Read Chapter 1 Here
Previous Chapter Here
Happy Wednesday Eve! Enjoy the update and as always let me know what you think!
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The sharp sound of tearing fabric filled the over-sized hotel room and Questing for Great Truths let out a string of expletives in several languages. One metallic toe had caught on the fabric of her forest green coveralls and now there was a ragged, thirty centimetre long rip in the fabric going from crotch almost to knee. She glanced with chagrin at her hamper, which contained her other two coveralls.
Questing for Great Truths had meant to pick up some additional clothes on planet, saving her travel mass allowance for various electronics, but there didn't seem to be any time and now she was down to two pairs of dirty, greasy coveralls. She didn't even have something clean to wear while she washed them. She was going to have to wear dirty clothes to clean a single set of coveralls, then switch. Questing for Great Truths hated wearing dirty clothes. She sent a message to Jessica, the Facilities Coordinator, asking if there was any spare clothing around. None of it would fit properly thanks to her leg enhancements, but maybe she would get lucky. The response popped up in her visual field, floating in front of her.
<- Next trip into town is scheduled for two days from now. If you don't want to make a special trip on your lonesome, you can borrow something of mine or talk to Stace.
-> Why Stace?
<- According to Ayen, he's an excellent tailor.
Well, that was an idea. She had been meaning to talk to him again, and perhaps working on a mundane task like this would work. She flipped to Stace's contact.
-> I am sorry to bother you, but I am in a bit of a bind. My only clean coveralls just ripped and I don't have any replacement clothing to wear. Jessica said you might be able to mend them. Can you help? I can see if someone will deliver them. You won't even have to see me.
Questing for Great Truths hummed tunelessly to herself and looked around the room while she waited for a response. Everything was too big, but that was just part of being in the Shil'vati Empire. All of her electronics had been delivered and the assorted hardware, espionage and counter-espionage equipment, and classic gaming systems were suitably piled up in an awkward fashion th
... keep reading on reddit ➡I was very fortunate to grab the last legitimate parking spot at the Flying J at 2:30 this morning. (Been running this odd "second shift" all week). I'm eating at a crowded Denny's here on Christmas. I never thought I'd say this, but it actually feels good to be amongst people; even strangers. I decided to run a little harder than usual, been out since November 2nd..I was starting to feel isolated. I can tell you, my baby ain't too happy bout it. Merry Christmas 🎄 to all my truckers out there. Thanks for doing what ya'll do. For a Thankless job, here's a thanks! Keep the greasy-side down. From Tulsa, RC
"The earth is only capable of supporting 5 million humans, any more is a blight upon Mother Earth. No more will patriarchy artificially control mankind and rape mother earth, we shall return to matriarchy that is in touch with our Mother Earth as the castles and fortresses of old fall. The coming death toll is mankind's punishment for the disfiguring and rape of our Mother. We are not doing this to you, you have done it to yourself. All of Nature will turn against you, for you will reap what you have sown." - Paragraph 7, Page 432 of 2641 of the electronically transmitted and physical paper delivered Extinction Agenda Attack Manifesto
The plant-life rustled and shifted in the night. The moon, scarred now and marked with sparkling rippling pools of greenish-white light, stared down at the earth below. The Man in the Moon was scarred, almost unrecognizable, forever marked by the Mantid Attack.
There was a sharp crack as roots managed to snap away another thick slab of atomsite. The pressure changes made the cracked and rippled plain of greenish blue atomsite glass 'sing' in the night. High pitches squeals and squeaks, bass rumblings, and sharp cracks as the eighty mile wide glass settled and popped.
Less than a minute afterwards there was a rumble and the ground shook for nearly five seconds.
The earthquake had more to do with the aftershocks of the planetary bombardment than it did with the pressures in the glass equalizing, but the coincidence was often enough that many survivors equated correlation with causation.
The figure sitting on the upthrust chunk of atomsite, known to most as Lossglass, barely moved, riding out the rumble with the skill of long practice. He, and it was obviously a he, was one of those men who was made large by bone, sinew, and muscle. He was dressed in thick denim pants, a light t-shirt, a sportsball cap, and heavy military boots, a wedding ring on one finger, the ring and the finger both scarred and dented.
He was facing the jungle, staring across the twenty paces of broken up sand where the moss and fungus was hidden. Where hardy grasses peeked up from between the broken shards of glass. One hand was cupping his chin, the elbow on his
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
"The light in the window is a crack in the sky..." - Ozzy "Hairy Goblin" Osbourne, industrialist, supervillain, and musician
General NoDra'ak walked slowly along the path, breathing slow and steady, letting his grasping arms and bladearms hang loose and swing back and forth. He'd just gotten finished with a three minute time on a 2-mile run and felt pretty good about himself.
Despite going on nearly four hundred he was in excellent physical condition. True, he was a little more out of breath than he would have been two hundred years ago, but it wasn't that long ago that he would have only lived to the grand old age "got his head eaten by a matron" so all in all he was pretty satisfied with everything.
Now if only the Trial of General Trucker, as it was being labeled in the press, would be as easy as a two mile sprint.
NoDra'ak felt a slight tingle of irritation at the thought of the trial. With the whole thing moving to General Court Martial, with a judge and a full panel of nine, the whole thing had turned into a massive warhead with the addition of the Immortals.
General NoDra'ak snickered to himself at the memory of the JAG officer giving one of the Immortals the questionnaire to see if they were suitable to sit on the board.
The JAG officer had asked the innocent faced female Terran/feline hybrid simply: "Have you ever worked with General Trucker previously to this?" and gotten a string of emojis and the simple word "Doki." The translator had packed it in and the JAG officer had turned to NoDra'ak and the JAG Office CO and just shrugged.
The Neko-Marine was nearly eight thousand years old, had 'fallen' into the embrace of the Neko-Marines nearly as long ago, during the Second Terran/Mantid War. A former Four Star General equivalent with an impressive combat record before her 'Fall', the fact that she was still alive and part of the Neko-Marine's 'command structure' (if one could call it that) was impressive all on its own.
Still the JAG officer could not even certify that what the Joan was experiencing and what everyone else was experiencing was the same thing.
So she had been excused from sitting on the court martial board.
JAG wasn't sure about having Gene
... keep reading on reddit ➡It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Mine was many years ago i saw the band Monster Truck (canadian stoner rock band) supporting vista chino having run out of pre gig beer money i thought I'd just go hang around the venue for a couple hours to be first in, ended up meeting their singer outside and chatting to him for an hour or two and through that time met the whole band. Before they went in to sound check he asked me what my favourite song of theirs is and just before the last song pointed me out to the crowd said how welcome i made them feel and said this last song is for me and played Righteous Smoke after which their guitarist jumped down, gave me a hug and said "that was a thank you for spending time talking to us all"
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
[Removed]
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
