Did you hear about the new Halloween movie where the guy screams his lungs out?

It was breathtaking

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Son is going as "Scream" for Halloween, dadjoked him

My son was telling me about how he talked to a boy on his schoolbus about Halloween. He told me, "I said I'm going as Scream for Halloween, and he said he's gonna be Scream too!".

So I, seizing the opportunity, said: "I guess that makes you Scream One then!"

God, I laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Omegafrog1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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The Coffin Joke

Three brothers are trick or treating near a shady house. Suddenly, a spider appears on the first brothers arm causing him to scream in shock. This causes the second brother to run away in fear only to get hit over the head by a dead tree branch. The third brother tries to escape but trips over a coffin. Filled with fright, the three brothers decide to go back home before they are stopped by a ghost that informs them, β€œThe items you have encountered today will kill you in exactly 20 years.” and vanishes into thin air. Understandably, the three brothers were terrified out of their wits and ran back to their house.

20 years later on Halloween, the first brother has booby trapped and spider-proofed his entire house. Unfortunately, he accidently runs into a wall causing a black widow to fall on his arm and killing him.

The second brother has prepared for many years and made sure that he was nowhere near any trees. However, he somehow miscalculated by one day and was killed when a lightning bolt struck a tree causing it to fall and crush him.

The third brother completely forgot about the ghost’s warning and was having dinner with his wife. His allergies were really acting up that night, so he decided to go to a pharmacy to purchase some allergy medicine. Suddenly, without any warning, the entire store goes dark and a giant coffin appears in front of him, opens up, and starts moving towards him. Remembering his frightful Halloween over 20 years ago, the brother starts desperately throwing everything in sight towards the coffin but to no avail. Now there is nothing else left other than a lone bottle of NyQuil. In one last brave attempt, the brother throws the bottle of NyQuil at the coffin and it miraculously vanishes.

Because NyQuil keeps the coffin’ away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schosple-collopis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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I need candy puns

Please give me puns I can quickly shout while walking through the hallway and chucking candy after screaming the pun. Preferably candy you would get on Halloween. Thank you for helping me out.

You are Musketeers of my heart.

.............

i hate myself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/energized-pickle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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