The Federal Republican Presidential Nomination of 1908 | Peacock-Shah Alternate Elections

The Federal Republican Party has remained the largest of the three national parties, yet has found itself in a series of razor-thin losses as uniting figures such as William McKinley scramble to rectify emerging internal divisions. With three famous progressives, two septuagenarian conservatives, and a civil rights leader throwing their hats into the ring for the party's nomination for the presidency amidst an expansion of the primary system, the stage has been set for a long anticipated contest.

#The Candidates

Theodore Roosevelt: 50 year old New York Governor Theodore Roosevelt left the office of Speaker of the House in 1897 to become the second grand hero of the Pacific War, and while his star never shined as bright as Admiral George Dewey's, he was a symbol of American resolve to countless during the Aleutian Islands campaign, with copies of his speech rallying troops prior to the Japanese assault upon Kodiak Island circulated across the world, hailed as one of the greatest orations of the era. Roosevelt returned home to help lead the new Progressive Party of Aaron Burr Houston, winning election as Governor of New York in 1900 only to resign after weeks in office to join the cabinet of President Dewey as Secretary of the Navy, where he would serve as the administration's chief hawk and play a key role in the temporary split with Germany over Venezuelan debt. Yet, Roosevelt's prior support of Great Britain has evaporated since the Invasion of Mexico, with Roosevelt praising German support for American and Porfiriato troops. Roosevelt runs as a strong supporter of the Mexican War and of imperialism generally, adding to that his appeal as a leading progressive, having even endorsed the traditionally Farmer-Laborite proposal of land value taxation. Additionally, Roosevelt once tacitly remained in the dry camp on the issue of prohibition, while finally shifting to support its repeal and local temperance, giving him appeal to every faction within the party on the issue. Roosevelt's supporters herald him as a uniting figure to reclaim the progressive mantle for the party, while his opponents such as Mark Twain deride what they view as his cult of personality.

Robert M. La Follette: 53 year old Wisconsin Senator and former Vice President Robert M. La Follette entered Congress at age 27 and quickly rose to become a lieutenant to the marshal of Federal Republican progressivism, Speaker John D. White, carrying the mantle to the governor's office, wher

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Mr. TheNewMrToastโ€™s Ideal Timeline Wikipedia Code

{{Short description|none}} {{Use American English|date=June 2021}} {{Use mdy dates|date=April 2017}} {{Politics of the United States}} {{pp|small=yes}}

The [[president of the United States]] is the [[head of state]] and [[head of government]] of the United States,<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Rossiter|first=Clinton|author-link=Clinton Rossiter|date=1962|title=Powers of the United States President and Congress|journal=Pakistan Horizon|volume=15|publisher=[[Pakistan Institute of International Affairs]]|issue=2|page=86|jstor=41392704}}</ref> [[indirectly elected]] to a four-year [[Term of office|term]] by the American people through the [[United States Electoral College|Electoral College]].<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Shugart|first=Matthew S.|author-link=Matthew Sรธberg Shugart|date=2004|title=Elections': The American Process of Selecting a President: A Comparative Perspective|journal=[[Presidential Studies Quarterly]]|publisher=[[Center for Congressional and Presidential Studies]]|volume=34|issue=3|pages=633โ€“636|doi=10.1111/j.1741-5705.2004.00216.x|jstor=27552617}}</ref> The officeholder leads the [[Executive (government)|executive branch]] of the [[Federal government of the United States|federal government]] and is the [[commander-in-chief]] of the [[United States Armed Forces]].<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Fairman|first=Charles|date=1949|title=The President as Commander-in-Chief.|journal=[[The Journal of Politics]]|publisher=[[University of Chicago Press]]|volume=11|issue=1|pages=145โ€“146|doi=10.2307/2126503|jstor=2126503|s2cid=155029239}}</ref>

Since the office was established in 1789, 45 people<!-- DO NOT change this number; forty-five (45) is CURRENT and CORRECT. While the incumbent president, Joe Biden, is the nation's 46th president, he is only the 45th person to serve as president. This is because Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms and is numbered as both the 22nd and 24th U.S. president. --> have served in 46 presidencies. The first president, [[George Washington]], won a unanimous vote of the Electoral College;<ref>{{Cite book|last=Matuz|first=Roger|title=Complete American Presidents Sourcebook|publisher=UXL|year=2001|isbn=978-0-7876-4842-8|page=xxii|lccn=00056794|ol=24722725M}}</ref> one, [[Grover Cleveland]], served two non-consecutive terms and is therefore counted as the 22nd and 24th president of the United States, giving rise to the discrepancy between the number of presidents and the nu

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The Best Timeline | Peacock-Shah Alternate Elections

These are all candidates from Peacock-Shah's Alternate Elections, and I gave myself the rule that the results of all elections that are between 1788 and 1800 have to remain the same and that 1804 must be won by a Federalist so that there is some change within the timeline.

