A list of puns related to "High K"
Apparently, it wasn't set high enough.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Give me your best golf/pirate puns. All I can think of is High Tees (high seas) or something about a hook.
I told my daughter she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
He said the best way to not get infected is to practice proper high-jeans
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorβs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsβs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorβs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnβt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
βWellβ said Jeff, βAs Iβm sure you know the convention comes to town laterβ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
βYes of courseβ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit β‘She hides, and then I see how high I can count (out loud) before she gets annoyed and comes out to complain about the game.
I highly recommend 12/10
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
I can now say I have fans in high places.
He got high Marx.
It must be the high Mercury content.
"Inch high knees!" I replied.
ζ¨ηθηιͺ¨ι«2.54εη±³
It's a high school.
The high Cβs
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."
It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.
You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.
In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.
This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un
... keep reading on reddit β‘High Steaks
High C's.
It must have been good for his diet. It's high in fibers.
(Made from a true story)
He wanted to find the morel high ground.
He asks the bartender about it and the bartender says that if someone can jump up and touch one of the pieces of meat on their first try then they will get free drinks there for life. However, if they try and canβt do it, they have to buy everyoneβs drinks for the rest of the night. The bartender asks the guy if heβs willing to try it and the guy says βno, the steaks are too highβ.
It was a high-steaks game.
Watermelon Sugar High
I guess you could say the steaks were high
The steaks were high, but it was worth it
The stakes were too high.
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
They have a high rate of return
You should have bought a high quality denim jean with plenty of room for your legs. Those tight jeans are just not practical.
The steaks are high.
They gave it high Marx because it looked at many new Engels.
The steaks were high
"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"
"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."
Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."
"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...
Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.
"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.
Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T
... keep reading on reddit β‘The steaks are high.
It's not Manchester City or Liverpool. . . . . . . . . . Ans: Woman breasts are Divided
PS. Thought of it as a kid. Very high probability that other people have also thought of this. Cracked this in front of a friend who asked me to post here.
But you are coming back with high heelsβ. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
...I have to find a way to turn my life around before I start hitting the transmission fluid. That would shift my addiction into high gear.
He's high
Should get off their high horse.
The steaks were high
A high steaks poker tournament
The steaks are high
A man is walking into an expensive restaurant when he is stopped by the Maitre'D, who tells him that he can't be admitted without a necktie. The man, late for his appointment, runs back out to his car and searches high and low. Finally, out of desperation, he grabs a set of jumper cables, ties them into a rough knot around his neck and runs back into the restaurant. The Maitre'D stares at him for a few seconds and finally says, "Alright, I'll let you in..." and then leans in and says in a low growl, "but you'd better not try to start anything."
He came highly rectal-mended
It was high praise.
I said βYeah, I have my volume up high because Iβm deaf.β She replied βhi deaf.β ....Iβm so proud
It was a high whisk situation
They went away empty handed, the steaks were to high.
The cannibal replied "I can't, the steaks are too high"
He quickly achieved the rank of βtreem β, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamerβs family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.
This weeks top headline read, βex-treem dissed appointmentβ.
All they were throwing were high jabs.
A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.
βGood morning class, today weβll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?β
Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. βThe stars last night were fascinating.β
Teacher looks at her and says,βClose, I want you to use the word Fascinate.β
A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,βIβm fascinated by the ocean and itβs creatures.β
βThatβs still not the answer Iβm looking for.β The teacher says. βCan anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.β
A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,βMy grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.β
The high voltages.
And i noticed a giant T-Bone hanging from the ceiling.
I asked the butcher - Hey, whats this for?
Oh, replied the butcher Thats a compitition we have going. Choose what meat you want to buy and put it on the counter. You can then choose to jump and pull the t-bone down. If you do it in one shot, you get your meat free, otherwise you pay 50% more. Want to have a shot?
Nah I replied Steaks are too high
Ask where it hurts and then say "oh so you hurt your High-knee" if it's the top of the knee, or "oh you hurt your Below-knee" if it's lower. My dumbest but favorite joke I've come up with.
So we're in year 12 of high school and we all get jerseys, including our year advisor teachers who've let us, the students, decide their jersey name. Usually the jersey name is a witty pun or joke which uses the wearer's name.
One of the teachers has a last name which sounds exactly like 'jenga' (that's not her name is really spelt, but it's to protect her identity), so I'll be need your help to get some good puns.
If you guys can't think of any, the other teachers last name is Daher (pronounced "darr"), so suggestions for her name would be nice too. Thanks!
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
Heβs now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
It's always nice to end the day on a high note
High Koala Tea
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'. I said: 'Inch-high knees?' He said: 'ζ¨ηι«ιͺ¨ζ―2.54εη±³ι«.'
Somewhere, Over the Rainbow, way up high, (singing voice)
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs
Me: Ok but i talk a lot of shit when Iβm high
So they told me to get off my high horse
High definition
To get high
If they get to high they'll get busted
How a does duck get high?
On quack
They are good on the high seas.
High maintenance.
Sorry if this is a repost.
but got fired because I wasnβt good at high pressure sales.
I think i might have put the BAR too high
When im done i will let out a PSIgh of relief
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.
I guess the steaks are high.
I told him to get off his high horse.
He hates it when it's high ground.
The high C.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘Must be the high Mercury content.
Must be the high Mercury content.
It must be the high Mercury content.
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
When the steaks are high!!!
I turned her down I don't like high maintenance women
He refused, because the steaks were too high.
Apparently the bar wasnβt set high enough.
Now the steaks are high.
He told me the steaks were too high.
Me: But I talk shit when I'm high
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.