Overheard at work: On my 40th birthday, I will be celebrating…
The first anniversary of my 39th birthday.
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday.
The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.
I said, “That’s outrageous!”
He just shrugged and said, “That’s inflation for you.”
What does a pirate say when he has his 80th birthday?
Happy Birthday Beethoven
In honor of Ludwig von Beethoven's 250th birthday ...
What is Beethoven doing to celebrate his 250th birthday?
He's decomposing!
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
For my birthday my brother bought me an elephant for my room.
I said "Thanks." He said "Don't mention it."
What did the cake say to the birthday boy?
You want a piece of me?!?
I bought my Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday..
Just so glad She's now finally independent..
I gave my dad his 50th birthday card.
He said: "One would have been enough."
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
rom one dad to another, Happy Father’s Day.
May your day be filled with laughter and children groaning at your terrible puns.
I don’t understand why my son was so upset I gave him broken down cardboard for his birthday.
He’s the one who kept asking for an ex-box.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke had got him for his birthday?
People say that money is not the key to happiness...
But I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
For my birthday I got a t-shirt that says "I'm a nudist."
Hey friends! In support of the LGBTQ+ community I wanted to design a punny pride greeting card and I am so happy with how it turned out :D let me know what you think!
My son came up with this gem just now during his birthday dinner:
What kind of beans do you find in a measuring cup?
Pint-o beans!
What do you gift a ghost for it’s birthday?
For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping.
He’s in for a rude awakening.
What does a clam do on his birthday?
My mate bought me a terrible thesaurus for my birthday.
I just couldn't find the words to thank him.
What do you call a happy UFC fighter?
Today’s my husband’s birthday and he’s a huge pencil enthusiast. I got him a great gift
Seems like someone’s gonna get lead tonight.
Why was Neil Armstrong happy before landing?
Cats purr when they're happy.
I don't think I'll be able to tell you the whole story about the rich kid's birthday presents
I’ve got a condition which causes me to make terrible puns.
It’s a dad-ly disease.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that get me though my day to day life, without you Dad Jokes wouldn’t mean a thing 😉
I threw my blind wife with a surprise birthday party
She never saw it coming!
Edit: I changed the title and still has a typo -.-`
For my first birthday, my father gifted me a set of gaming cubes supposedly owned by Al Capone...
I've been spending most my life playing with a gangster's pair of dice.
Why did the happy-go-lucky man quit his job at the Pepsi can crushing factory?
Because it was soda pressing. 😬
Why was the divorced dad so happy when his ex-wife swore at him in family court this morning?
Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day
I'm actually happy for once in life!
Wait nevermind that's just the drugs kicking in ;(
I'm learning Spanish right now. My wife said she was happy with how far I've come. I replied, me alegro de que alegres.
She replied, happiness is subjunctive.
Arr Appy Birthday
https://preview.redd.it/daqptxzus6u61.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5ed488542b73ef441b499b4b42089a480cc36f4
How do you get up votes on reddit?
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
If you always sing happy birthday on the toilet.
Technically you're always right.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What did the one-eyed pirate say on his 80th birthday?
I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said...
"You know, one would have been enough."
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