Good Rock Puns

It was pretty gneiss.

(I made basically this joke on a date this weekend at this museum, it took her a bit to get it but she appreciated it).

"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."

An o.pal

But some can make a pyrite.

I'd be like, "where did all my nickels go?"

I said “No, but I’m pretty good with Bohemian Rhapsody”

They Seamus all!

Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?" "Erm, I don't know" I replied "Mickey Mouse" he replied laughing

"Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs" "Donald Duck" I replied

"No, all ducks you idiot"

...that I start shaking uncontrollably.

Because you shouldn't press your luck.

They said to press 1 for the money, 2 for the show...

Shake it off! Sorry that was a tectonic sized joke

Some call her... surfragette!

I'm bringing paper.

It was a no-fault divorce

It helps me speak boulder.

Icy Dead People.

A drynosaur!

Nobody in my house thought this was funny the first time. Or the twenty third time.

There’s only one other coworker on that line, so he has to make every second count.

GORGON-zola

A sith-kebab.

Smoking bacon will cure it.

It ends in a fight.

“Oh no! Mi-chelle!”

I was like “GET OVER HERE!!”

You hit Rock bottom

It hasn’t reached its peak yet.

They’re traveling light.

With a sighsmograph

Edit: Wow, you guys, Thank-you the the awards and upvotes. If only my family appreciated this joke as much as you do!

My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!

1. I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.
2. I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
3. I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
4. I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.
5. I lost my job as a maze designed. I got lost in my work.
6. I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!
7. I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!
8. I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”
9. I lost my job as an astronomer. I thought my work was looking up!
10. I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.
11. I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!
12. I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.
13. I lost my job as a math teacher, same job I’ve had since 2000. That’s 46 years down the drain!
14. I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.
15. I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.
16. I lost my job as a baker. I really kneaded the dough!
17. I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.
18. I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.
19. I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.
20. I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.
21. I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.
22. I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.
23. I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.
24. I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.
25. I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.
26. I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.
27. I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.
28. I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.
29. I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
30. I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.
31. I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.
32. I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.
33. I lost my job at Dunkin. It’s ok, I was fed up wit

You’d b-52 now

It's tearable

Actually, don't worry about it, it was tearable anyway!

it was gorgeous

I heard two good ones the other day.

Q: What smells like poop and rings like a bell?

A: Dunnng

Q: Have you heard of the new Scandavian religious rock band?

A: No? Well, I heard they're Bjorn Again Christians.

It’s a good thing Chris Rock didn’t tell any jokes about Alec Baldwin’s wife

SO here I go again on my own

He said, yes