Elections (bold is who I would have win):

1788: George Washington vs. No one

1792: George Washington vs. No one

1796: John Adams vs. Thomas Jefferson

1800: John Adams vs. Thomas Jefferson

1804: John Marshall vs. Thomas Jefferson

1808: John Marshall vs. James Madison

1812: Charles C. Pinckney vs. William H. Crawford

1816: John Quincy Adams vs. William H. Crawford

1820: John Quincy Adams vs. James Monroe

1824: Henry Clay vs. Daniel D. Tompkins

1828: Daniel Webster vs. Sam Houston

1832: Louis McLane vs. Sam Houston

1836: Joseph Ritner vs. Martin Van Buren

1840: Joseph Ritner vs. Levi Woodbury

1844: Edward Everett vs. Richard M. Johnson

1848: Winfield Scott vs. Richard M. Johnson

1852: Winfield Scott vs. John A. Dix

1856: William G. Brownlow vs. John A. Dix

1860: John McLean vs. Salmon P. Chase

1864: William H. Seward vs. Salmon P. Chase vs. Lyman Trumbull

1868: Zachariah Chandler vs. Henry S. Foote vs. Nathaniel P. Banks

1872: Zachariah Chandler vs. Edwin Stanton vs. Hendrick B. Wright

1876: Benjamin Bristow vs. Hiram R. Revels vs. Wendell Philips

1880: Shelby M. Cullom vs. Hiram R. Revels vs. John Bidwell

1884: Frederick Douglas vs. James Longstreet vs. Ignatius Donnelly

1888: John Sherman vs. James Longstreet vs. Henry George

1892: John Sherman vs. P. G. T. Bureaugard vs. Terence V. Powderly

1896: John D. White vs. George A. Custer vs. Adelbert Ames

1900: John D. White vs. George Dewey vs. Hazen S. Pingree

Presidents:

  1. George Washington (1789-1797)
  2. John Adams (1797-1801)
  3. Thomas Jefferson (1801-1805)
  4. John Marshall (1805-1813)
  5. William H. Crawford (1813-1817)
  6. John Quincy Adams (1817-1825)
  7. Daniel D. Tompkins (1825-1829)
  8. Sam Houston (1829-1837)
  9. Joseph Ritner (1837-1845)
  10. Richard M. Johnson (1845-1849)
  11. Winfield Scott (1849-1853)
  12. John A. Dix (1853-1861)
  13. Salmon P. Chase (1861-1869)
  14. Zachariah Chandler (1869-1877)
  15. Hiram R. Revels (1877-1885)
  16. James Longstreet (1885-1889)
  17. John Sherman (1889-1897)
  18. John D. White (1897-1905)
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The Federal Republican Primaries & Convention of 1896 | Peacock-Shah Alternate Elections

With Federal Republican parties in states such as Tennessee, Kentucky, and Wisconsin implementing primaries, the party shall see its first, very partially, direct presidential nomination as an aging conservative from the frigid Northeast challenges a Southwestern progressive.

Aaron Burr Houston: 42 year old incumbent President Aaron Burr Houston has led the progressive Federal Republicans to control the party. Houston has presided over the passage of laws raising tariffs, regulating railroads, enforcing prohibition, fought for an amendment directly electing senators, and accepted civil rights legislation while expanding the military and working to annex Hawaii. After narrowly losing the nomination of the opposition Farmer-Labor Party despite not lifting a finger in attempting to win it, Houstonโ€™s ally Theodore Roosevelt, who shall likely be his running mate if Houston wins a landslide, has worked to build a strong campaign for the President and ensure his renomination with appeals to every faction within the party, arguing to conservatives that Houston remains the partyโ€™s strongest candidate and branding Eugene Hale as a "malevolent enemy of the navy."

