Today, the kids were making some Christmas crafts. My dad presses one of those plastic googly eyes into my palm, leans in close and says..

".. I'm keeping my eye on you."

I freaking love that guy.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/wizard7926
📅︎ Dec 03 2017
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That googly eyed stare.....[OC]
👍︎ 17
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📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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My sister asked my dad to keep an eye on her car while she was on vacation.

She came back to this.

👍︎ 175
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👤︎ u/poringo
📅︎ Jan 15 2014
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So kermit the frog walks into a bank...

He walks up to the teller. Her nametag says "Patricia Wak". He says, "Hey there, Patty, I'd like a loan." She replies, "Okay, for how much?"

"Ten dollars."

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorize that."

"Really? Well, what if I give you this?"

He hands her a clam with a top hat and googly eyes.

"Um... What is this?"

"Alright, alright. What if I told you my dad was Mick Jagger?"

"I can't give you a 10 dollar loan, it's simply against policy."

"Alright, I'll tell you what. Go talk to your manager, and bring the clam with you. He'll let you give me a loan."

Patricia walks into the back office and tells the manager the story. He immediately says "Alright, give him the loan."

"I'm sorry, but why this time?"

"Well (picking up the clam), it's mainly because of this, and also because of his dad."

"What is it exactly?"

"It's a knick knack, Patty Wak, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

My dad's favourite.

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👤︎ u/hylandw
📅︎ Dec 03 2013
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"It may be a blast for you..."

"...but it's not a blasphemy!"

https://imgur.com/a/Jx3pS

dad joke owning r/funny post

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Oct 06 2017
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Google's new smartphone.

Dad walks up to me today.

Dad- "You hear that Google is making a new smartphone?"

Me- "No? Don't really follow things like that closely."

Dad- "Uh yeah, it's kind of like the Iphone.... They call it the Googly EyePhone."

So I proceeded to give him the idea to stick some actual googly eyes on his Iphone. Now I'm sure he will pull out this joke any chance he can get...

👍︎ 17
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👤︎ u/SkaSC2
📅︎ Sep 18 2013
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