s are to be refitted with the AI.20 radar and hardpoints for the firestreak missile. This refit is to be classed as the Hunter F.14 and will be provided to No.65 squadron in Cyprus.

10. Work is to begin on a combined stores systems for the Hunter FGA.9 and Hydra F.1, combined fuel storage with an ordnance payload.

11. Avro-Vickers has begun work on a new upgrade variant of the venerable Shackleton, increasing wing strength and engine power to keep the design relevant for a minimum of a decade. The new variant will be named the Shackleton MR.4, with details released at a later date.

12. Avro-Vickers is also hoping to present the design for a new turbofan powered patrol aircraft based on the new VC-10 design.

Navy

13. S class submarine HMS Sea Devil will be replaced in the Mediterranean with P class submarines HMS Rorqual and HMS Narwhal and Super A class HMS Amphion. Modified T class submarine HMS Teredo and Super T class submarine HMS Tabard will be redeployed south of Suez for patrol operations, based out of Steamer Point.

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Nothing, he was gladiator.

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!