Eugene Hale: 60 year old Maine Senator Eugene Hale is the candidate of the partyโ€™s dedicated conservatives and anti-imperialists, who hail Haleโ€™s rise from rags to riches and contrast it to Houstonโ€™s position as the son of a President. Hale, who entered politics as a Federalist years ago, is a leading member of the partyโ€™s conservative wing and has opposed most progressive legislation while strongly supporting tariff increases, a national sales tax to replace the income tax, and prohibition, nonetheless, he takes a differing view of foreign policy from many conservatives and has opposed the annexation of Hawaii, arguing that the United States although should maintain a strong navy to protect itself and ensure peace, it should not enter into foreign entanglements. He supported early efforts to expand the navy but has criticized Houston for running a deficit due to military spending, and has thus promised to cut the military budget. He is a supporter of civil rights legislation and has made courting black voters a priority, noting that Houston only permitted civil rights to pass in return for direct senate elections. A cold and aloof man, he has not utilized his rare yet sarcastically biting oratory to campaign in person, although his campaign managers have made speeches on his behalf.

**William

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A Summary of President Aaron Burr Houston's Term (1893-1897) | Peacock-Shah Alternate Elections

Aaron Burr Houston, 21st President of the United States (1893-1897)

Administration:

Vice President: Richard J. Oglesby

Secretary of State: Nathaniel P. Banks (1893-1894 (died)), Shelby M. Cullom (1894-1897)

Secretary of the Treasury: John D. White (1893-1896 (appointed to the Supreme Court)), Seth Low (1896-1897)

Secretary of War: Galusha Grow

Attorney General: Louis Brandeis

Secretary of the Navy: Theodore Roosevelt (1893-1895 (resigned to take office in Congress)), Henry S. Boutell (1895-1897)

Secretary of the Interior: Joseph M. Carey

Postmaster General: Charles J. Bonaparte

Secretary of Agriculture: Watson Squire

Secretary of Labor: William M.O. Dawson

Houston disconcerted much of his party with his cabinet selections, selecting leading progressives for every office. 1864 Labor nominee and the founder of the Labor Party Nathaniel P. Banks was selected to serve as Secretary of State despite being 76 years of age, and he served until his death at age 78, after which he was replaced by Illinois Senator Shelby M. Cullom. John D. White, the fallen hero who had built the progressive faction of the party, was selected as Secretary of the Treasury and served until his 1896 appointment to the Supreme Court, after which he was replaced by New York Governor Seth Low. Galusha Grow, another aging progressive and a stringent expansionist, was chosen for the War Department, while 36 year old New York lawyer Louis Brandeis was plucked from obscurity to serve as Attorney General.

Theodore Roosevelt was Houston's initial Secretary of the Navy, yet stepped down to run for Congress, and was replaced by Henry Boutell of Illinois. Wyoming's Joseph M. Carey was selected to serve as Secretary of the Interior while French-American Marylander Charlie Bonaparte was given the Postal Service, 1888 Progressive Vice-Presidential candidate William M.O. Dawson was made Secretary of Labor and Washington Senator Watson Squire was chosen to serve as Secretary of Agriculture.

Nathaniel P. Banks, who founded the Labor Party, led the Workingman's Party in the House, and ran twice for the presidency was selected at age 76 to serve as Secretary of State.

Foreign Policy:

-An 1890 letter to a โ€œMr. Wangโ€ deta

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Every single random streamer mode name in Rust

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

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Presidential Election of 1912

Following America's non-armed intervention in the Great European War against socialist France, Whig President Roosevelt has chosen not to run for a fourth term. The Whig candidate is instead James S. Sherman, who hopes to capitalize on Roosevelt's success in the war.

The Democrats, who haven't had a president in office since 1897, run New Jersey governor Woodrow Wilson, who criticizes Roosevelt's poor handling of the Panic of 1910, as well as what he sees as his concessions to the "savages" following the Sioux Revolt. The Popular Party, meanwhile, run Hiram Johnson, intent on pursuing a progressive agenda and American isolationism.

