My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he canโ€™t even look at himself in the mirror.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My girlfriend and I only watch the first two-thirds of every Great British Baking Show episode.

The final challenge is a real showstopper.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lanman33
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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A Great British pun!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/orlanthi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but Iโ€™m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, โ€œConstipationโ€? Well it doesnโ€™t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said โ€œNo, doc, itโ€™s dis knee.โ€

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses donโ€™t cause reactions, after all.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why canโ€™t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You donโ€™t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I canโ€™t stop reading books with female protagonists! Iโ€™m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fightโ€ฆ 21.

My friend told me, โ€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!โ€ So I said, โ€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!โ€

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bondโ€ฆ ionic bond. โ€œTaken, not shared.โ€ What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santaโ€™s sleigh cost? $0, itโ€™s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

Iโ€™m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, Iโ€™m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide Whatโ€™s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But thatโ€™s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kinjago
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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(British pun) People keep saying Trump might dessert the country...

Is that because he has been backed into a Mรผller Corner?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Statically
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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New TV Show Puns

I put up Punderdome cards on my door every day. Today's cards were too much fun not to share. What else can you come up with?

https://preview.redd.it/fru7gc2epjo21.jpg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370a3ac0776b86863ed4ec133f9b667ec190566f

Project Run-a-way

America's Next Top Money Launderer

Keeping Up with the Car-Jackings

Naked & Public Exposure

My Solitary Confinement Life

The Real House-arrest Wives

The Great British Breaking & Entering

So You Think You Can Drink & Drive?

America's Got Theft

Pawn(ing Stolen Goods) Stars

Jersey Shore You Should Steal That Car

Who Wants to be an Arrested Felon?

Say Yes to the Drugs

Arson Daily

What else do can you think of?!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leash15
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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The Bad Spy

During World War 2, a spy working for the East, and a spy working for Great Britain infiltrated Nazi Germany.

Their mission, eliminating a Schutzstaffel officer.

They succeeded, and the british infiltrator taunted his target afterwards

However, his comrade in arms then punched him in the face.

Why ?

>!He had said "You SS are stupid."!<

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Arklaw
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 28 2018
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My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he canโ€™t even look at himself in the mirror.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 114
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he canโ€™t even look at himself in the mirror.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 726
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he canโ€™t even look at himself in the mirror.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I spent my whole life being proud of my British heritage until I found out that my Great Grandfather was actually from Transylvaniaโ€ฆ

Now I canโ€™t even look myself in the mirrorโ€ฆ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Great British Baking Show is an in tents competition.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RSTLNE3MCAAV
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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