I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
#Small Arms and Infantry Arms
New Generation Small Arms (NGSA)
The M3 Rifle and its derivative M4 SAW and M5 carbine have served the US Armed Forces well since adoption. However, developments in small arms have shown that the technology is slowly becoming out of date. Futuristic and ambitious programs such as SPIW have proven to be disappointing. What has been promising however has been a design by one Eugene Stoner. The revolutionary use of composites and plastics and its design, its clean lines and light weight have impressed ordnance and trials units, as well as the simplicity, in terms of moving parts, of its operating mechanism.
Each branch of the armed forces has sent representatives to conduct joint trials for adoption of a new service rifle under the New Generation Small Arms (NGSA) program, focusing mainly on three different designs by the innovative designer Eugene Stoner, namely the AR-10, AR-18 and Stoner 63. After extensive troops trials, the final conclusion was that all the designs proposed had merit, but that a compromise between existing designs would be the best way forward for the general military. As such, the DoD has requested that Armalite and Stoner mate the AR-18’s magnificent short-stroke gas piston system with the elegant lines and innovative manufacturing of the AR-10. The new compromise proposal, designated XM18, will weigh approximately 7.3lb empty, a saving of approximately 1lb from the previous M3. A number of features will be requested to be included, namely
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A chrome-lined chamber for ease of maintenance and corrosion resistance
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A modified ambidextrous charging handle set in the rear of the upper receiver
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A side-mounted carrying handle
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A railed top receiver for mounting optical sighting systems
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A forward assist system
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Magazine interchangeability with the M3 family
In addition to the standard 20” barrel M18 rifle, there will also be the M19 SAW variant with a bipod, foregrip and heavier profile barrel, and mostly issued with 30rd magazines (though the magazines will be compatible across all members of the family) the M20 with a shorter 15.7” barrel for airborne and air assault units, and an even shorter-barreled M21 Compact Carbine with a 12-inch barrel. The weapons are expected to begin fielding in 1963, with re-arming of the combat forces complete by 1967, and of the entire armed forces by 1971
At issue, each squad will receive two Colt-made 3x scopes for distribution and mounting, with the fina
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I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