View Poll

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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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U.S. Senatorial Battle Royale (suggestions)

Hi guys, so I came across u/CyrusNavarre's post about a Battle Royale between U.S. Senators here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/thecampaigntrail/comments/qmbrly/us_senate_battle_royale_announcement/

I thought it was a great idea, so I compiled a list of all of the most popular or distinguished politicians in every state. I limited myself to 4 of each person. For politicians whose roles were unknown, I just chose those who had been Senate Majority/Minority Leader for a decent amount of time or had a great amount of time in the Senate. Without further ado:

Fictional Senate Races

Alabama

George Wallace (D) vs John Sparkman (D) vs William R. King (D) vs Oscar Underwood (D)

Jeff Sessions (R) vs Condoleezza Rice (R) vs Richard Shelby (R) vs Tommy Tuberville (R)

Alaska

William A. Egan (D) vs Tony Knowles (D) vs Mike Gravel (D) vs Ernest Gruening (D)

Sarah Palin (R) vs Lisa Murkowski (R) vs Frank Murkowski (R) vs Sean Parnell (R)

Arizona

Mo Udall (D) vs Krysten Sinema (D) vs Ernest McFarland (D) vs Bruce Babbitt (D)

Barry Goldwater (R) vs John McCain (R) vs Evan Mecham (R) vs John Kyl (R)

Arkansas

Bill Clinton (D) vs Orval Faubus (D) vs Joseph Robinson (D) vs Wesley Clark (D)

Mike Huckabee (R) vs Tom Cotton (R) vs Winthrop Rockefeller (R) vs Asa Hutchison (R)

California

Pat Brown (D) vs Jerry Brown (D) vs Barbara Boxer (D) vs Kamala Harris (D)

Richard Nixon (R) vs Ronald Reagan (R) vs Earl Warren (R) vs John Fremont (R)

Colorado

Gary Hart (D) vs John Hickenlooper (D) vs Mark Udall (D) vs Richard Lamm (D)

Henry M. Teller (R) vs Bill Owens (R) vs John Arthur Love (R) vs Gordon Allott (R)

Connecticut

Joe Liebermann (D) vs Abraham Ribicoff (D) vs Chris Dodd (D) vs Thomas Dodd (D)

Prescott Bush (R) vs Lowell Weicker (R) vs William A. Purtell (R) vs Raymond E. Baldwin (R)

Delaware

Joe Biden (D) vs James A. Bayard Jr (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard (D) vs Thomas F. Bayard Jr (D)

Pete Du Pont (R) vs J. Caleb Boggs (R) vs John J. Williams (R) vs William Roth (R)

Florida

Reubin Askew (D) vs Bob Graham (D) vs George Smathers (D) vs Claude Pepper (D)

Rick Scott (R) vs Marco Rubio (R) vs Jeb Bush (R) vs Ron DeSantis (R)

Georgia

Jimmy Carter (D) vs Stacey Abrams (D) vs Sam Nunn (D) vs Richard Russell Jr (D)

Brian Kemp (R) vs David Perdue (R) vs Sonny Perdue (R) vs Newt Gingrich (R)

Hawaii

Daniel Inouye (D) vs Tulsi Gabbard (D) vs Spark

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List of all possible US Senators

Taken from the localisation file "TNO_USA_senator_names_l_english.yml"

Interesting things I observed:

  1. Most states have a total of 12 possible senators, 2 for each party (RD-R, RD-D, NPP-L, NPP-C, NPP-FR, NPP-Y). But since some possible senators can become presidents (e.g. Gus Hall) or join a presidentโ€™s cabinet (e.g. Russell B. Long), there are 5 states who have 14 possible senators (Arizona, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Mississippi) and 18 states with 13 possible senators (Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New York, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, and Washington).

  2. This may or may not be a bug, but following senators appear multiples times:

  • Lement Harris โ€“ possible NPP (L) senator for both Georgia and South Dakota
  • Claude Lightfoot โ€“ possible NPP (L) senator for both Arkansas and Kentucky
  • Delmer Berg โ€“ possible NPP (L) senator for both Arizona and California
  • Edwin Westphal โ€“ possible NPP (Y) senator for both Alabama and Kansas
  • Eustace Mullins โ€“ possible NPP (Y) senator for both New York and Virginia
  • James Abourezk โ€“ possible senator for South Dakota for both the Republican and Democratic parties
  • Cecil Andrus โ€“ possible senator for Idaho for both the Republican and NPP (C) parties

Clearly, the National Progressive Party has mastered the art of cloning.

  1. The longest name is โ€œBenjamin Franklin Dillingham II,โ€ a possible NPP (FR) senator from Hawaii; the most common first name is โ€œJohnโ€ (41 instances), followed by James (22 instances) and โ€œCharlesโ€ (14).

