Helen Westley Puns

I made this same kind of post last year and while it's a bit premature. I don't think I'll be finishing anything else by the end of the year, though there's a chance I'll squeeze in the last Skyward Novella depending on how I spend the final hours of the year, in which case it will be added

This year I had a bit less opportunity to read (hence it's down by 10), but I think I still made good use of that time. Somehow my audiobook count went up by 6 on the other hand, Maybe because I spend more time gaming this year or maybe because some of them were shorter on average than last year. It's difficult to say without digging deep. As you can see my main re-read project this year was Harry Potter (last year it was the Dresden Files). I'm considering The First Law for next year and I'm surely going to do LotR. I try not to re-read novels too often, but sometimes I really need a confirmed-to-good book.

I mostly stick to fantasy, but I mix in a fair share of sci-fi, a little thriller and mystery (in this case a lot since I did all of Sherlock this year), historical, and I'm pleased to say I actually had one autobiography as well, which is very unlike me but who can resist Westley himself reading about the making of The Princess Bride along with other cast guests?

Anyways, just like last year I've rated everything out of 5. I wouldn't say they're definitive rankings unless I decide to go in with a fine-toothed comb and adjust them relative to my enjoyment of all of the other ones that year, but the general ratings should be somewhat close to my general opinion of the novels. I will note however that I'm probably a bit too generous with my ratings, as many wind up in the 3.5+ range, when with anime (of which I've seen 250 titles this year, which is up by quite a lot) I rate it far harsher. I'd say more deserve to get pulled down a bit rather than up, but that's likely not true in every case and I'd love it if everything I tried from any medium was good or better, but you never know until you try it. Without further ado here's my list.

Audiobooks:

1. The Crimson Queen by Alec Hutson 3.9/5

2. The Silver Sorceress by Alec Hutson 3.5/5

3. The Shadow King by Alec Hutson 3.6/5

4. The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy 2.1/5

5. American Gods by Neil Gaiman 3.7/5

6. Armor by John Steakly 3.85/5

7. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell by Susanna Clarke 4.45/5

8. John Uskglass and the Cumbrian Charcoal Burner by Susanna Clark (short story) 3.85/5

9. Free the Darkness

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

#Boys

• Bradley Kenneth
• Bruce Allen
• Chester Lee
• Daniel Karl
• David Allan
• David Earl
• David Leroy
• Dewey Duane
• Douglas Ray
• Duane Floyd
• Edgar Milton
• Edwin Lynn
• Gary Wayne
• George Alan
• Jack Eugene
• James Lee
• James Russel
• Jerry Lynn
• Jimmie Joseph
• Jimmy Ray
• John Clark
• John Daniel
• John Emery
• John Joseph
• Joseph Clare
• Keith Jerome
• Kenneth Charles
• Kenneth Paul
• Larry Leroy
• Larry Wayne
• Max Albert
• Michael Lynn
• Michael Ray
• Paul Richard
• Philip Ray
• Ray Allan
• Rex Allen
• Rex Eugene
• Richard Jay
• Rick Nelson
• Robert Eugene
• Robert Eugene
• Rodney Lynn
• Roger Allan
• Tim Leon
• Wayne Alvin
• Wesley Darnell
• Westley Vernon
• William Gene
• Winston Carnell

#Girls

• Alice Marie
• Anna Michelle
• Barbara Ann
• Barbara Jean
• Brenda Ann
• Carla Ann
• Carol Ann
• Caroline Marie
• Cathy Ann
• Cathy Jo
• Chris Ann
• Claudette Ann
• Constance Sue
• Darlene Louise
• Deborah Ann
• Deborah Diane
• Deborah Kay
• Debra Key
• Diane Kay
• Esther Marie
• Frances Ann
• Janice Ann
• Jean Ann
• Jeanette Sue
• Jeanne Alice
• Jeanne Lenore
• Joanne Cheryl
• Karla Kay
• Kay Beth
• Leann Rae
• Linda Marie
• Lois Anne
• Lora Gene
• Marie Sue
• Mary Ann
• Merri Gail
• Nancy Lou
• Pamela Sue
• Patricia Irene
• Paula Jane
• Paula Sue
• Peggy Ann
• Rebecca Helen
• Rebecca Jean
• Rebecca Lee
• Rita Rose
• Rose Mary
• Rosemary Irene
• Roxanna June
• Ruth Ellen
• Sharon Ann
• Sheila Ruth
• Shirley Ann
• Susan Mae
• Suzanne Faye
• Tonnie Sue
• Vicki Jean
• Virginia Ann
• Von Dale
• Zellma Marguerite

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But let me give it a shot.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Amy

He’s the new temp.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.