A list of puns related to "Hertfordshire Constabulary"
A police officer who was convicted of drunkenly assaulting a woman while she walked home alone has resigned from his job.
PC Oliver Banfield admitted grabbing Emma Homer, 37, and dragging her to the ground in Bidford-on-Avon in Warwickshire on 26 July last year.
He was sentenced to a 14-week curfew last Friday and ordered to pay Β£500 compensation, a victim surcharge and court costs - but avoided jail.
Banfield was suspended by West Midlands Police pending a gross misconduct hearing, but on Tuesday decided to hand in his resignation to the force.
Deputy Chief Constable Vanessa Jardine said in a statement: "Today I have accepted the resignation of PC Oliver Banfield.
"I want to stress that former PC Banfield will still face an accelerated misconduct hearing, chaired by the chief constable, in the near future."
She added that she "recognises the distress Emma Homer has suffered", they have informed her of the resignation and "will continue to keep her updated".
Banfield's sentence has caused outrage in the wake of the murder of Sarah Everard earlier this month.
Met Police officer Wayne Couzens has been charged with her kidnap and murder after she disappeared on a walk home in south London.
Labour MP Harriet Harman claimed Banfield's sentence was proof the "system fails women".
She tweeted: "Policeman attacks woman walking home alone after dark. Must have been terrifying for her but no prison sentence. He continues in post. @WMPolice (West Midlands Police) must review.
"This is proof, if any needed, that system fails women and protects men." (Wednesday 24 March 2021) https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/oliver-banfield-west-midlands-police-officer-convicted-of-assaulting-woman-resigns-from-force-12254966
Michael Grigg, 34, was jailed in December 2020 after being found guilty of two counts of penetrative sexual activity with a child.
The former officer was sentenced to six and a half years in prison for the offences at a hearing at Harrow Crown Court on December 17. Grigg was also placed on the sex offenders' register for life.
Herts Police's Chief Constable described Grigg's actions as
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For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
Pilot on me!!
Theyβre on standbi
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
French/Finnish art
Country/Canadian rap
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! π Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
βBOOMβ?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
free
Because his Visa didnβt work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
A police officer who was convicted of drunkenly assaulting a woman while she walked home alone has resigned from his job.
PC Oliver Banfield admitted grabbing Emma Homer, 37, and dragging her to the ground in Bidford-on-Avon in Warwickshire on 26 July last year.
He was sentenced to a 14-week curfew last Friday and ordered to pay Β£500 compensation, a victim surcharge and court costs - but avoided jail.
Banfield was suspended by West Midlands Police pending a gross misconduct hearing, but on Tuesday decided to hand in his resignation to the force.
Deputy Chief Constable Vanessa Jardine said in a statement: "Today I have accepted the resignation of PC Oliver Banfield.
"I want to stress that former PC Banfield will still face an accelerated misconduct hearing, chaired by the chief constable, in the near future."
She added that she "recognises the distress Emma Homer has suffered", they have informed her of the resignation and "will continue to keep her updated".
Banfield's sentence has caused outrage in the wake of the murder of Sarah Everard earlier this month.
Met Police officer Wayne Couzens has been charged with her kidnap and murder after she disappeared on a walk home in south London.
Labour MP Harriet Harman claimed Banfield's sentence was proof the "system fails women".
She tweeted: "Policeman attacks woman walking home alone after dark. Must have been terrifying for her but no prison sentence. He continues in post. @WMPolice (West Midlands Police) must review.
"This is proof, if any needed, that system fails women and protects men." (Wednesday 24 March 2021) https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/oliver-banfield-west-midlands-police-officer-convicted-of-assaulting-woman-resigns-from-force-12254966
Michael Grigg, 34, was jailed in December 2020 after being found guilty of two counts of penetrative sexual activity with a child.
The former officer was sentenced to six and a half years in prison for the offences at a hearing at Harrow Crown Court on December 17. Grigg was also placed on the sex offenders' register for life.
Herts Police's Chief Constable described Grigg's actions as
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