Hashomer Hatzair Puns

Intro:

Hello and welcome to another Red Flood Progress Report, this time we’re travelling to the holy lands to talk a bit about Israel. Like several nations, Israel’s content was planned more than a year ago, but the real world gets in the way of development sometimes.

Happily, we can now bring you the Israeli content, in a far more up-to-date fashion than it would’ve been initially.

Background:

Much like in the real world, the story of the Jewish people in the Red Flood, as well as the creation of Israel, is complicated.

Zionism was a rising force in the late 19th and early 20th Centuries, seeking to provide Jews with a national movement that crosses beyond mere religious lines. The concept of national self-determination and an ethnic homeland, as well as the rapid secularization of the Jewish people have produced a global movement to repatriate the world’s Jewry to the lands of Israel.

Initially lead by Theodor Herzel, The first world Zionist Congress was convened in a casino in Basel, Switzerland in 1897, the Congress was part of the early steps in the creation of a Jewish State. It’s main focus was the persecution of Jews in both Eastern and Western Europe - which was viewed as something of an emergency.

The Zionist movement set the stage for a new phase of “Aliyah”, or Jewish Immigration to Palestina, with Jews beginning to arrive on national and social grounds, rather than merely religious.

These Aliyah migrations came in waves, with the first two preceding the Great War. However, the demise of the Ottoman Empire turned the holy lands and this controversial issue over to British hands. While the Aliyahs continued, the British came under conflicting pressure from the Arabian Mashriq monarchy, its people, and Zionist organisations in Britain. Eventually these pressures lead to the 1929 Palestine Riots and the British attempts to set annual caps on Jewish immigration to Palestine and the Mashriq Kingdom. However, illegal channels of passage would become common in the early 1930’s.

1936:

In 1936 the Fifth Aliyah is underway, with Jews coming to Palestine from across Europe and The Middle East. Economic pressures, anti-semitic progroms and turbulent political scenes are driving Jewish flight. In the mandate, the Jewish communities or "Yishuv" has continued to push for the creation of a Jewish homeland.

[Fifth Aliyah Decisions for Syria](https://preview.redd.it/8gh536jedz971.png?width=518&format=png&auto=webp&s=3d440855

The "Wall and Tower" strategy was one made by the Jewish Yishuv to build settlements with a wall and tower in an incredibly fast way in order to expand the Jewish settlement and defacto establish the borders of the future Jewish state. The wall and tower settlements dictated the land that was given to Israel in the partition plan. Kibbutz "Tel Amal" (Nir David today) is the first Wall and Tower Kibbutz, it counts as a pioneer for growing fish in pools, it has a lake that was developed for years by the members of the Kibbutz, the Kibbutz was made by the movement "Hashomer Hatzair"

חומה ומגדל היא אסטרטגיית הקמת ישובים של הישוב, הקמת ישוב בצורה מהירה מאוד בעל חומה ומגדל, בכדי להרחיב את ההתיישבות העברית ולקבוע בשטח את הגבולות

העתידיים של המדינה. ישובי חומה ומגדל למעשה הכתיבו את השטח שניתן לישראל בתכנית החלוקה. קיבוץ "תל-עמל" (עכשיו ניר-דוד) הוא הקיבוץ הראשון שהוקם בשיטת "חומה ומגדל", הקיבוץ נחשב לחלוץ בגידול דגים בבריכות, יש בו נחל שפותח על ידי חברי הקיבוץ במשך שנים, הקיבוץ הוקם על ידי תנועת "השומר הצעיר".

A subreddit about Yaakov Hazan a socialist Zionist Hashomer Hatzair hakkibutz haarzi and more.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”