  2. There are 22 โ€œJr.โ€s, 3 โ€œSr.โ€s, 3 โ€œIIโ€s, 2 โ€œIIIโ€s, and 1 โ€œIV.โ€

  3. 3 senators have nicknames: Bolesล‚aw โ€˜Billโ€™ Gebert (Oregon, NPP-L), O. โ€˜Abeโ€™ Murdock Jr. (Utah, RD-R), and W. A. โ€˜Tough Tonyโ€™ Boyle (Montana, NPP-C).

EDIT: 6) Just noticed the awesome father-son combo of Prescott โ€œThe Business Plotโ€ Bush as RD-R from Connecticut and George H. W. โ€œTreason And War Crimesโ€ Bush as RD-D from Texas.

Anyway, on to the list of names:

Party State Name
Republican Alabama Richmond Flowers Sr.
Republican Alabama John H. Buchanan Jr.
Democrat Alabama Carl Atwood Elliott
Democrat Alabama Howell Heflin
National Progressive Party (Left) Alabama Harry Haywood

National Progressive

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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐Ÿ˜‚

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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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What is a a bisexual person doing when theyโ€™re not dating anybody?

Theyโ€™re on standbi

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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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Geddit? No? Only me?
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โ€œSeason of the Mooseโ€ Part 0: Johnsonโ€™s Bargain of 1912

On the evening of October 14, 1912, former president and Progressive Party nominee for President Theodore Roosevelt left a dinner held in his honor at the Gilpatrick Hotel in Milwaukee. Roosevelt was schedule to speak at the Milwaukee Auditorium shortly thereafter. Upon leaving the hotel, Roosevelt was greeted by a crowd of supporters on the street. While Roosevelt was busy meeting with his supporters, a man, John Schrank, made his way through the crowd and towards Roosevelt. Concealed by the chaos of the supporters, Schrank pulled a gun from his coat and shot Roosevelt in his chest. Schrank was quickly detained by the crowd of supporters, many of whom took their anger out Schrank and beat him nearly to death. Roosevelt fell to the ground, his steel glasses case rolling out of his side pocket and his 50 page speech falling from his hand. A few doctors in the crowd rushed to the scene, but the prognosis was clear. Schrank had managed the inconceivable: slaying Americaโ€™s Bull Moose. The fledgling Progressive Party was left without a presidential nominee. Without time for another convention, the state of the party seemed dire.

However, as crisis struck the Roosevelt campaign, another crisis struck the campaign of Rooseveltโ€™s former political protรฉgรฉe turned rival, incumbent President William Taft. James Sherman, Taftโ€™s VP and the GOPโ€™s nominee for VP in the 1912 election, lost an 8 year long battle with Brightโ€™s Disease on October 16, just as the news of Rooseveltโ€™s death became widespread. The Progressive Party stood without a Presidential candidate and the GOP stood without a VP. With the election mere weeks away, former Republican and Progressive nominee for VP Hiram Johnson made a desperate bargain with President Taft: to prevent Wilson from winning, Taft and Johnson decided to run together on a united Republican- Progressive platform. As part of the arrangement, Taft would be more open to the progressive policies of his predecessor and support Johnson for president in 1916. In exchange for this, Johnson would rally support behind Taft in the 1912 election, and, should Johnson win the 1916 election, he would appoint Taft to the Supreme Court.

With the formerly fractured GOP whole again, the joint ticket of Taft and Johnson beat Wilson, albeit by a lesser margin than would have occurred had the GOP never split.

Taft and Johnson swept most of the West and Midwest, as we all as a majority of the northeast. Wilson narrowly lost his home state of New Je

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YaguyGfly
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Paulie_Felice
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E or รŸ?
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rj104
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Pun intended.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sharmaji1301
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No spoilers
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Onfour
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TR1771N
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Covid problems
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theincrediblebou
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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Spi__
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/designjeevan
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I had a vasectomy because I didnโ€™t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/demotrek
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For Gotham
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FreeHugsXD
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/djcarves
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The Ancient Romans II
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ThoughtPumP
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคญ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kitkatty0309
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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Naan-negotiable
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTreelo
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Majorpain2006
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Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

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School Was Clothed
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Couch potato
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Letting loose with these puns
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Baka!
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All dad jokes are bad and hereโ€™s why

