Group Of Pictures Puns

Poparazzi.

I said "You shouldn't go out in public like that. You would look shady." No one responded. I apologized for the lame joke. I tell lame jokes like this all the time and that might have been the last straw. What do I do? Help.

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of their choice, and whoever received the most karma for it would win.

Adam, already undecided himself, decided to go to /r/AskReddit. He laid out the agreement, and asked that everyone vote one their favorite movie, and the one with the most votes he would use for the his friends. Unfortunately, as the votes were split in that sub, his highest post amounted to a mere 38 points.

Paul, a big proponent for the Toy Story franchise, posted to /r/nostalgia in the hopes that everyone who grew up with Toy Story would agree. Unfortunately, as there had been two sequels (with a third on the way) it wasn't exactly considered "nostalgia" and he got downvoted into oblivion.

Bill, who loved Monsters Inc., made his case using some trickery. Going to /r/news, he found a seemingly unrelated post, and made a top-level comment describing, in great detail, why Monsters Inc. was the greatest film of all time. The fact that the post was so out of context made everyone flock to it, and drew enough attention to new him over a thousand fake internet points.

Mike, who loved the Incredibles movies, decided to stay in his wheelhouse. Over the course of several hours, he created each of the family members from the Incredibles in Soulcaliber VI. Finally, he photoshopped the family together, and posted it to /r/gaming. Under normal circumstances this would have skyrocketed to the top, but the format was stale, and thus only received 20k karma. Still, Mike was confident in his victory.

While the other four friends came up with plans on how to maximize their karma gains, Chris sat silently. For hours he sat, making no posts, coming up with no original content. Finally, an hour before the deadline, he broke into his neighbor's house, stealing his copy of the Pixar movie "Up". He took a picture of his theft and posted it directly to /r/dadjokes with the title "STOLEN".

When the group got together the next day to see who got the most votes, everyone was in awe. Chris's post had over 40,000 points. "How did you know that would win?" "Easy," Chris replied. "Everyone knows stolen content on /r/dadjokes gets all the Up votes."

So I'm at a family wedding. The dance floor has been pretty quiet all night. It's getting late and a lot of people left already. For some reason, the DJ brings up YMCA and finally manages to get the remaining people going. By the time the Beejees come on with Stayin' Alive everyone is moving around, myself included, and there's a somewhat big group really going crazy and doing dance moves. The photographer gets real close and starts taking pictures. Then she leans over to me to talk, as I'm dancing with my girlfriend and one of her kids.

Photographer: "People suddenly really came to life, huh?"

Me: "Yes. This party is really... Staying alive."

Her groan was louder than the music.

A group of us were out getting lunch. (my paraphrasing)

Boss: "Hey guys check out these pictures I took on my vacation."

passes around camera to rest of table to view pictures

Coworker: "Wow! How did you get such a perfectly timed photo of lightning?"

shows rest of table a beautiful picture of lightning

Me: "He must have lightning reflexes!"

collective groan

I am just getting back from dinner with my girlfriend and her dad. He was telling a story about how, back in the day, he and a friend of his were on a trip to Europe. I forget why, but they had an option to either go back home to the states or travel without their group for another two weeks. They decided to stay and travel and made a stop in Venice. While there, he and his friend had made it their goal to find and photograph a blind man.

Why?

"So I could show people a picture of a Venetian blind."

My girlfriend groaned audibly. I laughed uproariously.