Grandpa Birthday Puns

Now he’s 65 and I don’t know where he is.

Without missing a beat my uncle ( her dad) says "1%"

Simple but made the whole table laugh

I asked if we could get some for the humans too.

Me: Happy Birthday Grandpa! How old are you today?

Grandpa: I am 84 Years old today.

Me: Wow..Your getting up there grandpa. I hope to live to be 84 some day.

Grandpa: Im sure you will be. We come from a line of long livers..... some of us even have livers this long. (Holds hands up two feet apart from one another).

"You're going to use up all the film taking so many pictures!"

"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.

She was telling me her plans for next weekend:

Sister: "... Then I'm going to Neil's surprise 30th birthday"

Me: "Why is it a surprise? Doesn't he know he's turning 30?"

At least my mom cracked up :D

Grandpa: What should I get grandma for her birthday?

Me: A watch, can't go wrong with a watch.

Grandpa: Nah, there's a clock on the stove

My family had a get-together for my grandpa's birthday tonight and ISIS became the topic of the conversation.

Aunty: "I heard that ISIS is all over the place now."

Dad: "Yeah, you know where it is?"

Grandpa: "Where?"

Dad: "ISIS in the freezer."

Eyerolls and groans everywhere.

I was at my grandpa's birthday party and my dad brought some sharp cheddar cheese. My grandpa without hesitation said, "This cheese is so sharp, you can use it to cut the rest of it!"

I was celebrating my birthday with family when this exchange occurred between my grandpa and aunt.

My Aunt: "Sorry your uncle couldn't make it to the party. He has a little league game tonight."

Grandpa: "Isn't he a bit old for little league? Hehehe!"

My extended family was all at my grandparents house talking about visiting the family burial plot on my great grandmas birthday (she passed years ago).

This is when grandpa said he sold his burial plot. Grandma looked at him a little confused and surprised because they were going to be buried next to each other.

Grandpa smiles and says, "What? Till death do us part. After that you're on your own!"

About a minute of laughter ensued.