Why

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LordCinko
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Itโ€™s pronounced โ€œNoel.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/beef_fried_rice
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I'll hop on the trend: Who I would have voted for in every Democratic convention and primaries, Republican convention and primaries, and general election since 1880

Democratic conventions

1880 - Not vote

1884 - Not vote

1888 - Not vote

1892 - Horace Boies

1896 - William Jennings Bryan

1900 - William Jennings Bryan

1904 - William Jennings Bryan (write-in)

1908 - John A. Johnson

Democratic primaries (only people on the infobox)

1912 - John Burke

1916 - Woodrow Wilson

1920 - Edwin T. Meredith

1924 - William Gibbs McAdoo

1928 - Thomas J. Walsh

1932 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1936 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1940 - Burton K. Wheeler

1944 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1948 - Harry Truman

1952 - Hubert Humphrey

1956 - Estes Kefauver

1960 - Hubert Humphrey

1964 - Lyndon B. Johnson

1968 - Robert F. Kennedy (barely not Eugene McCarthy)

1972 - Hubert Humphrey

1976 - Frank Church

1980 - Ted Kennedy

1984 - Walter Mondale

1988 - Jesse Jackson

1992 - Tom Harkin

1996 - Lyndon LaRouche

2000 - Bill Bradley

2004 - John Kerry

2008 - Barack Obama

2012 - Barack Obama

2016 - Bernie Sanders

2020 - Amy Klobuchar

Republican conventions

1880 - Ulysses S. Grant

1884 - William Tecumseh Sherman (write-in)

1888 - Frederick Douglass

1892 - Benjamin Harrison

1896 - Not sure

1900 - James A. Mount

1904 - Theodore Roosevelt

1908 - Robert La Follette

Republican primaries (only people on the infobox)

1912 - Robert La Follette

1916 - Robert La Follette

1920 - Hiram Johnson

1924 - Robert La Follette

1928 - George W. Norris

1932 - George W. Norris

1936 - William Borah

1940 - Thomas Dewey

1944 - Harold Stassen

1948 - Harold Stassen

1952 - Harold Stassen

1956 - Dwight Eisenhower

1960 - Nelson Rockefeller

1964 - Nelson Rockefeller

1968 - Nelson Rockefeller

1972 - Richard Nixon

1976 - Gerald Ford

1980 - John B. Anderson

1984 - Harold Stassen

1988 - Not vote

1992 - George H.W. Bush

1996 - Not vote

2000 - John McCain

2004 - Uncommitted

2008 - Ron Paul

2012 - Ron Paul

2016 - John Kasich

2020 - Bill Weld

General elections

1880 - James B. Weaver

1884 - Benjamin Butler

1888 - Alson Streeter

1892 - James B. Weaver

1896 - William Jennings Bryan

1900 - William Jennings Bryan

1904 - Theodore Roosevelt

1908 - Thomas Edward Watson

1912 - Theodore Roosevelt

1916 - Allan L. Benson

1920 - Parley Christensen

1924 - Robert La Follette

1928 - Al Smith

1932 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1936 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1940 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1944 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1948 - Henry Wallace

1952 - Farrell Dobbs

1956 - Dwight Eisenhower

1960 - John F. Kennedy

1964 - Lynd

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/twolvesfan9
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How I would vote in every RNC

1856: John McClean

1860: Salmon P. Chase

1864: Abraham Lincoln

1868: Ulysses S. Grant

1872: Ulysses S. Grant

1876: Benjamin Bristow

1880: John Sherman

1884: James Blaine

1888: John Sherman

1892: James Blaine (Draft)

1896: Thomas Reed

1900: Abstain

1904: Theodore Roosevelt

1908: Robert Taft

1912: Theodore Roosevelt

1916: Charles Evan Hughes

1920: Hiram Johnson

1924: Hiram Johnson

1928: Herbert Hoover

1932: Abstain

1936: William Borah

1940: Thomas Dewey

1944: Thomas Dewey

1948: Earl Warren

1952: Dwight Eisenhower

1956: Dwight Eisenhower

1960: Nelson Rockefeller

1964: William Scranton

1968: George Romney

1972: Richard Nixon

1976: Gerald Ford

1980: George H.W. Bush

1984: Abstain

1988: George H.W. Bush

1992: George H.W. Bush

1996: Bob Dole

2000: John McCain

2004: George W. Bush

2008: Mitt Romney

2012: Mitt Romney

2016: John Kasich

2020: Bill Weld

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2021
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